This week, I share an interesting idea about livestreaming on Twitch, an interesting article about pornographic detachment, and continue our interesting study of John Bunyan’s classic, Pilgrims Progress by exploring the middle of the third chapter where Christian meets Good Will at the Wicket Gate.
**Content Warning: This post may be a little graphic.**
Seeing the title of this post may be a little surprising to you but it’s a topic that I’ve been meaning to cover for a long time. And since I don’t have to prepare a sermon this week I thought that this would be a perfect time to work on it.
Why did I want to cover such a topic? Because it comes up a lot more than you might think in my counselling ministry. I’ve been asked the question, “Is it okay to masturbate?” many times over the years. I’ve been asked by men, women, teens, moms, dads, husbands and wives. I’ve been asked face to face by people in my home church and through e-mail by people all around the world who have contacted me through my blog. This is a relevant and important topic and I want to try to give it a proper treatment.
But since I don’t have to write a sermon this week, instead of writing it as a block of theological prose, I want to do it in the form of a conversation.
Three People One Conversation
Corrine (40): “Hi, Pastor Al. I’m the mother of a teen boy and a teen girl and I have a really personal question for you. What does the Bible say about masturbation? My son has started to take 20-minute showers and I’m starting to find laundry baskets full of sticky clothes and I’m sure he’s masturbating. My daughter probably is too, though I’ve never caught her. It makes me angry and scared and I want to yell at them and tell them to stop, but I don’t know what to say.”
Kyle (15): “Hey, Pastor Al. I’ve got a problem. Or, at least, I think it’s a problem. I don’t know. Maybe not. I know porn is bad and I’m not supposed to have sex before marriage and stuff, but what about masturbation? My school tells me it’s natural and healthy and some websites I’ve seen even tell me it’s good for my mental health, but I feel really guilty after I’ve done it. What does the Bible say about it?”
Ted (31): “G’mornin’, Pastor Al. Actually, I’m not doing very well today. I feel sad, sick, depressed, and angry. I’ve been married for a while now, and I love my wife, but my sex life is pretty much dead. Between work, the kids, her health, our busy schedules, her period, and everything else, we basically don’t do it anymore. And the last couple times we’ve done it, she’s been so unresponsive that it’s not even enjoyable. Don’t get me wrong, I love her, and the rest of our marriage is pretty good, but it’s killing me that we can’t be together. I think I’m one of those men with high testosterone because I’m literally always horny. And I can hold it together for a little while, but after a few days, it’s all I can think about. I start to get angry and have sex dreams and feel irritable and depressed. That’s when I do it and I’m so sick of that cycle. I’ve been working really hard not to look at porn, though I do fail sometimes, but what about just doing it myself so I can stay sane? Am I allowed to just get myself off in the shower and be done with it? When I do I try to think of my wife. It makes me feel better for a bit – while at the same time it makes me feel guilty too. So, what do you think? Does the Bible even say anything about that kind of stuff?”
Pastor Al: “Wow, that sounds really tough, and I’m really glad you had the courage to come to me and ask about it. Not only that, I’m really proud of you that you are asking the question ‘What does the Bible say?’ because that means you want to do things God’s way and that shows humility and obedience. That’s really good. The first thing I need to ask you is this: What’s the pornography situation in your home right now? Do you have blockers on the internet or is it wide open? Is this question really about pornography or is it about masturbation?”
CKT: “Yes, we’ve got the blockers up and all that. Our house is locked down. The only place it can be accessed is through the data on the cell phones, but we have safe-guards on them and don’t have a tonne of data so that’s not really a big issue. This really is about masturbation.”
Pastor Al: “Ok, that’s good, because it’s an important distinction. What do you know already? I’m guessing you’ve already done some googling, right?”
CKT: “Some, but there are a million websites with a million different answers, and half of the response that come up are pornographic so I just gave up and came to you. But I did learn that Christians call masturbation ‘Onanism’ for some reason. What’s that all about?”
Pastor Al: “Yeah, let’s get that out of the way. Onan was a guy in the Old Testament who was killed by God because he ‘spilled his semen on the ground’ (Gen 38:9). Some people think this means that any man who ejaculates anywhere except into a woman’s vagina is sinning, but that’s now what it means. According to God’s law, if a married man died without a child, another one of his family members was obligated to marry the widow and sire a son so that the dead man’s property would be passed down to her son and the widow would be taken care of. Onan didn’t want to obey this law because he wanted the land for himself. He was happy to have sex but didn’t want to risk her getting pregnant, so whenever they had sex he pulled out. So Onan’s sin wasn’t ‘spilling his semen on the ground’, it was refusing to obey God’s law and not caring for the widow, but using her instead.”
Pastor Al: “But definitions are still important. Strictly speaking masturbation, simply put, is stimulating yourself in such a way that it produces sexual arousal. That’s it.”
CKT: “Ok, but is it a sin?”
Pastor Al: “Well, it’s not quite that simple. There’s actually no Bible verse you can go to that says that masturbation is either good or bad. There are lots of verses about sexual purity, but nothing about masturbation.”
CKT: “So it’s okay?”
Pastor Al: “Well, hold on. Let’s explore it a little bit more. It’s not that the Bible has nothing to say, it’s just that there’s no ‘gotcha verse’. Look at 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 for example. The ESV gives this section the title ‘Flee Sexual Immorality’, right? Here, let me read it to you:
‘All things are lawful for me,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be dominated by anything. ‘Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food’—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh.’ But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
Paul starts by saying, essentially, “Jesus has freed us from the Law that forced God’s people to eat, drink, wash, travel, clothe themselves, etc. in certain ways. Jesus fulfilled the Law and opened up the world to His people to enjoy and explore free from the restrictions of the Law which only brought guilt. But that doesn’t mean we are free to do whatever we want. Romans 6 says that Jesus doesn’t set us free to do whatever, but instead that we “have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.” (Rom 6:18). That means that even though we have tonnes of freedom in Christ, far more than any Jew or other hyper-religious nuts, there are still limitations because we are not our own, we are the property of Christ and He can tell us to do what He wants. Paul talks about some of those limitations in 1 Corinthians.
We all want a ‘gotcha verse’ to make this simpler, but there isn’t one. So, since there is no Law or scripture specifically against masturbation, then that means we have to ask some more questions, and I think this passage gives us 4 really good ones: “Is masturbation helpful?” “Is masturbation dominating me?” “Does masturbation honour God’s plan for sexual purity in marriage?” “Does masturbation glorify God?”
CKT: “It sounds like you are saying that it’s bad, right? It’s hard to believe masturbation is helpful and God-glorifying!”
Pastor Al: “Not necessarily. Just because something doesn’t sound God-glorifying, doesn’t mean it isn’t. People starve themselves in fasting and that glorifies God. Police officers and soldiers kill people and that glorifies God. Parents punish and discipline their children and that glorifies God. And when doctors slice people open, fill them with poison, and blast them with radiation that causes them to be terribly sick to cure cancer – and that also glorifies God. Right?”
CKT: “Well, now I’m really confused.”
Pastor Al: “Hang in there because what we’re talking about isn’t as simple as ‘Don’t steal’ or ‘Be generous’. It’s more complicated because it has far more to do with your motives than your actions.”
CKT: “Ok, so how do I figure out the motive? From what I can tell it’s just horniness.”
Pastor Al: “Well, there’s a lot happening when someone masturbates, so let’s do a pros and cons list to see what’s actually going on behind the surface of the action. So, why do people masturbate?”
CKT: “Well, it feels good. But that’s not a good reason for anything, is it?”
Pastor Al: “It’s not a bad reason though. People do lots of things just because they feel good. People eat cake, which has very little nutritional value, but I never get asked whether the Bible says it’s ok to eat cake. People skydive and surf and look at art and get suntans and swim and get massages and back-scratches and their nails done… and none of that is in the Bible. They just do it because it feels good. That doesn’t make it wrong.”
CKT: “Ok. It also alleviates pressure. There’s a bunch of pent-up emotions inside that get some kind of release afterwards.”
Pastor Al: “Sure. Anything else?”
CKT: “Some people say it’s a good way to learn about how you get pleasure so you can enjoy sex with your partner more.”
Pastor Al: “Alright.”
CKT: “And, uh… I guess it relieves stress? I know someone who couldn’t get to sleep at night unless they did it before bed because it helped them sleep.”
Pastor Al: “Well, stress relief yes, but that person may have been addicted.”
Pastor Al: “Yeah, pretty much anything can become addictive. If this person literally couldn’t stop, used it as their main source of escape, and felt compelled to keep doing it even if they didn’t want to, they were addicted.”
Pastor Al: “Yeah. Masturbation is a powerful thing. We’ve already talked about some of the good things it can provide, like physical pleasure and stress relief, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have dangers. Just like food can make you fat, exercise can ruin your body, and work can destroy your marriage, using a good thing in bad ways can cause real problems.
That’s the next question: ‘Is masturbation dominating me?’ Pastors, counsellors and mental health experts are all over the map with this topic because masturbation (especially to orgasm) has such a powerful effect. Doctors and psychiatrists will look at compulsive masturbation as a sign of potential mental, emotional, or behavioural problems. It can be a sign that there’s something happening beneath the surface that is far more serious.
When it gets out of control chronic masturbation can lead to withdrawal from life, disengaging with healthy relationships, and actually drive someone into deeper levels of depression.
God made sex feel good because He wants us to enjoy it. When our genitals are stimulated we feel pleasure, excitement, distraction, release, and our brain starts to squirt out all kinds of good-feeling chemicals like dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin. That’s a wonderful gift. And it works even when we pleasure ourselves privately.
The issue is that our desire for masturbation can be masking much greater problems. The reason that we get addicted or think about it all the time isn’t necessarily because we like masturbating so much – it’s because there’s something wrong in our lives and we know that spending some time alone doing that is a guaranteed way to be free from those negative feelings for a while. It works every time.
Incidentally, that’s how all addictions start. Something’s wrong with life and the person finds a substance or activity that gives them a rush and makes them forget their problems for a time. Whether it’s shooting heroin, eating until their sick, binging Netflix, thrill-seeking, or masturbating, it’s the same obsessive drive. And then it’s not long until that addiction starts to take over healthy things in their life. They withdraw from their family, friends, church, and school so they can do it more. When they are offered positive, healthy choices – counselling, nutritious food, a board game with the family, or sex with their spouse – they say no because they don’t get the same rush as they do from their addiction. That’s when things really start to spiral.
CKT: “Well, that’s scary! I don’t think it’s at the level of addiction though. I think it’s more about alleviating the pressure. After all, we all have these biological urges inside us (given to us by God, by the way) and it’s not our fault that we want release, is it?”
Pastor Al: “No, it’s not. But for every one of our desires, God has given us a way to have them fulfilled in a righteous way. It’s our sinful nature that corrupts those desires and tries to fulfill them in sinful ways. (James 1:14-17)
Say you have a desire for power. Our sinful nature tells you to dominate people, oppress them, control them. God says, if you want real power, submit your will to mine and live by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Say you have a desire for riches. Our sinful nature says to steal from others, work too much, hoard your stuff, don’t share. God says if you want real riches, tithe properly, give things away, take care of the poor, and live simply, then you’ll see treasure beyond your imagination.
God gives us a desire for tasty food, we invent refined sugar. God gives us a desire for justice, we invent revenge. God gives us a desire for peace, we punish anyone who disturbs us. God gives us a natural desire for intimate relationships and sexual release, we invent pornography and spend time away from humanity wrapped in a shield of self-stimulation.
Sometimes we get depressed, anxious, afraid, lonely, or angry and we feel bad and want a pick-me-up. God invites us to cast our cares upon Him in prayer, gives us His Word to read so we can hear His voice, gives us brothers and sisters in Christ to call, gives us the beauty of His creation to walk in, a thousand things to study in the world, and worship music to sing to lift our spirits – but instead, we lock ourselves in our bathroom alone so we can play with ourselves because we know it’s an easy way to get a hit of those feel-good brain chemicals.
So, the question comes, ‘Does masturbation honour God’s plan for the way He wants us to fulfil that desire?’”
CKT: “Ok, so I know pornography is bad, and I know there are lots of other things to do when the urge hits. And I know the importance of keeping busy and going for walks and stuff — believe me, I’ve tried! But sometimes going for a walk or listening to music or reading isn’t an option, or it isn’t helpful. And right now, in this situation, finding sexual release from a loving spouse is… just… not possible!”
Pastor Al: “Ok, so now I’m going to ask you a very personal question. What kind of thoughts go through a person’s head when they masturbate? What thoughts go through yours?”
CKT: “Well, I don’t know about anyone else, but there are a variety of things, I guess. All the porn is blocked, but I’m able to find sexual comics online. They’re not real people, just drawings, so it’s not really porn. Sometimes I read sexy stories. Or, sometimes I picture my spouse doing things that I want them to do. Sometimes I dwell on those types of things for a while, but mostly I just use them to get myself started so I can get done faster. Why, is that wrong? It’s not porn!”
Pastor Al: “You seem a little defensive. How do those things make you feel? What does your conscience say?”
CKT: “Honestly, they all feel wrong. Looking at naked drawings of people having sex seems wrong. Readings stories about people having sex seem wrong. And I feel guilty about it. But what about fanaticizing about my spouse [or future spouse]? How can that be wrong?”
Pastor Al: “There’s the operative word: ‘fantasizing’. And fantasies can be dangerous. You’re right about the sex comics and stories. They’re sinful stories about sinful actions that create sinful thoughts that affect your ability to have a holy thought life. Jesus said in Mark 7:21–23, ‘For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.’ and porn, sexual comics and stories are all defiling. When Paul wrote in Philippians 4:8 about guarding our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, he said, “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” and those comics and sexual stories are neither true nor honourable nor pure nor lovely nor commendable to others. Would you ever in a million years link to those comics on social media or give them to your small group to read? No way, right? That should tell you something.
In the same way, fantasies about your spouse are equally dangerous. That person in your mind may look like your spouse, but they aren’t, are they? They do and say things your spouse wouldn’t do or say, right? Essentially, what you’ve done, is dressed a porn star or prostitute in your spouse’s skin and have made them perform for you. And that’s damaging to your soul and your marriage. It causes resentment, bitterness, anger, and lust to swell in you because your reality will never be the same as your fantasy. It is, without question, a way for Satan to drive a wedge between you and your spouse, and you and the God who provided that spouse for you.”
CKT: “I’ve never thought of it like that.”
Pastor Al: “Yeah, it’s serious business. Ok, so what have we covered so far?”
CKT: “Well, the first question was ‘Is masturbation helpful?’ and we came up with a few ways it can be like stress relief and learning about your body. The second question was, ‘Is masturbation dominating me?’ which led to talking about addiction and how masturbation can be a sign of greater problems. The third question was, ‘Does masturbation honour God’s plan for sexual purity in marriage?’ and that really seemed to put a nail in the coffin, didn’t it? It’s hard to see how a person can masturbate while keeping their minds totally clean and pure and holy, right?”
Pastor Al: “That’s definitely a problem. But it’s not necessarily a deal breaker. After all one could say the same thing about sports. Some people get super competitive or trash-talk or start to hate the people on other teams. Or we could say the same thing about alcohol. Some people can have a glass of wine and it’s no big deal at all. Other people know that they can’t do it because it’s a real problem for them. Just because some people get super-triggered by something doesn’t mean it’s bad for everyone. That’s what Romans 14 is all about, right?”
CKT: “Ok, so that only leaves the last question. ‘Does masturbation glorify God?’”
Pastor Al: “Right. So what do you think the answer is?”
