Male and Female

The Battle of the Sexes 3: Male Headship

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46 - The Battle of the Sexes and God's Original Plan - Male Headship pt 3

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Have you ever been house shopping? Anita and I have moved a few times and have owned a couple homes, so we know what it’s like to spend days and days going through strangers homes and wondering if you can see yourself living there. I was really, really bad at it because even if the house was shaped perfectly if I didn’t like the colour of the walls, I just couldn’t get past it. Anita would be like, “Wow, this place is great!” and I’d be like, “Yeah, but that one wall is purple, and I don’t think I could live with that, so let’s try somewhere else.” Not a good way to buy a house, right?

Buying a house isn’t just buying a paint colour, right? There’s a lot to consider. There’s the big picture stuff like what neighbourhood are you living in? How close are you to the next house? Where’s the nearest shopping or bus station? How long do you intend to stay?

Then there’s the living space. How many rooms will you need? How big of a kitchen? Does your stuff fit in it?

But it goes deeper, right? You have to check behind the walls to see how the electrical and plumbing are. You have to check the furnace, the roof, the attic. Check for ants or termites. In Cleveland, we had to get it tested for Radon gas to see if the air in our house would kill us.

But it goes even deeper than that, right? You have to check the foundation of the house to see if there are cracks, if it supports the house, if it’s draining water properly, or if it’s slowly sinking into the ground. If the foundation isn’t right, your whole house can twist so your doors and windows don’t even fit properly.

As we’ve been going through our passage in 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 I’ve been trying to explain it from the foundation up so we can understand what God is saying. This type of passage is like walking into one of those modern architecture houses where everything looks kind of weird and you wonder how anyone can live there, or how it even remains standing – but once the architect takes you through it you start to see the genius of the design. Let’s read our passage one more time and then we’ll do a bit of review:

“Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven. For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head. For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God. Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God.”

The Foundation

On the first week, we talked about the foundation of the house. What is it built on? Will it stay standing? What makes it strong? And we said that the foundations of this passage is built on five important things: First, the authority of the Apostles, who carry the authority of King Jesus. Second, the Godhead of the Trinity which extends beyond time and culture. Third, it is established in God as Creator and fourth, in the way He purposefully designed His creation. And fifth, it is established in common church practice, which again goes beyond personal preference and culture. So the teaching in this passage has a strong, strong foundation.

The Walls

The next week we talked about the walls of the passage, explaining the cultural context of the passage and figuring out what parts are decorative and which parts are structural. It’s natural to ask, “Why is Jesus, through Paul the apostle, making such a big deal over what a woman wears on her head?” The answer is that choice of whether or not a woman wears a head covering in that culture showed told a lot about what was going on in her heart. It showed pride, irreverence, and promiscuity. It was disrespectful to God, the church, and their families. It was confusing to new believers and a poor witness to non-believers. There was a lot of ways this heart issue came out, but one of the main ones that we read over and over, and which I’ve been dancing around, is that it showed a lack of submission to God’s established authority structure.

Why is this a big deal? Verse 2, “the head of every wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” Verse 7-10, “…woman is the glory of man. For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.  That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.”

How the women were presenting themselves showed what was going on in their heart, and the biggest problem was that it showed that these wives were refusing to submit to the headship of their husband, which meant they were refusing to submit to the headship of God. That’s why the head coverings were such a big issue in Corinth. Not because a woman’s supposed to have long hair, or because she needs to wear a hat, but because in that culture, removing your head covering in the Christian church announced to everyone that your heart was not right with God.

In our house analogy, the head coverings were like the decorations, paint, pictures, and furniture in the home. It’s usually the first and most lasting impression we have of the house, but it’s all temporary and according to the style of the owner, right? If I hate the purple and want to do it up in a watermelon theme, I totally can, right? But when it comes to buying a home what really matters is what’s happening inside the walls and the foundation, right?

The Gospel of Jesus

But before I came to this main issue, we needed to ensure that this really was God’s original plan, so we spent two weeks going through Genesis 1 and 2 so we could see God’s establishment of Male and Female, husband and wife, before the Fall of Man, before sin messed everything up.

Why? Because this is a gospel issue. A couple weeks ago we said that the story of Jesus Christ is the story God’s plan of salvation – how He intends to fix the problem of sin once and for all. The Bible speaks of becoming a Christian as being born again (John 3:3; 1 Peter 1:23). It says that being in Christ means we are a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come (2 Cor 5:17). It speaks of being purified, redeemed, cleaned, and washed. And all that happens through faith in Jesus Christ as the risen Son of God. We believe that He died on the cross, taking our punishment on Himself, shedding his blood in place of ours, taking