CKT: “Well, based on what we’ve been talking about I would say that since there’s no verse that says God forbids it, and since there are some good things that come from it, I suppose it could glorify God when we do it. Boy, that’s weird to say out loud. But there seem to be lots and lots of ways that it can be dangerous or addictive or sinful and therefore not glorify God. Is that right?”
Pastor Al: “Pretty good! Most people wish God would be super-clear about this kind of thing, but the fact is, He’s not. God has given us freedom to enjoy this world and glorify Him in millions of ways. Some of those ways are done in relationship with others, like serving, counselling, corporate worship, teaching, being a parent or child, or being married – but some things are done totally alone. God even says in Matthew 6 that things like doing good deeds, giving, and a lot of our praying should be done in such a way that no one ever sees it. The Bible says that everything we do – no matter how wonderful or mundane, how public or secret – can be a continual, living, holy, acceptable sacrifice of worship to God – and that could, potentially also include masturbation.”
CKT: “Really? How?”
Pastor Al: “Well, let’s do a little checklist. Masturbation could glorify God if:
- You keep your mind out of the gutter and only think of things that are excellent, lovely, praiseworthy, true, etc.
- You are not addicted to it, but are being self-controlled in your use of it.
- You are not choosing it instead of other, better things like time with your loved ones, worship, prayer, scripture, church, counselling, etc.
- You’re doing it as a way to help yourself or others to be more holy.
CKT: “Wait, what? Masturbate so you can be more holy?”
Pastor Al: “Well, 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 says that sexual frustration is a path to temptation and sin, right? That’s why we get married. It says,
‘But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.’
The best way for a person to deal with their sexual urges is with their spouse. And a spouse should do what they can to help out. But if a spouse simply cannot do anything because they are too sick or infirm, then it seems to me that the next step is to have a conversation with the spouse about masturbation. After all, when you get married your body isn’t just your own, it’s owned by God and your spouse too.
So, if you can get right with God about masturbating, then the next step is to get right with your spouse. If they say that you can do it because it’s going to help you and your relationship, and you can do it in such a way that you’re not fanaticizing about other people or some porned-up version of your spouse, then why not?
Or, say you’re not married but in a constant state of distraction because your hormones are totally going crazy. You’ve prayed for help, read your bible, are practicing self-control, are trying to keep your thoughts pure, but your sexuality is ever-present and there’s no way to get married. There’s nothing in scripture that says you can’t masturbate. Yes, there’s a laundry list of warnings about how you can do it wrong – but that’s true about a lot of things.
I’m not saying it’s a perfect solution and I’m not saying it’s right for everyone. All I’m saying is that according to what I read in scripture, there is a way to masturbate in a way that glorifies God and helps holiness. Maybe, sometimes, one thing you can do to help yourself to serve God and others better is to masturbate.
Think of it like having a cup of coffee or taking an afternoon nap. You’ve got somewhere to be at 3pm and nothing to do between now and then. You’re tired but you’ve got your work done and have some free time. You’ve done your devos, had a snack, chatted with your family, and now you’re alone. You’re not bored or sad or angry or depressed, you’re not trying to escape life or create artificial joy, you just know that the 3pm event is going to take some energy. So you have a choice. Make a pot of coffee and have a couple mugs or go to bed and have a nap. Neither is wrong and you’re motives are good.
Do some people abuse coffee? Sure. Do some people sleep too much? Sure. But that’s not your problem. You’re just doing what you think is right and you know that God, your family, and your spirit are at peace with that decision. That cup of coffee or that nap will bring glory to God. Maybe masturbation can do the same thing for some people.”
CKT: “Ok, Pastor Al. I think I have some thinking and praying to do. Some of that is way outside my field of experience and I really need to chew on that. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me about this. Please pray that I make the right decision and honour God with how I deal with it.”
Pastor Al: “Will do, CKT. Have a great day! Let me know if you have any more questions.”
I got a lot of help from:
- Butman, R. E. (1999). Masturbation. In D. G. Benner & P. C. Hill (Eds.), Baker encyclopedia of psychology & counseling (2nd ed., p. 726). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.
Most of you know that my family has been going through a tough time lately, but I know we’re not alone. Many people here today are going through difficult, confusing, painful times. It’s been heartening for us, as a church family, to spend time talking to one another about the struggles we’ve been having, and quite interesting that many people seem to be running towards the same place in scripture when they need comfort. A few people have told me how much Psalm 23 has been comforting them lately, and really, throughout their lives.
Please open up to Psalm 23 and let’s read it together:
“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”
You can see why this is such a powerful and meaningful psalm. It’s because it takes the situation out of our hands and places it in God’s. It’s an admission that we’re not in control, we’re not strong, we’re not smart, we’re not wolves or bears or tigers – we’re sheep and we need to be taken care of.
When we read Psalm 23, we admit all that, and then give it over to God. God lays us down, God restores us, God leads us. God protects us, God comforts us, God conquers, God anoints and heals and serves us.
When do realize our need for the shepherd most though? In the green pastures by the still waters? No. That’s when we end up wandering off, thinking the world is easy.
It is in the Valley of Shadow of Death and the Presence of our Enemies that we really lean into God, when we clutch Him harder, when we realize that we are only sheep – and as our view of God grows, as our nearness to the shepherd grows, the darkness and the enemies no longer seem as big or as dangerous, because the Shepherd is there with us.
Difficult times cause us to think about where we find our comfort and hope, don’t they? I’ve been thinking a lot about comfort and hope lately. Where do I find comfort? What brings me hope? And the truths of my answers have been tested. I might say that I trust the Shepherd, that I believe in prayer, that His Word is my light and guide, that Jesus is my hope – but it’s not until I’m walking in the shadows, surrounded by enemies, that the truth of my heart is revealed.
Where we Turn
When the shadows fall, the enemies surround, the world turns against us, nothing works out, and everything goes out of whack – our relationships, our health, our work – it is natural for us to look for comfort. We want something that will make us feel better. We want something that will calm us down when we are frenzied and anxious, or energize us when we are down and depressed. We want something to repair our soul when it feels bruised and beaten, to take away the pain that we feel in our minds and bodies.
But, more often than not, it is not to our Shepherd that we turn first, is it? Instead, there are many other places we go for comfort. We turn to money, possessions, riches, luxury, financial security. We figure that if we have enough money or stuff, then we’ll feel better. If we get the nicer phone, nicer car, nicer tv, nicer food, nicer vacation, nicer tools, nicer house, that we will feel better. And that’s what ads sell us – buy this and feel better about yourself, your relationships, your future, your past, your present. We think that if we get enough piles of money then nothing can hurt us. Banks try to sell us that. Financial security equals comfort.
Or we turn to exercise and medicine. We work on our bodies, eat right, exercise, drink lots of water, take vitamins, go to the doctor to get pills to balance our hormones and body chemicals, thinking that if we can be super healthy and perfectly juiced, then we will no longer have fears or pain. We will be strong enough to fight off sickness and enemies, we will be beautiful and therefore popular, we will be able to run away from danger or save people we love, and most of all, we will live forever. Pursuing bodily health isn’t bad, but the motives behind it aren’t always good – sometimes it’s driven by fear and the desire for more comfort than it can provide.
Some people turn to stubbornness and control. Psalm 2:1-3 says,
“Why do the nations rage and the peoples plot in vain? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD and against his Anointed, saying, ‘Let us burst their bonds apart and cast away their cords from us.’”
They think that controlling all aspects of their life, and everyone else’s, will bring them comfort. All they need is the perfect plan, the perfect calendar, the perfect to do list, and for everyone to simply do everything they are told, and then everyone will be happy. If we write enough laws and rules everyone will be content. If we buckle down hard enough, dig in our heels hard enough, grit our teeth hard enough, then we can take control of our world and bend it to our wills, and then we will all find peace. It’s a lie we tell ourselves all the time.
Some turn to other people as their source of comfort. They believe that politicians, scientists, religious gurus, celebrities, their spouse, their kids, their friends, or their community group is going to save them. Those people are all they talk about, and their entire hope is in them and their plans. And when they inevitably fall, it’s utterly devastating – but instead of learning from their mistake, they simply find another flawed human being to put their hopes in. These people, no matter how bright they are, aren’t solid foundations, but are as Jude 12-13 says,
“These are hidden reefs… shepherds feeding themselves; waterless clouds, swept along by winds; fruitless trees in late autumn, twice dead, uprooted; wild waves of the sea, casting up the foam of their own shame; wandering stars, for whom the gloom of utter darkness has been reserved forever.”
Others turn to worldly pleasure, distractions, entertainment, food, pornography, drunkenness, and drugs. Life is hard, everything is out of control, our emotions are a mess, our thinking isn’t helping, and there is no way to fix any of it – so why bother? Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die. Our culture is built on this concept and it’s destroying the foundations of our society. We are literally entertaining and distracting ourselves to death. Pharmaceutical companies sell pills that have nothing to do with health, but simply treat bad feelings. Stores have more entertainment food than actual food. While teens die of fentanyl overdoses and the media declares an opioid crisis, the Canadian government legalizes marijuana so that more people can get high. Our culture is obsessed with non-marital, no-commitment, purely animalistic sex – even though sexually transmitted diseases are growing in record numbers. And they’ve created phone apps to assist their hook-up culture to be more efficient. And the government has made sure that there are no laws against abortion so that no one accidentally has a baby and a family as a consequence.
Our modern, Canadian, culture is built on the concept of “Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die” and it’s destroying our bodies and our souls.
Our Only Comfort
The first two questions of The Heidelberg Catechism address this very issue – the issue of comfort. They are a summary of the rest of the catechism and start with the most important question: “What is your only comfort in life and death?” Christian, what do you turn to when you face the valley of the shadow of death, when you surrounded by enemies? Christian, what do you hold as the source of your greatest hope, knowing everything else is going to let you down, your celebrities, your chemicals, your doctor, your exercise, your body, your friends, your riches, your security, is all going to fall apart – so what is the one comfort, the one thing that won’t fall apart in this world or the next? What comfort will give you an anchor through all the storms of this life and never leave you, even after you die? What thought, what truth, can you build the entire foundation of your life on that will never shift, shake or move?
“That I am not my own, but belong with body and soul, both in life and in death, to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood, and has set me free from all the power of the devil. He also preserves me in such a way that without the will of my heavenly Father not a hair can fall from my head; indeed, all things must work together for my salvation. Therefore, by his Holy Spirit he also assures me of eternal life and makes me heartily willing and ready from now on to live for him.”
Though this is not a quote from the Bible, each line is very biblical, and you can see some of the verses in the footnotes I provided on your handout. It breaks down into four great comforts.
I Am Not My Own
Perhaps the worst feeling we can have is loneliness. We can go through a lot of difficult things if we know that someone has our back. We can face injustice and fear, insurmountable odds, and terrible dangers, if we know someone is on our side. But when we feel alone, our strength fades quickly. A Christian’s first comfort is that we are not our own, but belong to someone – to Jesus.
1 Corinthians 6:19-10 says, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.”
Titus 2:13-14 says, “…our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession…”
The word “redeemed” means “to be bought back”. We were slaves to sin, slaves to Satan, captured and enslaved by death, and Jesus loved us so much that He bought us from our slave owners at a great price. He traded Himself for us so that we could be His.
A Christians’ comfort comes from the knowledge that we are not our own, we are not alone, Jesus bought us because He wants us to be with Him. God is not against us, God is for us, because we belong to Him. So He does for us what we would do if we bought something precious. We would clean it up, protect it, cherish it, display it so others can see it, and use it as a way to show off.
That’s what Jesus does with us. He takes our spiritually dead body out of the muck of sin, restores us to life, cleans us up, gives us new clothes, new armour, and then helps us to become something that He uses to show His glory off. When people look at us they think, “Wow, that person is so different! They know Jesus and look at them! Jesus must really be someone special!”
Payment for Sin
Our second comfort comes in that our sins are perfectly and totally forgiven. Not some, not most, not just the past ones – all of our sins forever were placed on Jesus as He hung on the cross and took the wrath of God against them. 1 John 2:1-2 says,
“My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.”
Propitiation means “the removal of wrath by the offering of a gift”. To do wrong, to break the law, means to incur judgement and wrath. The only thing that appeases the wrath of God our Judge against for the wrong we’ve done is punishment and death. Romans 6:23 says “the wages of sin is death”. Jesus offered Himself to pay that wage so we wouldn’t have to. He substituted Himself for us. He assumed our obligations and all the wrath God had against sin was poured out on Him instead of us. And therefore all our sins are dealt with. Martin Luther called it “The Great Exchange”.
Therefore, when we think that God is punishing us is wrong. To believe we need more punishment is to take away from what Jesus did on the cross. To try to punish others for their wrong is to say that Jesus didn’t suffer enough. To think that God is holding our sins against us is to say that God didn’t accept Jesus’ sacrifice. To try to impress God with good works or religion is to say that what Jesus did in His life and on the cross wasn’t good enough.
One of our greatest comforts, especially when Satan is telling us that God hates us, that He’ll never restore us, that He has had enough of us, is to remember that our sins are fully paid for by Jesus – all of them – and we have been set free. There is no longer anything separating us from God, and nothing we must do in order to make ourselves worthy of it, and anyone who says differently is a liar. All that must be done is to accept Jesus’ sacrifice on your behalf. He has done everything necessary for our salvation and there is nothing standing between you and God’s forgiveness except yourself, your pride, and your false notions.
Our third comfort comes in that we are protected, or preserved.
2 Thessalonians 3:3 says, “But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.”
And Romans 8:28, when talking about the trials of life says, “…we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Psalm 18 begins, “I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.”
So, we are not our own, we were bought with a price by the blood of Jesus, and therefore He is the one who preserves and protects us. He is God and that means that everything that happens, whether we think it’s good or bad or otherwise, happens because He allows it to happen – and there is nothing that anyone can do that is beyond His control.
We read stories like Joseph being sold into slavery and put in prison, or Daniel being set up by his enemies and thrown into a lion’s den, or Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refusing to bow to an idol and then thrown into a fiery furnace, all the difficulty and pain Paul faced on his missionary journeys, and of course all the sorrow and rejection Jesus faced – and we are reminded that even though things get very difficult, everything happened for a reason and brought fruit for God’s people to bring God more glory.
God has the power to preserve us from any danger that will come – the power to get us through any trial that we are currently facing – and the power to turn even the worst parts of our lives into victories for Him. There are so many stories of people who go through hard times or have been in really bad places, but realize after they turn to God and start to trust Him, that He used it all for so much good. There is great comfort knowing that everything that happens to us will be used by God to help us grow stronger, more faithful, to grow His Kingdom, and to bring Him glory. No valley, no matter how dark – no enemy, no matter how strong – will not be overcome, turned into light, and used by God if we trust Him with it.
And the fourth comfort we see in question one is our assurance.
2 Corinthians 1:20-22 says, “For all the promises of God find their Yes in him [that is Jesus]. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory. And it is God who establishes us with you in Christ, and has anointed us, and who has also put his seal on us and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee.”
Since our salvation is not something we can buy or get by good deeds, it is therefore not something we can lose. Since Jesus establishes it, it is firmly established and unable to move. On the cross Jesus said, “It is finished!” (Jn 19:30) on the cross and is called the “Amen” in Rev 3:14. Here we see that our salvation is an “Amen” too, an “it is so”, a total completion. We are anointed, sealed, and guaranteed, not by our own actions or our own strength – but by the Spirit of God. There is no way we can lose our salvation, no way God will turn His back on us, no one that can ever take it from us, and nothing we can do to remove ourselves from His hand. I recommend you read Romans 8 for more about this.
This is where our eternal comfort lies – in that Jesus loves us, died for us, protects and preserves us, uses everything to help us, and will never, ever, ever leave us, even unto death.
Nothing we try, and no one else, can or will give us that kind of comfort. There is no amount of money that gives us that kind of hope, no chemical that gives that kind of joy, no human being that gives us that kind of promise, which is why Christians turn to Jesus. He is the only and best comfort in life and in death.
Guilt, Grace and Gratitude
And now look at question 2: “What do you need to know in order to live and die in the joy of this comfort?” How do I get access to this type of assurance, this hope, this comfort? The answer is a summary of the rest of the catechism. Some have broken it up into 3 simple words that you need to know: Guilt, Grace, and Gratitude. What must I know?
“First, how great my sins and misery are; second, how I am delivered from all my sins and misery; third, how I am to be thankful to God for such deliverance.”
This is what we’re going to be talking about for the next year or so. First, we must understand our guilt. The Bible says that “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6) If we think we are going the right way, we’ll never ask for directions. If we think we’re healthy, we’ll never ask for a doctor. We will not ask for forgiveness unless we know we are guilty. We need to realize how deep our sin problem really is.
Once we confess ourselves a miserable sinner, we then need to know how to be delivered from those sins. The simple answer, as I’ve been saying, is to confess your sins to Jesus and to believe that He died for your sins and rose again to prove He has conquered them. There’s a lot to know about that – and we’ll cover it in the coming months – but that simple truth is where everything starts. Will you admit that you are a sinner and trust that Jesus did everything to pay for your sins so that the wrath of God against you could be appeased?
And third, once we have realized our guilt and accepted forgiveness, the natural thing to do is to give thanks. Such an awesome truth should change our lives. Every kindness we receive deserves gratitude, right? Someone does something nice, we feel like we want to say thank you and do something nice back. If we go to the doctor, we pay for his services. So, even though we’ll never be able to pay Jesus back, how much more should our lives be changed by the knowledge of our salvation. We were headed to an eternity in Hell, now we are invited to an eternity with God. Our response should be a godly life of thanksgiving that honours Him, right?
This is what we’ll be talking about over the next while – the problem of sin, the solution to the problem in Jesus, and how our lives should change as a result.
Thanks for taking the time to give this a listen and I want you to notice that I (finally) turned on the comments section for these posts! Check it out below. I’m looking for some feedback about this podcast and would love to hear what you think of them.
Pilgrim’s Progress: https://www.desiringgod.org/books/the-pilgrim-s-progress
“‘All things are lawful for me,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be dominated by anything. ‘Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food’—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh.’ But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
(1 Corinthians 6:12-20)
I want you to think back to the context of these verses, to those to whom they were originally written – the Christian church in Corinth. We sometimes think that the Bible is too old to be applicable to modern life, but we are so wrong! Recall the reputation of the city they were in and realize how similar it is to our current context.
Corinth was one of the bigger, more important cities of its day and was full to the brim with trade, politics, money, and religion. It was someone mixed modern inner-city life and the worst parts of the internet together. It was urban, materialistic, and overcrowded with every sort of person from every walk of life – intellectual elites, religious fanatics, celebrities, government workers, hard-core businessmen and poor, uneducated street people. It was the capital of the province, a port with hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world and one of the most influential commercial and manufacturing centers in the world. It was incredibly similar to Ottawa or downtown Toronto.
Everyone in town was committed to some form of religion and most were represented by the many places of worship around the city. They had temples like Ottawa has Tim Hortons. But the temples weren’t churches like you and I think of. They were like a mix of night clubs, museums, live concerts and brothels.
Sailors, tradesmen and people of all kinds would come to Corinth for business and then go to “worship” at one of these temples – the most famous of which was the Temple of Aphrodite, the goddess of love, beauty, pleasure and procreation. She was literally the goddess of erotica and to worship at her temple was to see pornography come to life. Thousands of girls were kept there as sacred sex workers who would parade themselves before crowds of men so they could choose among them, pay their way (or not), and have sex as an act of worship. One ancient writer (Herodotus) wrote that every female in the city had to take their turn in the temple, whether they wanted to or not. In the centre of town was the Temple of Apollo which glorified sex too. Not with women, but with men and boys.
Today, if you want to see something pornographic, profane, illegal, or disgusting, you can lock yourself in a dark room and find it on the internet. If you want to live it out, then you have to risk making illicit connections online, but in Corinth it was simply all around you. The city was a monument to the fulfilment of any kind of appetite you might have, no matter how immoral. If you wanted the thrill of murdering someone, you could buy a slave. If you desired financial gain or political power, you had every opportunity. There was almost no kind of sexual perversion you could not try, legally. No matter what turned you on, sex, drugs, cults, war, politics, everything – it was there.
It was to this town that the Apostle Paul journeyed to and planted a church in. He felt such a strong connection to the people of this city that he spent a year and a half there – an uncharacteristically long time.
God was absolutely at work among the Corinthians. People were giving up their old, pagan, addicted, messed-up lives and turning to Jesus for cleansing and forgiveness. The utter selfishness and individuality of their former lives was overtaken by a love for each other and a desire to serve. They no longer feared the petty, ever-changing gods, or tried to manipulate them with rituals, but now had a relationship with the One, True God who they knew loved them so much that He was willing to send His Son Jesus to save them. They had become a Christian church. Paul spent months teaching them from the scriptures, preaching and teaching inside and outside the church, and defending the Christians before the government and other opposing groups. Then, before he moved on, he appointed and trained elders to carry on the work of ministry there.
After he left, cracks started to form in the leadership and among the believers. False teachers came in and taught false gospels. Unsaved people from the local temples, working for Satan, started to gain influence in the church and sow discord among the people and tempt them towards their old lives.
Paul obviously didn’t have email, but even while he was hundreds of miles away in Ephesus he was starting to get reports of some of the things going on in Corinth and it was quite unsettling. He wrote them a letter, which we don’t have, addressing some of these concerns, but it clearly didn’t work. Shortly after they received the first letter a couple contingents of people came from Corinth to track down the Apostle, tell him what was happening, and ask some very specific questions. He couldn’t leave the Ephesian church at the time so he wrote a second letter addressing the issues and answering the questions.
We’ve been through part of this letter already, which we call 1st Corinthians, and we are coming up to Chapter 7 which starts the “now concerning” part, where Paul directly answers the Corinthian questions, but before this, he addresses some of the biggest issues he’s heard about through the grapevine.
Things like them not getting along, accepting sexual immorality, rejecting the authority of the Apostles, listening to false teachers, self-deception, sinful living, and changing the word of God and the Gospel of Jesus Christ to fit better with their culture – all things we are still very much dealing with today.
Out of Control Appetites
In our passage today we see the Apostle Paul addressing some of the root issues of what is causing the church such trouble – and if I had to pick one phrase to summarize it, it would be “Out of Control Appetites”.
Do you see the quotes around the first parts of verses 12 and 13? These are the excuses that the Corinthians were giving for their behaviour. They had strong appetites, fed and encouraged by their local culture, and instead of following the Apostles’ teaching, God’s Word, or the conviction of the Holy Spirit within them, they were trying to justify and excuse their behaviour.
We do the same thing. We have strong desires within us, natural and learned appetites that are constantly with us, nagging our mind and trying to steer our lives. Many of these appetites are biological. We have needs: air, food, water, shelter, sleep, and going to the bathroom, and when we don’t have access those things our bodies cry out for them, even causing us physical pain, until we give them what they want. Some of these appetites are not needs, per say (as in we wouldn’t die without them), but they are very strong. We have a natural appetite, or desire for safety, health, love, family, and sexual intimacy. And these appetites go further into our feelings. We want to feel confident, respected, meaningful, moral, accepted, and to know the truth.
None of these needs is wrong. God has designed us, from the very beginning, to have these needs – and they were designed to be perfectly fulfilled by being in relationship with Him and each other.
But when sin came into the world at the fall it corrupted everything, including our appetites. Now, instead of wanting enough food to survive and enjoy, we turn gluttonous, eating so much we make our bodies sick. We take sugar cane and beets, strip them of their “food” and turn them into pure sugar, and then pour that into things we swirl with caffeine, alcohol, and hyped up fats and salts.
Instead of sleeping enough to rest from our work, we now run away from work and our out of control appetite turns us into sluggards who sleep more than we should, inventing more and more devices to remove work and allow for rest.
We have a desire for safety, but now we create borders, barbed-wire fences, and bombs to keep danger away. Our insane pursuit of safety fills us with prejudice and turns us into racists. We become helicopter parents who won’t let our kids out of our site and spend staggering amounts of money on insurance and things to make us feel safe.
We want love, family, and acceptance, but our sin and selfishness cause us to reject and hurt those who are closest to us, creating family splits, divorce, fatherlessness, and runaways. Our out of control appetite to feel accepted causes us to turn from those who were supposed to care for us and seek the acceptance of others. We join gangs, cults, and clubs, giving away huge parts of ourselves in order to feel accepted by someone.
And this same thing has happened with sexual intimacy. God created the beauty of sex to be most fully enjoyed between a man and women in the committed bonds of marriage. Anything outside of this is, by God’s definition, harmful. But the appetite within us is strong, and, like in ancient Corinth, our culture has made us believe that the fulfillment of this appetite is the most important thing in the world, making it available everywhere. They have placed sexual experience at the same level as breathing air or drinking water.
And so, as this appetite grows within us, we seek to quench it. God invites us to turn our appetite over to Him and to seek fulfillment His way, but that requires sacrifice, self-control, mutual respect, the giving of oneself, and patience. But the appetite grows and everyone else tells us to listen to it.
To do this is like to try to go on a diet while living at an all-you-can-eat buffet. We exist live in a buffet of sexual options – from the prostitutes on the streets to the movies we watch, the mall we shop in to the games we play, the ads on TV and websites to the popular books we are told to read, the enticement to sin sexually is literally everywhere. And the appetite grows. It’s like taking little bites of sugar everywhere we go – even without wanting to.
As a Christian, we know we have been delivered from sin and we hate the effects of it. The Word of God teaches against it. Our Christian elders and friends give warning. And the Holy Spirit inside of us is warning our conscience. But with the inundation of options all around us, the internet at home and in our pockets, and everyone in our culture cheering us on to express ourselves, live out our freedom, and trust our appetites to guide us to happiness.
And so we relent. Canada has completely relented to the idea that our appetites will guide us to happiness, and we have a completely messed up culture as a result. Did you know that biggest website in the world streamed 92 billion videos totally 4.6 billion hours of porn – just in 2016? Almost every adolescent boy and girl today has been exposed to explicit pornographic content – and this isn’t naked pictures – we’re talking about high definition and stylized videos of incest, violence and rape, of which 88% of porn videos include. Most have no blockers on their home or devices. And over a third of people my age and younger watch porn to educate themselves so they can mimic it with their partners. Pornography use is rampant at every age, not just young adults. This isn’t merely a male issue. A third of young women (25 and under) and a quarter of older women go looking at least once per month.
Two new things that are being reported recently as a result of continued porn use is what they are calling “sexual anorexia” which is basically a total loss of desire for romantic-sexual interactions with other people, and “porn-induced erectile dysfunction” meaning that even when with a partner they simply can’t get aroused by a real-live girl anymore. Porn use increases the chance of cheating on your spouse by 300%.
The slide of the out of control sexual appetite doesn’t have an end. There is never going to be enough because, like a potent drug, it causes major chemical dependency in the brain. And the appetite for sexual sin only gets darker and more evil. It doesn’t just stay at romantic novels or underwear models, but grows stronger until normal sex isn’t enough – then strange sex isn’t enough – then violent, abusive sex isn’t enough – and then merely watching isn’t enough, you want to act out what you have been watching.
And it barely even twinges the conscience anymore because you have now rewired your brain to consider the perverse, dangerous, and violent images you have been watching to be “normal”. Girls no longer know what modesty, love and romance looks or feels like. Boys have no idea how to respect, woo or patiently love just one girl. Now they believe in the fantasy world that pornography has fed them – and they want to live it out. Maybe you have done the same in your own life as you try to fit the person you are attracted to into a pornographic fantasy, or grow disappointed as the real person doesn’t perform like the person on screen. The real person is way less interesting than the fantasy. That’s an insanely confused version of sex designed by Satan to destroy you.
But this isn’t just about the epidemic of pornography and what we do when we are alone, but all that this out of control sexual appetite creates in our minds, hearts, families, churches and societies. It destroys intimacy and closeness. Friendship is ruined because everything is about sex. Superficiality and total selfishness is rampant. People don’t give themselves to each other, they use each other. Sexual sin is a massive force for harm.
What happens when you take the individual consequences of an out of control sexual appetite and multiply it by the size of a church, a city, a country, or the world? Not just you seeking out selfish ways to use people for your own appetites, but also those around you, and far beyond.
Pornography users have a lot of misinformation that gives them an excuse to come back. For example: It’s free so I don’t pay for it, so I’m not contributing to the bad parts. That’s not true. These sites get money for every click, whether you buy or not. That’s why it’s free. There are dozens of ways to make money of people that come to your website and around. Yes, you are generating income for these companies, allowing them to stay in business.
Another thing people say is that these women are well paid and look like they are enjoying it. The women are some of the most beautiful in the world – they could do anything — no one is making them do this. In truth, many of the women in pornography come from abusive homes and were often sexually abused as children. Some of them are victims of human trafficking who have been told to look good or they will be hurt or killed. Some got into the business after being recruited in their first year of college with the promise of lots of money and a thrilling lifestyle, but many tell the story of how no matter what they did the company wanted them to do more and more grotesque things. They had spent the money already and needed more, so they quell the shame and pain inside them with alcohol and drugs. Especially when people on their campus or family members see their pictures and videos. Some have committed suicide because of the shame and fear they have felt.
When they do want out, they can’t put any of this onto a resume so it has gaps and their professional reputation is shot. Whatever their career was – teacher, nurse, scientist – is ruined because of pornography. So they only have one place to turn – the porn industry. This industry promotes only the youngest women, so as they get older the only way to stay employed is to do more and more disgusting things, perpetuating the shame and fear and trapping them in the industry further. And then they are sent out to do interviews and trade fairs to tell everyone how happy they are. And that’s not even covering the massive psychological and spiritual damage done. Every time someone reads, clicks, or watches, they perpetuating this abusive industry.
But the damage of an out of control sexual appetite doesn’t end with the individual. Then we get the societal consequences like the spread of sexually transmitted diseases which over 70 percent of sexually active Canadians have. There’s the evil of sex trafficking, which is the kidnaping and sale of people for the purposes of prostituting them, and it is growing, funded and supported by the multi-billion dollar porn industry. We see the sexualisation of younger and younger people and the rise of child exploitation, pornography, and child sex rings. And of course we have the holocaust of the millions of abortions in North America lone which have nothing to do with the health of the child or the mother, but simply are the result of people who want the pleasure of sex without the consequences or responsibility of parenthood. Rape culture, divorce, fatherlessness… and I could go on.
Consider that when an industry or company is connected to terrible things like child-labour or environmental destruction most people freak out and refuse to buy from that store or support that industry. Why not this one? Because it’s an out of control appetite that the world supports without question. Just this week they tried to fly the Walk for Life flag down at Ottawa city hall and it was pulled down within hours. Just FYI, the Mayor had the LGBT Pride flag fly for the entirety of the Sochi Olympics. Why the difference? Different appetites.
The Gospel is the Answer
Verse 12 gives their first excuses, “All things are lawful for me…” they say. Here we see them throwing Paul’s words back in his face. He had come and taught them that people are not saved by religion, nor obedience to a set of laws, but are instead set free from having to follow a bunch of rules by the grace of God.
Every other religion said you have to do certain things to appease the gods. Give money, make war, pray for hours, reach ecstasies, gives sacrifices, spill your own blood, do good deeds, even horrible things like burn children to death. Only these things would make the gods do what you want them to do.
But the God of the Bible says we can never do enough to impress or please Him. There will never be enough good deeds to outweigh our sins. Instead, God sent Jesus to live a perfect life, doing exactly what God wanted, so He could take God’s wrath against sin in exchange for anyone who would believe in him. This freed us from the bonds of man-made religious laws that only served to manipulate us and make us feel either guilty or prideful.
And so they say to Paul, “But you said that since we’re Christians we don’t have to obey any laws! We can do whatever we want! We have freedom in Christ! You said God accepts us as we are and will never reject us no matter how much we mess up! And you said that we don’t need to follow any of the Jewish Laws either because we are under the new covenant. So we’re doing that!”
And Paul says, “Yes, you are free in Christ, but not everything is helpful. Yes, you are free in Christ, but these you are doing aren’t bringing you more freedom – they are dominating you. You are no longer free when you do these things, you are making yourself a slave again. ” You see that?
The Emptiness Trap
When we turn away from God’s design for our lives we will feel empty. That emptiness will create an appetite that will eventually become all consuming. We will gorge ourselves on all manner of things trying to fill that emptiness, to satisfy that appetite that can only be satisfied by being in a right relationship with God and others.
This is the trap. We feel God’s way is too constricting, too hard. Satan offers to satiate that appetite an easier way – through violence, gluttony, sexual sin, stealing – and it works for a moment, but what happens is that appetite grows. And as a Christian, after we have succumbed to temptation, we realize we have grieved the Holy Spirit, ruined our reputation, lost our reward, invited God’s discipline, made innocent people suffer for our selfishness, tainted our ministry and testimony, left a stumbling stone for those who would follow us… and that shame can either cause us to fall before God and ask for forgiveness and restoration – which He will give… or will drive us away from God, separating us from Him further, and our church, and our friends, and His Word, and His voice… causing our appetites to grow and grow because now we feel truly terrible.
Which, again, either causes us to turn to God or, in many cases, cause us to not want to feel anything. When we feel empty we’re willing to try anything – and when that doesn’t work we try hard not to feel anything. So we self-medicate, fall into destructive behaviours, and our life falls apart.
Maybe you’re not all the way down this road, but I promise, this is where unconfessed, unforgiven sin leads. To a destroyed, corrupt, hard, and calloused heart that refuses to feel.
The remedy is the Gospel. The Bible says we need to realize that we were not designed merely to fill our appetites. “‘Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food’—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power.” Our body, our lives, are not given to us merely to pursue our own pleasures, but for God. Colossians 1:16 says that all things were created through Jesus and for Jesus, and that includes us. We will only find true fulfillment, joy, and peace when we realize that they are not found by us though this world – but in Him.
Verses 15-18 talk about the invisible, emotional and spiritual dangers of sexual sin, but we’ve covered a lot of that already.
The way we escape these out of control appetites is in verses 19-20 which say, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
This is the gospel condensed. We gave our bodies to sin and became salves to sin, but Jesus bought us back at a great price. We celebrate it every month at communion – that He gave His body and shed His blood in exchange for ours. He saves us to Himself. He makes us born again so we can live forever. He cleans us up so we can be temples of His Holy Spirit. But this was at the price of His life, freely given for all who would believe.
Our response to that amazing grace is threefold:
First, we need to acknowledge our sin and the danger of it. Sin isn’t fun or funny. It isn’t little. It creates spiritual death, no matter how small we think it is, and it’s destructive power is incredible. So we acknowledge that we are sinners, that we hate sin, repent from it, and ask God’s forgiveness of it by the blood of Jesus Christ.
Second, we accept that forgiveness and believe that we have been cleaned. It’s not because of any feeling we have or a tingle in our spine, but because of the agreement that God made with us because of the covenant of the blood of Jesus. If you repent and believe, you will be saved. If you ask forgiveness in His name, you will be forgiven. And from that point on we live as Christians. The Holy Spirit takes residence in our hearts and speaks to us in words that cannot be expressed.
And third, we glorify God in our body. In other words, we no longer live for ourselves, but trust that Jesus’ way is better. He is our Saviour and our Lord. When He says something is good, it is good. When He says something is dangerous, we avoid it. When He says go, we go. When He says stop, we stop. Jesus redeemed us, bought us back from death and Hell, so our bodies are no longer ours. They are His. And He can do with them as He pleases.
It is to this we appeal when we are tempted, when we face sin, and when our appetites get out of control.
We pray: “Jesus, this is sin and I know you hate it, and therefore I do too, and I want to avoid it. I accept that this has no more place in my life because I am yours. Help me to flee temptation as you taught me to pray. And Jesus, my body is yours. My mind, heart, and soul too. Do with them as You will. You gave me these appetites, so help me fulfil them your way, so you get the glory and I can experience more of you.”
Why Canada Needs ARPA (Special Guest: Andre Schutten of the Association for Reformed Political Action) (Carnivore Theology: Ep. 81)
We talk politics, porn, education, abortion, families, Trinity Western, and more as we get politically active with ARPA’s Andre Schutten.
Here’s the link to the Abortion Episodes with Mike Schouten we promised:
How Can You Help Carnivore Theology?
1. Pray for us!
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5. Buy some cool stuff from our new Merch Store! (And check out our friend Kim’s amazing art while you’re there!)
Handout / Small Group Questions:
I need you to do a little, mental legwork this morning and recall the last few sermons, because, in truth, they along with today’s is really altogether one sermon. Part of me longs for the days when preachers would be expected to preach for more than an hour at a time, and then got another crack at the topic during the evening service. But, sadly, those days are gone and I’m not a good enough speaker to hold your attention for that long anyway – so we make due.
It’s been a challenge for me to address the beginning of 1 Corinthians 5, and the topic of human sexuality, in a comprehensive manner, because I felt we needed a good introduction to the topic before jumping in. However, leaving weeks in between sermons has its disadvantages in that it’s easy to forget what was already said.
A couple weeks ago I gave the introduction to the sermon as I spoke on Jesus’ response to the Woman Caught in Adultery and the importance of remembering that Jesus amazingly gracious and loving toward those who have broken His law, even with repeated instances of sexual sin. Last week I gave the middle of the sermon as I moved from the forgiveness found in Jesus to the reminder that even though God is gracious, He does have a standard by which He expects humanity to live. Jesus didn’t come to let anyone do whatever they want as long as no one gets hurt, but to save us from our sins and help us live His way instead. We ended last week by making a transition from the introduction to the main topic by talking about the Greek word PORNEIA, the “junk drawer” word used to describe all forms of sexual sin that fall outside of God’s design for humanity.
And now, building off of all that, we move into a bit more meat on the topic, building a theology of human sexuality, based on what God expects of us. It would be easier (and more fun) for me to go on a diatribe against all the ways we get this wrong but that would be forgetting what I said at first; we need to know the authentic article before we can understand the counterfeit. So that’s what I want to do today. Look at the biblical view of human sexuality.
The Big Deal of Sexual Sin
So, why is sexual sin such a big deal? Is it because it’s so damaging and destructive to humanity? Is it the danger of addiction, disease or ruined relationships? Is it because the church is prudish and hates it when people have fun? You’ve probably heard that sexual sin is just like any other sin, that it’s no worse than any other, so why should we spend so much time talking about it… but actually, sexual sin does have a special category in scripture.
Let’s read 1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”
That puts sexual sin into a different category. But why, what makes sexual sin so special?
It comes down to God’s original design for humanity, and the huge importance of marriage in the Bible – the physical union of two people that represents a spiritual union, which in turn, represents a picture of Jesus’ relationship to His church. That’s a big concept, isn’t it?
Let’s take it apart.
We’ll start with the context of the verse we just read. Start at verse 13:
“The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh.’ But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
A Mystical Union
First, I want you to notice the interplay between the physical and the spiritual nature of sex. In verse 1 we see “The body”, which is physical. When the Lord saves us, it’s not just a spiritual salvation, but a renewal of our whole being – emotional, spiritual and physical. He saves our heart, soul, mind and strength. Jesus’ death, burial and resurrection demonstrated that after we die, we won’t live in eternity as spiritual beings, but with resurrected, perfect, physical bodies like Jesus had. Therefore, when we get saved we don’t merely turn our hearts over to the Lordship of Jesus, but our bodies as well.
But then it goes deeper in verse 15 and moves from the physical to the spiritual. Our physical bodies, which it says later are similar to the physical “temple of the Holy Spirit”, are also connected spiritually to Jesus. Our bodies are “members of Christ”. Elsewhere, as in Ephesians 4, 1 Corinthians 12, and Romans 12, Christians are called the “Body of Christ”, basically meaning we are, as individuals and as a church, the eyes, hands, and feet of Jesus in this world. We are, in a real sense, the physical manifestation of the Word of God in this world. Most often, when God wants to do something, He doesn’t do it with a mighty miracle but instead works through the people of His church. It’s just as miraculous, but far more subtle. To be “members of Christ” means we are both spiritually and physically united with Jesus in a very real, very intimate way.
And so, it says, how horrible it would be, how out of place, how ruinous, that someone who’s body is united to Jesus, would unite their body with a prostitute’s? “Never!” Paul shouts!
Two Become One
In verse 16 the argument is made against sexual sin this way: “Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh.’ But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.” Our worship of God, the Lordship of Christ, His relationship to the church, and our salvation is all tied to the picture of human marriage and sexuality. You’ll notice that the words “The two will become one flesh” is written is quotes. That’s because it’s a quote from Genesis 2:24. Let’s read the whole of the context there:
“Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’ Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” (Gen 2:18-25)
This is the first marriage and is the perfect picture of how humanity was intended to exist. Man was created by God and designed to be incomplete without woman. Adam stood in the perfection of creation, in the presence of God, and was incomplete. God showed Adam every animal He had created, lions, bears, dogs, cats, and among them none were found that were a proper helper. And after that great parade, Adam knew it too. I wonder if he, standing in Eden, had then felt a sense of lack; that something was missing.
And so God made for Adam a complement, a helper, a being who would be his equal in dignity and worth. Not another animal, but one like Him – but not exactly like him. Not a copy, but a partner, a companion. Notice how God phrases it, “I will make helper fit for him.” The word “helper” does not imply weaker or stronger. And “fit for him”, doesn’t mean “like him”, but “matching him”, like to opposing puzzle pieces. God didn’t make a clone, but a compliment.
In chapter 1:27 it says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” It required both man and woman to represent God’s image. It even uses the words “male” and “female” not “man” and “woman”, to express the importance of the difference found in both genders.
They, together, as a complimenting pair, would be united spiritually to God and spiritually to one another. And in their sexual union before God, one “fitting” the other, would be the pattern for all human sexual relationships, taking them from two separate beings and creating “one flesh”. From that point on, as physical and spiritual images of God, humans were to grow up, leave their parents, bind themselves to a spouse, and form an exclusive, covenanted, sexual union.
God as Husband, Church as Bride
Let’s take a moment to explore theme that because it’s important. The picture of marriage in scripture is always an exclusive covenant. Why? Because it’s an image of God’s relationship with us.
All through scripture, God’s relationship with His people is framed as the image of a husband and wife. God and Jesus are both represented as husbands and believers as the bride. It’s one of the most important ways that God has given us to understand his relationship with us – which is why, when people start messing with marriage, human sexuality, or gender, it is such a huge problem!
Marriage isn’t something humans came up with to express their love for one another. It’s not a cultural creation meant to celebrate mutual affection and legally unite two people’s finances and tax situation. Marriage was given to us by God as one of the main images by which we would understand how He feels about us, deals with us, and commits to us.
Check out how God speaks to His people in these passages:
- “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name…” (Isa 54:5)
- “…as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.” (Isa 62:5),
- “I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy.” (Hos 2:19)
- Jesus calls himself a “bridegroom” multiple times (Matthew 9:15; 22:25; John 3:29), and at the very end of the Bible, when Jesus comes again, it says there will be the great “marriage supper of the Lamb” where God presides over a grand wedding and the bride of Christ (the church) presents herself in clothes of “fine linen, bright and pure”. (Revelation 19:6-9)
The love a man has for His wife is only a pale imitation of God’s love for His people. The protective emotions he feels for her, the concern he has for losing her, the betrayal he feels when she cheats on him, the pain he feels when she suffers, the desire to make her life better, to provide for her, to encourage her, to please her, to see her smile, the jealousy he feels, wanting her all to himself; these powerful, overwhelming, primal feelings, are all merely tiny glimpses of how God feels about His people, how Jesus feels about the church.
This is most profoundly pictured in the Old Testament book of Hosea where God calls the prophet to do something very difficult to show the nation what He’s going through. It says in Hosea 1:2,
“When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea, ‘Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the Lord.’”
In other words, Hosea’s marriage was to be an image of God and His people.
Hosea goes and finds a prostitute named Gomer, takes her off the streets, marries her, and has three children with her. But, as predicted, Hosea’s wife cheats on him. She runs away, sells herself into prostitution again, and Hosea is forced to buy her back from her slave owner. After buying her back, he begs her to stay, “You must dwell as mine for many days. You shall not play the whore, or belong to another man; so will I also be to you.”
The narrative story is interspersed among prophecies from God, showing His anger, pain, frustration, sadness… but also His desire to get His bride back at any cost! He declares that he has the right to divorce her, to write her off, forget about her and find a new bride, but He refuses to do that because they are married and He loves her! Yes, there would be a cost, and the bride would go through much suffering before it was over, but in the end there would be reconciliation and restoration! Not because she deserved it – far from – but because of the husband’s commitment to the marriage and the great love He has for her. He would do anything to win her back.
My favourite part of the book comes in Hosea 2:13-16. Let me read it to you.
“…I will punish her for the feast days of the Baals when she burned offerings to them and adorned herself with her ring and jewelry, and went after her lovers and forgot me, declares the LORD. Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt. And in that day, declares the LORD, you will call me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer will you call me ‘My Baal.’…”
There’s no one that can tear the heart out of someone chest like your spouse. The image of marriage here is one where not only does the wife cheat on him, but runs off for no reason and gives herself to man after man, wandering the streets in the most shameless and erotic clothes, partying with every disgusting, deplorable, degenerate man she could find, until she is ruinous to the point where she’s even forgotten her husband’s name. She gets herself in such trouble that she ends up like the prodigal son, except instead, she sells herself as a sexual slave.
And what is the husband’s response? To buy her back at whatever cost so she can be free from danger. And then, amazingly, to “allure her” meaning to re-seduce her, to win her back with romance so she will love Him again! To “speak kindly to her”, literally “speak to her heart”. To give her back her vineyards, and to make her “Valley of Achor”, which means “valley of trouble” into a such a distant memory that she sees it as the “door of hope”. He’s going to show her so much love that it will be like when they were newlyweds!
Why would He do this? Is He a sucker for punishment? Is He in some kind of weird, abusive, co-dependent relationship with humanity that He needs us in order to feel good, no matter how bad we treat Him? Sure, He loves us, but is that the only reason?
No. He does it because He has promised to. He made a covenant with us. He is in an exclusive, covenant, promised, marriage bond with His people, and He will never leave them, divorce them, forsake them, or abandon them. He loved us so much He was willing to trade His Son for us – His adulterous bride. But not only out of love. He redeemed us from slavery by the blood of Jesus because He promised He would always be there for His bride.
A Spiritual Picture
This is why the sacredness of marriage and human sexuality is so important to believers, and why corrupting it is such a big deal. Man and woman, male and female, in the holy, exclusive, covenant bond of marriage, show the image of God and paint a portrait of Jesus’ relationship to the church. It’s a very, very important illustration that God has given us.
When society messes with that image, it messes up the narrative of all that God is trying to teach us through it. God set it up the way He wanted and then made natural and scriptural laws to ensure it remained a strong image for humanity to look at for all time. This is why Christian theologians often argue that there is no such thing as same-sex marriage, polygamous or polyandrous marriage, group marriage, bigamous marriage, open marriage, or whatever else people come up with… because by definition a “marriage” is literally the “union of a man and woman for life”. It can’t be anything else because nothing else fits the description or image God created.
It is our sinful nature to try to improve upon, change, or personalize what God has already settled. We want to make ourselves the special case. We think our feelings, opinions, desires, emotions, or preclusions give us the right to negotiate different versions of what God has set up.
- “My marriage isn’t working out and I have feelings for another person, therefore I have the right to follow my feelings and marry someone else. I can’t be held accountable for how I feel.”
- “My spouse isn’t fulfilling my sexual desires, therefore I have the right to have them satisfied a different way. It’s their fault for not doing it, and God’s fault for not taking away these feelings.”
- “I have a strong biological urge to have sex, therefore I must follow through on that urge, regardless of who it is with. It’s not my fault I have these urges.”
Our feelings have very little to do with it because human sexuality is much bigger than our opinions or urges. God has given the gift of sex to be used one, singular way, because that is the way that gives Him the most glory, teaches us the most about Him, and helps us understand the way of salvation through the gospel of Jesus Christ. Messing with God’s plan for marriage and sex messes with God’s image and with the Gospel!
Over the past few weeks, we’ve been working through the book of Habakkuk. This short book captures a conversation that the Old Testament prophet Habakkuk had with God during a time of great trouble in his nation.
Everything around him was falling apart – the people were fighting one another, violence ruled the streets, and the judges and lawmakers were corrupt and wouldn’t deal with it. And when a good person finally did stand up, the bad ones would strike him down. If you’ve ever seen the new Batman movies, or watched Gotham on Netflix, then you know what Habakkuk was going through. Think of him as one of the worship leaders in one of the churches in a Gotham City without Batman.
But, instead of donning a black cowl, Habakkuk did what believers do, and starts to pray. His first prayer is a cry for help that contained a very important question: “Why?”. “Why do you make me see iniquity, and why do you look idly at wrong?” (1:3) God’s answer is that He has not been idle, and has been working out a much bigger plan than Habakkuk could conceive. God’s response is to give Habakkuk a vision of what’s going on, giving him a helicopter ride high above his problems, the city’s corruption, and even Israel’s massive issues. He gives the prophet a global view of what God’s been doing and will do next.
God’s been raising up the Chaldeans, who will later become the Babylonian Empire. God’s plan to deal with what all of what Habakkuk has been complaining about, is to have a powerful enemy rise up and swallow God’s people whole, destroying Jerusalem, and dragging them off into captivity.
This wasn’t exactly what Habakkuk had in mind when he had started praying, so he asks a follow-up question in verse 13: “You who are of purer eyes than to see evil and cannot look at wrong, why do you idly look at traitors and remain silent when the wicked swallows up the man more righteous than he?” In other words, “God, why would you use a more evil nation to punish the lesser wrongs of your own people? That doesn’t seem fair.”
God’s answer to that question comes in an intense section we call the “Woes against the Chaldeans”. His answer, in short, is that no one will be getting away with anything. All sin will be punished, justice will be done, and everyone will get what’s coming to them.
Habakkuk’s prayer started with, “How can you look at sin and not do anything?” And God’s answer is, “I am about to do something – but you’re not going to like it. I’m about to pour my wrath out against sin. That includes all the people you were complaining about in your nation and all those who come against you.” God would use the Chaldeans as a rod of discipline against His children so they would stop doing evil and come back to Him and His Law. And then after, God would turn His righteous wrath against all the wrongs of the Chaldeans. “Don’t worry, Habakkuk, the violence and sin will be dealt with, justice will be done, and no one will be getting away with anything.”
Covering these woes has been an intense experience for me – and I wonder if it has been for you too. Going through this section has been both convicting and difficult. It’s hard to talk about these topics sometimes, but it’s important that we don’t gloss over them in favour of seeking more pleasant topics. I think it is critically important that we come face to face with the sins that surround us and that are inside us or we will never feel the need to come to the Saviour. People who aren’t sick, or don’t know they’re sick, don’t seek out a doctor.
As we’ve been talking about these woes, we’ve covered some big topics. We talked about God’s hatred of sin and the extreme lengths He will go to do deal with it. We’ve talked about how sin starts with pride, which leads to the dangers of addiction, which then, as the sin leads to deeper sins, turns us into greedy and out of control consumers who only think of ourselves.
That’s what these woes are all about – confronting out of control sin with hard truths. A Woe is simply a pronouncement of judgement, a warning against a person who doesn’t realize how dangerous their situation is. They think they’re going along fine, but the trajectory of their sin is leading them to destruction. The prophet pronounces a woe against these people because their sins have been seen by God, and God is going bring judgement against them – but not fire and brimstone from the sky. No, most of God’s plan is to let the natural consequences of their actions bring the judgement against them. Certainly, God would be the guiding hand, but none of that which comes upon them would be spectacular.
The first woe, found in 2:6 was against their greed. “Woe to him who heaps up what is not his own—for how long?—and loads himself with pledges!” Their greed had gotten out of control, which caused them to take things that wasn’t theirs. They took what other people had so they could have more. This gave us a chance to talk about our own out of control spending and debts, and how dangerous it is to live a life as a “slave to the lender” (Prov 22:7), instead of living with Jesus as our Lord.
The second woe, which we covered last week, was against their self-security. “Woe to him who gets evil gain for his house, to set his nest on high, to be safe from the reach of harm!” (2:9) God was telling them how foolish it was to believe that destroying their relationships with the people around them in favour of gathering more wealth would make them safe. This gave us a chance to ask ourselves some important questions about our own sources of anxiety and the foolish and selfish ways we try to mitigate or moderate them, instead of trusting God to meet our needs.
Woe 3 & 4: Self-Centredness
Today we’re going to talk about the third and fourth woe, found in 2:12-17. Let’s read it together:
“Woe to him who builds a town with blood and founds a city on iniquity! Behold, is it not from the LORD of hosts that peoples labor merely for fire, and nations weary themselves for nothing? For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD as the waters cover the sea.
Woe to him who makes his neighbors drink—you pour out your wrath and make them drunk, in order to gaze at their nakedness! You will have your fill of shame instead of glory. Drink, yourself, and show your uncircumcision! The cup in the LORD’s right hand will come around to you, and utter shame will come upon your glory! The violence done to Lebanon will overwhelm you, as will the destruction of the beasts that terrified them, for the blood of man and violence to the earth, to cities and all who dwell in them.”
Both of these woes have something in common, which is why I’m covering them both at the same time. They are both woes against self-centredness.
If you remember the previous sermons, we talked about the downward spiral from pride to sin to addiction to greed. The natural outworking of a life of addiction and greed is self-centredness. We start to believe that the world revolves around us and exists to meet our needs and bring us pleasure. Our addictions and greed make us start to see the world and people around us as objects rather than gifts.
This certainly happened to the Chaldeans (or Babylonians), and we’ve talked about this before. They consumed all they could within their own borders, and then decided to move further out. They weren’t content with what they had, but wanted more and more – at any cost. They didn’t see the world as a gift meant to share, but an object meant to be owned. They didn’t see the people around them as fellow humans, but as enemies who stood between them and that which they desired. Their pride in believing they were their own gods fueled their addictions, which bled beyond their borders, eventually driving them to take over almost the whole world and become one of the largest empires in history.
The third woe says, “Woe to him who builds a town with blood and founds a city on iniquity!” (2:12) The fourth says, “Woe to him who makes his neighbors drink—you pour out your wrath and make them drunk, in order to gaze at their nakedness!” (2:15) Notice the similarity there – the exploitation and consumption of their neighbours.
Their need to fuel their addictions and greed has them reaching beyond their borders to get more. But instead of asking for more, or partnering with others to build mutually beneficial relationships, they simply take. They use brute force to get what they want, taking everything in their path, destroying anyone who gets between them and the object of their desire. All that they have, their whole city, is built on “iniquity”, which is simply the word for “sin” or “wrong”. All they had was dripping with the blood of those they had taken it from.
And the next woe is the natural, next step. The Babylonians were famous for their wild drinking and sex parties. The picture here is that of the enemy nation coming into town, taking over the houses, lands and cities, and then corrupting those around them. They did this in two ways: First, by inviting those who they didn’t kill to join them in their sin and second, by forcing the ones who wouldn’t into addiction and sexual slavery.
This was especially condemning because Israel had a lot of laws about drunkenness, sexuality, and indecency. Their scriptures are full of bad examples of people who got drunk and naked and brought themselves and many others a lot of trouble. Noah, Lot, and Samson got drunk, naked and in trouble.
Babylon was a nation of people dedicated to their own self-pleasure and anyone who wouldn’t join their party was either killed or exploited.
Our Babylonian Culture
This all sounds pretty bad, doesn’t it? But does it still happen today? It’s tempting to get into a diatribe against the pride, addictions, greed and exploitation that is happening at a national level. Most of us know about alarming rise in binge drinking, drug addiction and pornography use among young people – that leads directly into fueling of what is now being called the “Rape Culture”. Countless articles have been written about how rampant violence and drug addiction is in the pornography industry and the terrible amount of human trafficking and abortions that are happening to keep the sex industry going.
It’s getting pretty Babylonian out there, folks.
We’ve been reading about the insane interest that Canada is taking in legalizing marijuana. We live next to Ottawa, which has for the past five years had “Sexapolooza”, which, though sold to the public as a “consumer trade show”, is simply a public celebration of pornography, cruelty, perversion and sexual exploitation. Abortion could be considered the highest form of violence, and Canada is guilty of murdering three hundred babies every day. We compound our appetite for lust with murder.
And, just like fighting against the Babylonians, we know what happens to anyone who doesn’t fall in line, right? You either join the party by choice or by force – or you’re in trouble. Behind the alcohol, drug and sex trade are people with lots of guns, money and influence. Beware anyone who tries to get in their way.
Our Own Self-Centredness
But I don’t only want to talk about the ills of our nation today – I want to make this much more personal. We may not be able to change the path of the nation, but we can certainly examine the sins that beset our own souls. Self-Centredness, or the belief that the world exists to serve you, is something we all suffer from.
Kay Arthur, in her study guide on Habakkuk says,
“The proud, evil lifestyle of the wicked begins with greed, which in turn leads to self-exultation, which cuts off others. Then, because self is exalted above others, what else would you expect? Violence and bloodshed. Not only do you steal what others have so that you can have more, you abuse anyone who gets in the way of self! Drunk on self and power, you then seduce your neighbours for your own sensual satisfaction. And why not? The idols you worship don’t condemn you! And God, if there is a God, doesn’t notice or get involved in the affairs of mere men!”
This isn’t talking about the excesses of the Babylonian Empire, it’s talking about you and me. We are, every day, faced with the decision to choose to love people or love things. Most of us don’t even think about it. We finish the milk, take the last cookie, and we don’t even think of anyone else. We buy our clothes, buy our groceries, order our coffee, use our cell phone, eat at a restaurant, head off to work, drive our cars, watch our tv shows, visit our websites, and head off to bed without even the passing thought that every single one of those actions has repercussions on others.
Why? Because we are self-centered. Instead of loving people and using things, we use people and love our things. Philippians 3:19 condemns people like this saying,
“Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things…”
What that means is that our desire for earthly things like wealth, possessions, comfort, and pleasure, causes us to override our love for God and others. God says that we should love others sacrificially, but our belly-god just keeps crying out for more until we feed it. Like the Woe to the Chaldeans, if we live self-centred life, driven by our appetites, then our end will be destruction.
A Christian, like Jesus, thinks of God first, and then others second. This concept is all over scripture, and it is presented as a very big deal. How we see ourselves and how we treat others, is directly connected to what is going on in our hearts and our relationship with God. Listen:
Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, He answered in Matthew 22:37-40:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
In Philippians 2:3 Paul implores the church to work together saying:
“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”
In James 4:1-3 we read that all of this self-centredness comes from the desires of our heart:
“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.”
And in 1 John 4:19-21 we are told that our love for others is directly connected to our love for God:
“We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.”
This is pretty serious. Our treatment of others shows our relationship with God. 1 John 2:9 says: “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.”
“Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.”
Remember, Jesus said, “…if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:15) and “…in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:2)
Jesus was very serious about how we treat each other. Our relationship with God doesn’t merely exist between us and Him. Making Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour means asking God to change us from self-centred people who worship our stomach and idolize self into people who put God first and others second. “We love because he loved us.” (1 John 4:19)
Examples of How We Exploit Others
But, as I said, we all struggle with being self-centred. So much so that we don’t even know that our most regular, mundane activities have ripple effects that impact people both nearby and far off. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and so I want to give you a quick rundown of the kinds of things I mean. (This may get a little weird, but I hope it helps you see my point.)
Remember how I just said that “we finish the milk, take the last cookie, buy our clothes, groceries and coffee, user our phone, eat at a restaurant, head to work, drive our cars, watch tv, visit our websites, and head off to bed without even the passing thought that every single one of those actions has repercussions on others”? Well, they all do.
Let’s start with the milk and cookies that we finished. Where did the milk come from? Who bought it? Was there more? It may just something as simple as drinking the last of the milk, but if we live in a home with other people, then even the smallest actions have ripple effects. The people around us are a gift from God and we are to treat them as such. Not only that, they are also our primary learning ground for how we interact with the world. Our home and family is where we learn how to show love, share, and deal with conflict. It’s also where we learn what happens when we are greedy, or self-centred. Parents and families have the responsibility to help each other grow into people who know that God is the boss, Jesus is Lord, and we don’t exist merely for ourselves.
Next, in our little scenario, we put on our clothes, get in the car, buy some groceries, and grab a coffee. I want you to consider the effects that those actions have on others. Where did bananas, chocolate, tuna and shrimp you bought come from? It’s not only possible, but likely, that they were picked by child or slave laborers. Did you know most of our cell phones, the rubber in our tires, the diamond on our finger, and the clothes on our back can be tied directly to slavery and human rights abuses? Some of the people that picked the fruit on our counters, cotton in our clothes, and cocoa for our Valentine chocolates, and the beans for our morning coffee were stolen from their families, sold as slaves and are never paid. Others who made our electronics were kept in prison-like conditions and worked so hard that some companies have taken to installing nets in high places to curb the rampant suicides among their workers.
Next, we head to work. Of course, these interactions are full of ways that we can be either be self-centred either or show our care for others. What kind of worker are we? Do we show respect to the employer and our fellow employees? Do we steal from work? Do we abuse the vacation and sick-day system? What kind of e-mails do we send? Do we waste other people’s time?
Next, we go to the restaurant for lunch. Again, where did our food come from? Is it a company that respects the environment? Do they respect the local economy by buying from local farmers and producers, or are they ruining lives by putting them out of business? Did we even consider how the company treats their employees? Or are we perpetuating a system that underpays the delivery people, cooks, staff and managers? We just want a hamburger, but what is the human cost required to fill our belly? Does it even cross our minds?
After we’re done at the restaurant, in our little scenario, we finish up work, go home, watch TV and surf the web. We may believe we are merely passive in this process – after all, we don’t produce the shows or the internet content, right? We just and watch. However, I want you to remember what we learned about Babylon.
God’s woe against them was that anyone who didn’t join their party would be forced into addiction or the subject of violence. I want to read that verse again:
“Woe to him who makes his neighbors drink—you pour out your wrath and make them drunk, in order to gaze at their nakedness!” (Hab 2:15)
What was their end goal? Drunkenness and sexual sin.
Viewing Pornography is Exploitation
Every time we witness a sexual act on the TV or the Internet, we are perpetuating a culture of abuse. Babylon used violence and alcohol to entice and force people into performing lewd acts. Our culture and media producers do the same with drink, drugs, money and threats.
I’m not going to get into the abuses that young people, especially young women, suffer in the movie and tv industry, because that is incredibly well documented and we get to witness the destruction of their souls every day in the newspapers. Every day we sacrifice more of our mothers and daughters on the altar of entertainment.
No, what I want to talk about, briefly, is the sex industry. The picture of Babylon is a picture of prostitution, pornography and human trafficking. All around the world, men steal or lure women and children into the sex industry with both promises and threats. Some they flatter, others they intimidate, but it’s always for the same goal – to exploit them.
Addiction is extremely common among prostitutes and pornographers. It not only masks the pain, but oftentimes, the perpetrators will purposely get the girls addicted to drugs and alcohol so they can control their captives. And then either tie them up in legal contracts or literally tie them up with chains so they can’t escape. (“Porn Fuels the Rape Culture“. “Pornography and Human Trafficking” (also here). “19 Year Old Commits Suicide After Shooting First Porn Scene“. Porn Destroys People, Families and Communities. Also check out Porn Harms.)
Remember their motives: Get them drunk so they can look on their nakedness. Listen closely: every time you look at pornography – every time – they are perpetuating a system that destroys lives. One reason people keep falling into the trap of porn addiction is because they think it doesn’t affect anyone else. That is a demonic lie! It hardens our hearts, destroys our marriages, ruins our ability to love, turns women into objects, and perpetrates some of the worst crimes imaginable against people we should be protecting, not exploiting. (Read/Watch this)
Anyone who has ever used a prostitute or looked at pornography is guilty of the same sins as Babylon – self-centred exploitation of others. Every is another excuse for the pornography machine to grab another young women or child and do it again. They make billions of dollars every year – even off their free sites. Even if you’ve never paid a cent for it, your attention to that website, tv show, or magazine, drives the industry.
I could keep going on this all day, but I think you see my point. This world makes it extremely easy to be a self-centred person who exploits others for their own benefit. We do it every day. Why do the banana and coffee slave owners, abusive technology companies, evil corporations, and pornographers keep getting away with it? Because most people don’t know, and most of the ones who do, don’t care.
Let me close with this: God ends each woe with a prophecy about what will happen to these people. He pronounces His woes and then concludes with, “Behold, is it not from the Lord of hosts that peoples labor merely for fire, and nations weary themselves for nothing? For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord as the waters cover the
“Behold, is it not from the Lord of hosts that peoples labor merely for fire, and nations weary themselves for nothing? For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord as the waters cover the sea…. The cup in the Lord’s right hand will come around to you, and utter shame will come upon your glory!” (Hab 2:14, 16)
This is a reminder that God is going to deal with these sins once and for all. He’s been showing His patience, waiting for His people to come back to Him, but that patience is limited. “The cup in the Lord’s right hand” is the cup of divine retribution. One day, He will pay back everyone for their wrong.
For some, that payment will be made by Jesus Christ. The Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is that God has looked into our self-centred hearts and though He has judged us as sinners, has also made a way for us to be free from the consequences of our sin. Jesus came and lived as sinless man who could die in the place of sinners. God poured out all of His wrath and hatred against sin onto Jesus.
No one will get away with anything – but for some, who believe in Jesus Christ – the payment for their sin has been made for them. He died for our sins. That’s the Good News. We are terrible sinners, but we have a wonderful Saviour. God was willing to trade the perfection of His Son for our imperfection, so we could be with Him forever.
However, others will not accept this gift, and they will pay for their own sins. God’s hatred of their exploitation of others will be upon their heads. All the shame they made others feel, they will feel. All the pain they inflicted – physical, mental, and emotional – will be brought down upon them. Every tear they have caused someone else to shed will be held against them. The hell they put their captives through will be their home for eternity.
Human Traffickers won’t get away with what they’ve done. Abortionists won’t get away with murder. Doctors that kill their patients for money instead of treating them won’t get away with it. Those that manipulate the system for their own benefit and ruin opportunities for others, won’t get away with it. All sin will be dealt with. God has seen it and deal out perfect justice.
I invite you today to realize you are a sinner and turn to God for forgiveness in Jesus name. And then, as you walk with Him, He will change you from self-centred, to Christ-centred – and you will learn how to live for God and others instead of yourself.
God Hates Sin
God hates sin. Were it not for His abundant love for humanity and amazing grace, humanity would have been utterly destroyed a long time ago. God created two people and put them in the perfect environment, gave them everything they needed, and let them know only good – it wasn’t enough for them and they decided they wanted to know evil to. When Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, they were telling God that they didn’t just want to live in a world where they only knew His presence and good things – they wanted to know evil too. Remember, it was the “tree of the knowledge of good and evil” (Gen 2:17). And then, in knowing evil, they brought about their own destruction.
Since that day, we have seen an abundance of grace given to us, despite our love for evil. The whole world became corrupt – thinking only evil thoughts all the time – and instead of destroying everyone in the flood, God chose to save Noah and his family. And within three verses of God’s Rainbow Promise to never flood the earth again, the puddles have only just dried from the flood, Noah passes out naked and drunk and his son stands there gawking and mocking.
And it keeps going downhill from there. God says go forth and multiply, man creates Tower of Babel and refuses. God wants to save the world through Jesus, so He reveals himself to Abram – an unbelieving, pagan who, though believing God at the beginning keeps showing himself to be an untrusting fool. Then you’ve got Hagar and Ishmael, the great cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, Esau selling his birthright, Jacob the liar, and Joseph’s brothers selling him into slavery… and that’s just Genesis! Each time we see men sin against each other and God, we see God’s amazing hand of grace. He has the right to wipe us out, but relents because of His love.
But make no mistake: God HATES sin. Sin is the source of evil in this world. It is sin that tears apart our lives, families, and nations. Sin causes people to starve to death. Sin makes Christians hypocrites. Sin sends people to hell. God hates sin because it is totally incompatible with His nature – He is Holy, Righteous and Perfect. – and God hates sin because it separates us from Him. He hates sin because God loves us!
In the Bible God describes sin using some extreme language: “Wounds, bruises and putrefying sores” (Isa 1:6), an impossibly “heavy burden” (Ps 38:4), a contaminating stain (2 Cor 7:1), an unpayable debt (Matt 18:21-35), and walking in utter darkness (1 Jn 1:6; Rom 1:21)…” This is not the condition He wants His children living in!
The presence of sin causes him to feel both deep sorrow and fierce anger. He loves us, but He absolutely hates sin. Listen to Hosea 11:8-9, at the intense emotions God feels because of the sins of His people: “My heart churns within Me; My sympathy is stirred. I will not execute the fierceness of My anger; I will not again destroy Ephraim. For I am God, and not man, the Holy One in your midst; and I will not come with terror.”
He could though, and one day He will. He’s fierce in his anger, ready to bring terror, but relents because He loves his people. He will be patient for a little longer, and give them yet another chance to repent. But make no mistake: God hates sin. We see this all over scripture, and we’ll see it as we look at Habakkuk today.
Over the next couple weeks we are going to look at the “Woes to the Chaldeans” and it is an intense section of scripture, full of incredibly hard language and pointed threats. It’s a reminder of how much God hates sin – and of the amazing grace of God.
Remember the context. Habakkuk has asked God why there is so much suffering, injustice, violence and sin in his nation. God has answered that He sees it and plans to deal with it by sending the Chaldeans (later called the Babylonians) to wipe out the nation and drag everyone off into captivity. Habakkuk’s follow-up question is to ask God why He would use a greater evil to punish a lesser one. Why would he use the evil, pagan Babylonians to punish the lesser wrongs of His own people, Israel?
God’s answer is that He is a God of justice, and no one will be getting away with anything. He’s allowing the Babylonians to act as a rod of discipline to His children so they will stop doing evil and come back to Him. And then next, we read that the Babylonians won’t get away with their evil either. They too will receive God’s wrath against their sin.
Habakkuk’s complaint was the God wasn’t doing anything about the wrong in this world. And God’s answer was a vision that would show Habakkuk, and us, the truth about how God deals with sin. There will be a day of reckoning for all humanity and no one will get away with any wrong they have done – not Israel, not the Babylonians, not you, not me. One day, perfect justice will be brought against all sin.
Sin From the Inside Out
Before we get into the woes, however, I want to look at verses 4-5, because they show us the root of the sins that God outlines in the five woes to the Chaldeans. This is an MRI or an XRay of the souls of this pagan nation, and shows us what makes them tick. On the outside we see their violence and conquering, but here God gives us insight into what’s making them tick, what’s happening in their hearts – and it shows what happens in our hearts too.
“Behold, his soul is puffed up; it is not upright within him, but the righteous shall live by his faith. Moreover, wine is a traitor, an arrogant man who is never at rest. His greed is as wide as Sheol; like death he has never enough. He gathers for himself all nations and collects as his own all peoples.”
This is, basically, a summary of what we’re about to read in the woes, but it also shows how the Chaldeans (who here are addressed with the singular “he”) spiraled into such deplorable actions. It’s a map of their slide into hell. What we see here is pride fueled by drunkenness which leads to an unrelenting appetite for more sin, which leads to violence against others and then temping others to commit more sin. (Romans 1 shows this spiral too.)
What I want you to be looking for as we study this introduction to the woes is how this pattern shows up in your own life. In what ways does the downward spiral of the Chaldeans play out in your own heart?
Sin Starts with Pride
Their spiral of sin starts with the declaration: “Behold, his soul is puffed up.” Sin starts with pride. If you know the story of Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylon, then you know that he was an egomaniac – we’re talking pride at a mentally disturbed level. This was a man who erected a nearly 30 meter tall, golden image of himself and decreed that everyone, everywhere – on penalty of death – must bow down and worship it whenever his theme music played. God eventually brought Nebuchadnezzar down to earth by humiliating him (read about it in Daniel 4-5: it’s amazing), but pride wasn’t just the King’s problem, it was rampant throughout the nation. He merely typified it.
The whole nation’s soul was puffed up and not upright within them. This was the first and greatest problem, and the fountain from which all the other sins came. Pride places us not only above others but above God. It makes us believe we are own rulers and closes our ears so we will not listen to anyone or anything else – even the Creator. Our way is law.
When 1 John 2:16 summarizes worldly sin, it gives three categories: “the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and [the] pride of life.” This section shows how abundant these three are in the life of this pagan nation, but also convicts us today and our own country. It all stems from pride.
This is where our sin starts too – pride. We all know the well-worn proverb, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18) but how many of us really listen to it? Did you know that word “fall” could also be translated “stumble” or “slide”? Pride comes before the slide. It’s not that we have pride and then crash into the wall… it’s that our pride starts the stumble, the trip, the slide out of control that sends our life into the wall.
- “I know what I’m doing!”
- “I’m the exception to the rule.”
- “I’m strong enough without any help.”
- “I don’t need to pray about that, I’ll take care of it.”
- “It doesn’t matter what the law of the land says, I’m smarter than that.”
- “It doesn’t matter what scripture says, I’m doing it my way.”
- “It doesn’t matter what my parents, my spouse, my elders say – I’m the boss of me and no one can tell me what to do!”
- “It’s my car, my house, my land, my toy, my computer, my tablet, my gun, my tool, my money, my time, and I can do whatever I want with it!”
- Lack of prayer and lack of Bible reading is also pride – it means we think we can live without the voice of God.
- Lack of accountability to the other believers is also pride – it means we think we can take on this world alone.
- Lack of humility in worship is pride.
- Thinking we’re right all the time, refusing to forgive, making decisions without consulting the people that care about us – that’s all pride, pride, pride. It’s the sign of a puffed up soul.
Pride is the engine that starts the slide into the wall of destruction. But it’s just the start – it gets way worse from here.
Pride Leads to Addiction
If pride was the engine, then verse 5 says wine was the fuel. The Babylonians were famous for their drunkenness. It was eventually the cause of their downfall – it was during a drunken party that they decided to raise a toast to their idols while drinking from the gold and silver vessels they had stolen from God’s Temple. And it was during another drunken party that the Persians were able to cross the Euphrates and conquer Babylon – because they were all too drunk to notice or do anything (Herodotus, 1:190-91).
It actually became practice to use getting drunk as a way to make national decisions! They would drink, make decisions, and then evaluate those decisions the next day during their hangover. They would drink to have fun, drink to make decisions, drink to go to war, and then drink in the end of their empire: Israel, Assyria, Babylon and Rome fell while the leaders and people were drunk.
We’re no better today are we? People still get drunk, high and do stupid things. Addiction is constantly ruining lives today. Over and over in scripture, we are warned to avoid drunkenness and addiction, but it’s still a huge part of our society. How many are people are trapped in addictions that lead to the destruction of their bodies, relationships, families, communities, churches, and nations?
Drunkenness is a natural outflow of pride. If we are the masters of our own bodies, the one who makes the best decisions for us, and the world revolves around us, then it stands to reason that we can do whatever we want. And what do we want most? Freedom from pain and the experience of pleasure. What’s the quickest and easiest way for us to kill pain and experience pleasure? To find something that dumps dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins into our brain. Those chemicals in our brain are designed by God to make us feel good. They are a gift. They increase pleasure, minimize pain, and strengthen human relationships and flourishing.
The best way to do this is through a healthy diet, regular exercise, building loving, committed relationships and developing a close connection to our Creator, but that’s all way to hard. The easy way to do it is to take a drink, pop a pill, eat some fat, sugar and salt, light a joint, go shopping and rack up the credit cards, or more often today – go look at pornography and masturbate. It’s quick, easy, and guaranteed to give you the dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphin rush you so badly want. For a moment, pain goes away and pleasure washes over your brain.
And who’s to stop you? You are the king or queen of your own body. You are the boss. No one can tell you what to do! The world owes you pleasure. The world exists for your sake. If you are hurting, then you deserve to do whatever you want.
When pride is the engine, addiction becomes the fuel it uses to keep going.
But it says “wine is a traitor”! Proverbs 20:1 says, “Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.” Whatever your favourite method of getting your pleasure chemicals is – alcohol, drugs, porn, sex, shopping, work, or food – it’s a traitor and a mocker.
We know this, don’t we? It promises one thing but delivers another, and then sits back and laughs at you.
- It tells you “just this once”, and then leads you into captivity.
- It tells you, “this will make you feel better”, and then turns you into a fool.
- It says, “I’m here to make you feel good”, and then destroys your body, heart and soul.
- It says, “This will bring you power and control”, and then proceeds to weaken and control you.
- It says, “I can take away your pain”, and then returns more suffering than you ever had before.
This is another reason that God hates sin. It destroys us. He is jealous for us and wants to be our Lord, God and Saviour because He knows that whenever we are left to ourselves, we turn to things that destroy us. He wants to be our King, not for His sake, as though it makes Him feel big and important, but for our own sake! It is only when we come under His Lordship that we finally realize that we have no business leading our own way, because our pride only leads to our destruction! His rules, laws, and ways, are there so we can know life abundantly – and not be trapped in the downward spiral of prideful, sinful destruction.
Addiction Leads to Greed
But there’s one more step down this slide into hell. If pride is the engine, and addiction the fuel, then greed is the product. Pride and addiction creates a void in our souls that can never be filled. Pride makes us think they we are our own gods, addiction fuels our decision making, and the machine we keep feeding only produces an appetite for more and more and more. These people were never content, always thirsting for more – and they were willing to take it at anyone’s expense. That’s what sin does – it seeks to rob us and everyone around us of everything. It says, “His greed was a wide as Sheol, like death he never has enough.”
They had access to their many vices in Babylon (or Chaldea), but it wasn’t enough. As with all self-centred addicts, their problems didn’t just stay inside their own mind and body but spilled out over everyone else. Their addictive behaviour wasn’t content with only one form, it needed to grow. Now, without anyone to stop them, their addictions grew and spread: They wanted more wine, more wealth, more comfort, more land, more prestige, more gold, more power – and they wouldn’t stop.
Their addiction made them as hungry as hell and turned them into an agent of death for all those around them – and no one was going to stop them. They became a gaping maw that only knew how to consume. They were never full, always wanting more, ruining everything they touched, consuming everything and everyone. They became consumers, as hungry as the grave. (Pause and consider for a moment.)
In their addiction fueled pride they believed that the world now existed to fulfill their desires. Their souls were thirsty for something of substance, their hearts devoid of anything real, but they didn’t turn to that which was good, pure and right – instead they tried to fill it with anything and everything the world had to offer – even at the expense of their souls and all of humanity.
This is the nature of sin. It makes big promises, but never fulfills. It only makes us more greedy. We never, ever walk away from sin satisfied.
We fanaticize about shouting someone down and making them feel like garbage, and then when we do, we don’t feel better for long – but we keep thinking that if we shout down enough people, then we’ll finally be in charge and feel better.
We roll around in our minds the fantasy of committing adultery, playing with it, reveling in the idea of it, and then when we follow through, that few moments of pleasure lead to a lifetime of pain.
We can’t wait until we can fill our bellies with sugar, our veins with chemicals, and when we do… we feel sick and guilty. Sin never fulfills, because it can’t.
No matter what the sin is – lust, addiction, anger, greed, laziness, wrath, greed – when we act on it, it never satisfies our deepest needs. It just causes us to slide further down and consume something and someone else. If you think about this, then you know it’s true.
Your sin always leads to more and deeper sin. You never stay at the same level of sinful action. Once leads to twice, and the void inside gets bigger (nots smaller) and leads to doing it more often and in worse ways. You eat more, yell more, accumulate more, find more levels of perversion… consuming all you can until you’ve consumed everything around you – your conscience, your marriage, your family, your friends, your community – then, like Nebuchadnezzar, you decide to move outside your borders so you can consume others. It’s a never ending cycle that only builds a greater appetite.
In Matthew 6, Jesus spends a lot of time talking about the dangers of pursuing the things of this world instead of the things of God. When He said:
- “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth…”
- “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
- “You cannot serve God and money…”
- “…do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”
He wasn’t giving us pious platitudes – He was warning us about a dangerous condition within the human heart – that every time we start trying to find joy, comfort, love, peace, meaning and hope in creation rather than Creator, we end up driving ourselves crazy and slipping into destruction.
John Calvin put it this way: “Man’s nature… is a perpetual factory of idols.”
I hope you know this and have seen it in yourself. Whenever you try to replace God with something in this world – even a good thing like food, wine, or sex – it turns traitorous on you and sticks a knife in your back. It’s universal. And no one, not even Nebuchadnezzar, the king of the whole world, could stop it. Can you see now why God hates sin so much?
How To Get Out From Under
So how do we get out from under the terrible weights of pride, addiction and greed?
First, admit you sin. Just admit it. You are a sinner who loves to sin. Don’t let your foolish pride make you believe that you are above sinning or that all that you do is right. Admit you’re a sinner.
- “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” (1 John 1:8)
- “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)
If you want the grace of God, you have to stop being so prideful.
Second, admit that you are utterly incapable of dealing with and conquering your own sin. You don’t need more willpower. You don’t need a special tool. You don’t need another book. You don’t need some kind of special knowledge. You need someone stronger than you – you need the Holy Spirit of God. The only way to have access to the Holy Spirit is through Jesus Christ. You must admit to Him you are a sinner and that you need Him to save you. Accept that He took the punishment for your sin on the cross and has invited you to accept Him as Lord and Saviour of your life.
When you have done that, He will grant to you the Holy Spirit, and it is He who will do the hard work in you. Take a look at what Galatians 5 says about the battle between sin and the Spirit and our desperate need for the Spirit’s help.
“I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (Galatians 5:16-21)
I know you see yourself in one of those works of the flesh. I know you see your greatest temptation struggle in there. How do you get rid of it? Ask for forgiveness and then ask for the Holy Spirit’s help. The next verse says,
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.” (Gal 5:22-25)
Do you need more patience, more gentleness, more self-control? You need to submit to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and accept the gift of the Holy Spirit. And then you need to listen His words by reading scripture and stay alert for when He speaks to you. Learn what He desires from you by reading His word, and then listen for his voice to convicts you, correct you, train you, help you, educate you, encourage you, and strengthen you. His voice is still available today for those who want it.
And third, if you want to be free from your sin, you need to hate it. Let me give a final warning, and it’s something that convicted me very deeply this week. It comes from Psalm 66:18, but I want to read the context to you. Open to Psalm 66:16-19:
“Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul. I cried to him with my mouth, and high praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer.”
This is written to believers – “all you who fear God” – and contains a promise and a warning. The promise is that God will hear our prayers and He will do something on your behalf. The warning is found in verse 18:
“If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.”
This promise is written all over the Bible. I told you that the way out from under sin is to turn it over to God through the shed blood of Jesus Christ, and by accessing the power of the Holy Spirit. That all comes through prayer – talking to God. Nothing happens until we talk to God in prayer. That’s how God built the system.
As long as we are “cherishing” sin, God doesn’t listen. No forgiveness, no healing, no renewal, no miracles, no nothing. If we cherish sin, God’s ears are shut. To cherish sin means to enjoy it, approve of it, make excuses for it, love it, hold it close, make it important, protect it, make it special, keep it secret and safe.
The only way to kill the sins within us is to hate them – to hate them like God hates them. Only then will we want to be rid of them! Learn to hate pornography, hate drugs, hate greed, hate unrighteous anger, hate greed, hate laziness, hate gluttony. As long as we cherish our sin, we show that we do not hate it, and we will never be rid of it. Cherishing it means we want it more than God, more than forgiveness, more than blessing, more than peace… even though it’s killing us.
Your sin is affecting your conscience, your heart, your home, your relationship with God and with others. Don’t cherish your sin – instead confess it to God, accept His forgiveness through Jesus, and live His way.
The 26th episode of “Carnivore Theology”.
What’s So Bad About “50 Shades of Grey” Anyway?
Facebook is filled with conversations for and against seeing the movie “50 Shades of Grey”. In Canada right now, Jian Ghomeshi is in the news regarding abuse charges that reflect the content of 50 Shades.
There are people that are claiming to be Christians that seem to support this type of “personal expression” and “sexual choice”.
Is BDSM just another form of sexuality? How do I respond to a fellow Christian who has read the book or is planning on seeing the movie? How do I build a loving argument and give concrete evidence that this is not helpful or good for them?
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I don’t really want to talk about this and I’m fairly sure that there are some who don’t want to hear it, but we must address the evil, insidious, and deceptive sin of pornography.
This week, just in time for Valentine’s Day, a movie called 50 Shades of Grey will be released. This movie is based on a book of the same name. Both the book and the movie are classified as erotica, which is a form of pornography.
There was a big ratings controversy because normally a movie like this would be banned from mainline theatres. However, since they know this movie is going to make a tonne of money, and despite its pornographic and violent content, the movie will be released in two versions: one rated NC-17, which is basically X, and one rated R with a few of the most graphic scenes cropped down.
Anti-pornography and sexual exploitation groups have worked hard to try to get the film boycotted or at least given a stronger, adult rating. Some theatres in Britian are looking for permission to have themselves get an exception and “legally change themselves into sex-film venues” so they can show the more hard-core version.
What’s in 50 Shades of Grey?
What is the big deal, you might be asking? There have been lots of movies of a sexual nature that have come to the theatres, so what makes this one different? Well, this one is more dangerous – by far. To quote the US National Center on Sexual Exploitation:
“Hollywood is advertising the Fifty Shades story as an erotic love affair, but it is really about sexual abuse and violence against women. The porn industry has poised men and women to receive the message that sexual violence is enjoyable. Fifty Shades models this porn message and Hollywood cashes the check.”
Obviously, I refuse to buy or read the book, but I took some time this week to read some chapter analyses from a website set up by a professional therapist and abuse victim who takes apart each section of the book, shows what’s happening, and explains the damage being done. I managed to make it about half-way through the chapter 8 analysis before I had to quit. It was some of the most disturbing stuff I’ve ever read.
Let me read to you the excellent summary of the book put out by a site called “End Sexual Exploitation”:
“The Fifty Shades trilogy follows wealthy and powerful businessman Christian Grey as he meets Anastasia Steele, a virginal college student lacking confidence, and woos her into his BDSM (sexual sadism or torture sex) world and ‘red room of pain.’ The relationship maps onto what would be considered an abusive relationship rife domestic violence in the real world. Christian puts Ana under contract to serve as a sexual ‘submissive’ and uses intimidation, coercion, humiliation, violence, stalking, manipulation, jealousy and other controlling behaviors to groom Ana and keep her under his domination. The franchise advertises it as a love affair and erotic sex—what it’s really about is abuse and violence…”
I can attest that this is a very accurate description.
Erotica Goes Mainstream
Pornography, erotica and sexual perversion have always been popular –it’s been around forever – but for a very long time it lived in the shadows. Pornographic movies were kept away from other movies, dirty magazines were kept behind the counter, blocked out with paper, and delivered in black bags. Sexualized images used to be blocked out and only seen very late. But now, with advent of the internet, porn has gone mainstream. It’s easily accessed on our home computers and can be brought up on any smartphone, anywhere. (I appreciate Tim Challies’ post on this)
And it’s growing even more popular. Porn hasn’t stayed in the shadows. It’s not just in the dirty magazines and on the bad-websites… it’s on TV, at the movie theatre, and in Superbowl commercials. We live in a pornified society.
Advertisers figured out a long time ago that they can hock more product if they juice it with sexuality, but this is more than a pretty girl in an advertising campaign. Pornography is now a normal part of popular TV shows and mainstream books. It’s literally everywhere.
And it’s sneaky. Let me give you an example from our church. In an attempt to get you used to their brand and their form of writing, Harlequin (the publisher of the erotica novels) put out a series called “Love Inspired” for Christians. One of the first things I did when came here was to clear out an entire shelf of Harlequin romance novels. Our church library had novels by the same publishing company that released “10 Rules to Sex Up a Blind Date”.
As I said, porn is everywhere, and it’s going more and more mainstream. How mainstream? 50 Shades of Grey, the book about sexual sadism or torture sex, was the #1 bestselling book of 2012 and the #2 bestselling book in 2013! In some places it outpaced Harry Potter for how fast it sold. The author has made millions of dollars. The movie trailer has more than 48 million hits on YouTube. And the movie is, supposedly on track to make 60 million dollars in its opening weekend. That puts it in the territory of The Lego Movie, Star Wars 1, and many of the Marvel Movies. Presale ticket numbers are already much larger than expected.
And do you know who’s buying those tickets? Women. Women are way into porn right now. Not just secular women, but married, Christian women too. There was a survey conducted that showed that the same ladies who were the best customers for bible studies were, at the same time, reading 50 Shades of Grey.
They are releasing both R and NC-17 versions of the film because the fans of the book are demanding it. The producer of the film recently said:
“What we’re kind of hearing from the fans is they want it dirty… they want it as close as possible [to the book]…. The sex scenes featuring bondage, spanking and sadomasochism were a big part of the appeal of the so-called ‘mommy porn’ books by EL James.”
That’s what they’re calling this phenomenon: “Mommy Porn”. Married, conservative, women with children are going crazy for this book series. Yes, it’s still mostly men that use porn and struggle with porn addiction, but women are rapidly increasing in number. Men escape into hyper-sexualized images, but women are more interested in the storyline. Therein lies the danger of 50 Shades of Grey and other forms of literary erotica. They “fill the relational void of their loneliness, marital strife, or the pain of abuse” with pornographic fantasy (source). Just as many men have generated a personal harem in their mind, a rolodex full of pornographic images, so now do women have their own version of sexualized and pornographic library.
Satan has almost destroyed men with porn and his next target is women – and it’s working. Even against Christian women. Satan is inviting women to consume spiritual death – and they are in record numbers.
Statistics show that many men in the church use pornography regularly, and some of them are addicted. Research also suggests that 20% (that’s 1 in 5) of Christian women use online porn regularly. I know more women who call themselves Christian and have read 50 Shades. One author I read tells the story of visiting a friend who is a sex therapist who said, “For the first twenty-five years I had no women in my sexual counselling. Now 30 percent of all the people I see for sexual addictions are women.”(“Culture Shock” by Chip Ingram, Pg 48)
Every man I have ever had a deep conversation with has admitted that they struggle (or have struggled) with pornography. That includes preachers, youth pastors, elders, Sunday school teachers, ushers, small group leaders and everyone else. Now, it’s the females in the church that get to feel guilt, shame, discontent, disconnect from God, and shrink away from the faith.
Most of the people who bought this book, Christians included, didn’t give it a second thought. That shows how insidious it is. Their consciences should be screaming at them, but they aren’t. There might be a gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit, but He is quickly told to shut-up because they are “just curious”.
That kind thinking that brings porn into the mainstream – it normalizes it. It builds the callous around our hearts and makes us more accepting of sin. People can’t see what’s right and wrong anymore because they live bathed in sexual sin. Folks watching House of Cards, Game of Thrones, Trueblood, or almost anything on HBO or Showtime are supporting the normalization of pornography. We watch, they make more, we deaden our souls.
The Slope of Depravity
This is no surprise to Christians. Romans 1:16-32 tells us all about the corruption that comes from accepting and exposing ourselves to a regular diet of sin.
“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, ‘The righteous shall live by faith.’” (vs 16-17)
Paul is going to spend the rest of the book talking about the “power of God for salvation to everyone” through Jesus Christ. Here he introduces the topic by talking about the “righteousness of God” that has been “revealed” – which he’ll go on to explain to mean the righteousness that comes through faith in the resurrection of Jesus Christ. But before he gives the Good News, he has to give the bad.
“For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth.” (vs 18)
God through the prophets and Jesus and his Apostles didn’t just “reveal” “the righteousness of God”, but have also “revealed” the “unrighteousness of men.” And even though their sin has been “revealed” to them, instead of admitting it and repenting they “suppress the truth” because they love their sin more than God. They see the truth, but reject it and actively try to put an end to it.
Keep reading and we’ll see how the suppression of the truth leads directly to sexual sin.
“For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.” (vs 19-23)
There’s the first step. Every human being has an inherent knowledge that there is something greater than themselves. Humanity universally recognizes the “invisible attributes” of God. We see it in the creation around us and the conscience within us. Everyone ever born has an “inner sense of what God requires, but they choose not to live up to it.” (Life Application Bible Commentary – Romans, Pg 24.)
They love their sin, and want to be their own gods, so instead of acknowledging this truth, they suppress it, ignore it, and speak against it. In other words they darken their hearts. And, like any bad scientist, in order to prop up their selfish conclusions, they come up with all manner of wise-sounding nonsense, twisting the evidence before them to match their own conclusions.
But it doesn’t stop there.
“Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.” (vs 24-25)
CS Lewis once wrote:
“There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, in the end, ‘Thy will be done.’ All that are in Hell, choose it.”
Tim Keller adds:
“All God does in the end with people is give them what they most want, including freedom from himself. What could be more fair than that?”
People have an inward sense of the existence and moral law of God, but they always choose against it. And God allows us that choice. Just as He allowed Adam and Eve to eat from the tree, so He allows every person to make their own choices about how they will live their lives, even if conscience cries out against it. And people are geared for worship – we must worship something – and therefore we turn our worship to created things.
And the ultimate created thing, the pinnacle of God’s creation isn’t “birds and animals and creeping things”, but humanity. We don’t stop at worshipping merely all the wonderful things God created around us – though that’s where we start – but we are inevitably drawn to worship God’s greatest creation: us. This leads us to all manner of “impurity”: pride, theft, covetousness, wrath… and ultimately to the greatest mix of idolatry and worship: sexual sin.
“They exchanged the truth about god for a lie and worshiped and serve the creature.” God’s greatest “creature” is humanity, and the greatest form of personal, physical, emotional pleasure we can get is through sex. But, because we worship ourselves and not God, we don’t want to experience it God’s way… we want the lie we’ve crafted for ourselves… and so we create our own rules about it.
“For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.” (vs 26-27)
Again, we see God giving people what they want. In their depraved minds, bent on worshipping the idol of humanity and getting as much sexual fulfilment as they can, they create more and more unnatural and depraved ways of finding physical pleasure. God set the law in nature that sexuality is between the male and female of the species. And He set the law in our hearts so that we know inherently that it’s sin. That could be why the gay-rights proponents are working so hard to get the blessing of church ministers (and therefore God) – to assuage their guilt at the knowledge that what they are doing is against God.
God’s way isn’t what they want, so they seek to normalize and find approval for homosexuality, lesbianism, and polygamy. They exchanged truth for the lie, suppressed the truth, and come up with their own forms of wisdom to make excuses for their out of control passions.
But it doesn’t even stop there. Since humanity is worshipping the creation rather than the Creator, they find that creation comes up lacking. Normal, godly sex isn’t enough. Their own perversions of it aren’t enough. Homosexual sex isn’t enough. Polygamy isn’t enough. Humanity simply can’t come up with anything close to what God offers in committed, heterosexual marriage, but people are unwilling to turn back to God and accept His gift the way He’s offered it. They’ve darkened their heart and believed the lie so their sin must go deeper.
The spiral towards hell continues.
“And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done.” (vs 28)
They go from a “foolish heart” to “dishonourable passions” to “a debased mind”. “Debased” means corrupted, depraved, perverted, deteriorated. Their worship of humanity ultimately becomes worship of self. And when you’re god, you make the rules. Therefore everyone around you exists to serve you. Take what you want and punish anyone who gets in your way. So their out-of-control lust descends into all manner of sexual perversions and selfish behaviour including rape, incest, child porn, and other forms of evil.
“They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.” (vs 29-32)
They completely throw off any form of authority or godly morality and make themselves (and anyone that thinks like them) the decider of right from wrong. Of course they give approval to “those who practice” the same sins as them! They’re doing it, and they are a god, so it must be ok. That’s why so few stand up against pornography, abortion, or euthanasia. It’s because they are so steeped in their own sinful perversions that they can’t help but give approval to those who are doing what they are doing. Otherwise they’d be hypocrites!
Do you see how the slope of depravity works?
- Deny the existence of God and become gods ourselves.
- Since we are gods, we are worthy of worship, therefore we worship ourselves.
- Our worship of self naturally turns towards one of the best things He gave humanity, sexuality, which is quickly corrupted because we are corrupt creatures.
- Our form of corruption is unfulfilling so we must try others.
- We go from foolishness to corruption to debasement, coming up with more and more ways to pleasure ourselves and harm others.
- And to make it right, we petition and then force others to agree with what we are doing – or else.
You must see that this is happening in many forms right now.
This is why I can’t stress enough how dangerous and destructive pornography and erotica is. Constant exposure to pornography, which is the worship of humanity, and ultimately the worship of personal pleasure, darkens the heart. It creates expectations that are absolutely unattainable in reality. Soon the fantasy relationships become more important (and certainly more exciting) than the real ones, which creates discontent, resentment, and boredom. Which means going back to the porn for another hit. But that porn doesn’t do it, so you have to get more depraved. Soon just watching doesn’t work for you and you have to go try it out. This isn’t just me saying this, it’s documented fact. And it’s not just Christians saying this.
Exposure to pornography has also created what people are calling the “Rape Culture”. 50 Shades of Grey is the perfect example of how depravity has become normalized to the point where rape and violence towards women is seen as acceptable.
“Pornography is the theory, and rape is the practice.” (Feminist Robin Morgan)
“The porn industry has poised men and women to receive the message that sexual violence is enjoyable. Fifty Shades models this porn message and Hollywood cashes the check…” (Dawn Hawkins of the National Center on Sexual Exploitation)
Pornography is getting more and more violent and the acceptance of 50 Shades in the mainstream is a glaring example of its effects. People now openly talk about adding bondage, roleplaying, torture, and all forms of physical and emotional abuse to their list of things they want to try in the bedroom. All under the guise of “erotic liberty” and “consent” … which is laughable considering the violent, manipulative and deplorable nature of the acts. But to their darkened hearts and depraved minds, it’s normal… and acceptable… and helpful… and fun.
You’ve no doubt heard by now about the public trial of CBC’s disgraced host Jian Ghomeshi. He is literally a real life example of the lifestyle promoted in 50 Shades. He’s a middle aged, wealthy, intelligent, persuasive celebrity man luring, manipulating and threatening young women into violent sexual encounters. More and more women have stepped forward against this man, but some, at the time, went along with what Ghomeshi was doing – giving tacit consent because they were afraid of what would happen if they didn’t. This is what 50 Shades looks like when it’s played out in reality. It’s not fun, it’s sexual abuse.
The Rape Myth
An Encyclopedia of Psychology I have says, “The presentation of rape themes in pornography has been one expression of the sex and violence linkage and has led researchers to conclude that this results in increased acceptance of the rape myth, of rape fantasies, and of violence against women. Even where pornography is only implicitly hostile to women, without overt violence, a dehumanizing effect still is found…. The dangers from pornography are now widely established in the mainstream of the psychological literature, and legal restrictions on child pornography apply in many countries.”(Baker Encyclopedia of Psychology & Counseling, 2nd ed., p. 884)
“The perpetrators [of rape and prostitution and pornography and child molestation] are in a common set of beliefs, and when we look at the research we can see some of those common beliefs, so that we know that individuals who are exposed to pornographic media have beliefs such as [thinking that] rape victims like to be raped, they don’t suffer so much when they’re raped, ‘she got what she wanted’ when she was raped, women make false accusations of rape because it isn’t really rape, sex is really either good or great and there isn’t any other option other than good or great, no one is really traumatized by it. All of these are part of the rape myth. People who use pornography accept the rape myth to a greater degree than others. So we have a sense that pornography is teaching them to think like a rapist and then triggering them to act like rapists…. When you cheapen sex and you cheapen women’s bodies, when you treat people like things there’s a consequence and one of the consequences is sexual violence…” (Dr. Mary Anne Layden, director of the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology Program in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania)
Scripture on Pornography
All over the scriptures we are told about what an amazing gift sex is – God is certainly NOT anti-sex – but He also warns us to be careful with it. For the same reasons, and more, that these experts are starting to figure out. We’ve already read Romans 1, but the power, beauty and danger of sex is all over scripture.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.” (Matthew 5:27-30)
This isn’t just for men, it’s also for women. Jesus is so serious about us not getting on the slippery slope of erotica, pornography and masturbation that He says it would be better for us to gouge out our eyes and cut off our hands than to go there.
Paul says to the believers in Corinth who are committing gross sexual sins even inside their church. Here he talks about the spiritual reality of pornography, adultery, and masturbation.
“The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh.’ But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Cor 6:13-20)
For a Christian to look at porn, read erotica, and be addicted to masturbation, is the same as when the Israelites would walk into the Temple of God and put up a false idol right next to the Ark of the Covenant. It’s a deplorable sin with far-reaching, spiritual consequences.
How serious are these consequences?
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them…” (Ephesians 5:1-6)
Sexual sin is a sign of a hard heart towards God. Partnering with pornographers and erotica publishers by buying and recommending their products is a sign of being a non-believer. Paul says “sexual immorality… must not even be named among” the people of God!
If you think you’re a Christian and can look at porn, read 50 Shades of Grey, fanaticize about extra-marital sex, accept pornography as good and helpful, reading it without guilt and shame, and enjoying that kind of impurity, then that’s a sign that you’re way beyond grieving the Holy Spirit and are actually working with “the sons of obedience” who are under “the wrath of God”. That’s not a place you want to be.
Words of Hope
Let me close with some words of hope. Sex is as wonderful as it is powerful.
“God resists any notion that we can separate sexual desires or actions from the rest of our life. God [wants] the best for us and wants to protect sex and its sacred power for two people to bond in an environment where they know intimately and are known.” (“Culture Shock” by Chip Ingram, Pg 60)
We live in a culture that says that if you want sex you should go get it: anytime, anywhere, with anyone. But the teachings of scripture says,
“No, that premise may seem logical, but it misses God’s design for sex… Sex functions like the fire in a fireplace. God wants the fire to burn hot and passionate inside the fireplace of marriage, where it brings light, hear, warmth, and intimacy. But when the fire is taken out of the fireplace to places it shouldn’t be, it destroys and its purpose is also destroyed…. God declared the boundaries of the fireplace so He could also say, ‘I want to protect you. I want to provide for you. I want to give you the highest and the best.’ More than just an action, sex matters to God and he gave it to us as a sacred gift.”(“Culture Shock” by Chip Ingram, Pg 66)
If you are stuck in sexual sin, trapped under its weight, constantly feeding yourself death, and want to get free, I want to read to you two more scriptures.
“For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’” (Romans 8:13-15)
“They will return to it and remove all its vile images and detestable idols. I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Then they will follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people, and I will be their God.” (Ezekiel 11:18-21)
You’ve lived according to the flesh, and you’ve felt the destruction of your spirit, but you don’t have to stay that way. Turn from your sin, hate it, repent from it, and come to Jesus who offers you forgiveness and strength. He offers life “led by the Spirit of God”. Call out to your Father in Heaven and ask for forgiveness. Exchange the lie for the truth. When you are under temptation, call out to your Father in Heaven because you have been adopted as his child and He will come to you.
Remove the “vile images and detestable idols” from your life and stop living with a divided heart. Stop making excuses for them and see them for what they are – lies and detestable things that lead to death. God promises, when you turn to Him, that He will give you a new spirit, a new heart, and the ability to obey Him.
If you have sinned against someone through sexual sin, ask God’s forgiveness, and then ask forgiveness of the person you have sinned against. Whether you tempted them to sexual sin, committed sin with them, or used them selfishly to gratify your own flesh, talk to God about it, cleanse your heart and then go and ask forgiveness of the person you sinned against, and God promises to cleanse you, give you a new heart, and make you into one of His children.
Once you’ve asked forgiveness of God and the other person, don’t try to continue the fight alone. You need God’s help and you need the help of other Christians. Tell someone you trust. Ask them to help you and hold you accountable. And together, let’s live lives of purity and love – the kind that God intended for us.
I recently sent this to a struggling friend and was convicted to share it on the blog in hope of helping others. These are practical ways that I’ve learned to combat the temptation to view pornography. Hopefully they will help you too.
1. Have Consistent Daily Devotions – If you’re reading God’s Word and talking to Him every day (putting on “the whole armor of God“) then you are a billion times more likely to have the strength to fight temptation. The more you love God, then more you’ll hate sin. The brighter God shines, the darker sin looks. (Here’s a method if you’re looking for one.)
2. Get an Accountability Partner – Find a Christian brother or sister of the same gender, whom you see often, and confide in them about your struggle. Ask them to pray for you and give them permission to regularly ask you about porn (“Have you looked at pornography lately?”). Once you drag your sin into the light, the shame and fear associated with it will dissipate. Satan wants you to be alone and afraid, but James 5:16 says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”
3. Use Effective Porn Blocking – I’m really good at using computers so finding a way to block porn was a tough one — but I figured it out. The best/easiest way I’ve found to do it is to use OpenDNS on your router. It’s super easy to setup and has the advantage of blocking all kinds of pop-ups and other weird internet stuff. Once you’ve set that up, and this is important, give your router and OpenDNS password to your accountability partner. Make it impossible to remember (or have them enter it in) and then you can’t access it or change it. And since it’s based in your router, “Incognito Mode” doesn’t work. (And if you know your way around a router, do this to prevent it from being circumvented by local DNS changes.)
4. Enable/Force Google Safe Search – This is important because enabling Google Safe Search will help keep you from stumbling across images and sites that get your motor running. (If you know your way around a router then do this too as it will force every device connected to the router to use Google Safe Search.)
5. Remove Web Browsing From Portable Devices – This one might be painful, but trust me, you’ll get over it. If you have an Apple device, then use “Restrictions” to disable Safari and give the password to your Accountability Partner. Most of the stuff you want to do uses an app anyway, right? (Sorry, I don’t know how to do this on an Android or Blackberry device.)
6. Learn to Hate Porn – You cannot kill a sin that you do not hate. One of the reasons people keep falling for porn is that they think it’s their own private problem and doesn’t affect anyone else. That’s a damnable lie. Here’s some things to read so you can learn to hate pornography: “Porn Fuels the Rape Culture“. “Pornography and Human Trafficking” (also here). “19 Year Old Commits Suicide After Shooting First Porn Scene“. Porn Destroys People, Families and Communities. Also check out Porn Harms.
7. Remember You’re Forgiven – If you hate your sin and ask Jesus for forgiveness, He will absolutely forgive you. He loves you so much that He took your punishment for that very sin. Yes, sexual sin is bad, but Jesus was crucified to pay for that sin too. Remember 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Take some time to read Romans 8 to really understand the depth of forgiveness. When you fall, Jesus will forgive you.
8. Remember Temptation Isn’t Sin – Satan wants you to believe that you must sin. He wants you to think that depravity is part of you and you can’t get away from it. He wants you to think that since you’re tempted too look at porn then you aren’t a real Christian. And if you’re not a Christian, then you don’t have access to the power of Christ through the Holy Spirit. He wants you to think you’re alone and that you have no choice but to give in. Remember, even Jesus was tempted! Temptation isn’t sin. You are a child of God and a new creation and you do not have to sin. That’s why you’re fighting against it! You have the strength, in Jesus, to fight temptation.
The Porn Episode
The world is full of sexualized images in advertisements, movies, tv, and especially online. Huge numbers of men and women use pornography to the point of addiction.
In this spirited episode the Carnivore Theology guys discuss the problem with porn, how a Christian can stay faithful while surrounded by sex, what we can do to protect ourselves, and how to our explain view to others.
Here’s the Podcast Audio:
The Links We Promised
Once again, We Need Your Feedback
We’re working out the bugs, but before we launch this thing, we need your help! So please, give it a listen, and give us your feedback in the comments section below, by e-mailing me, or commenting on our Facebook page. We’re also on Twitter! We’d really appreciate it.
“God is our refuge and strength,
an ever present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear,
through the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though the waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging…
The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.”
(Psalm 46:1-3, 7)
We praise you Lord for
your might and power, Read the rest of this entry »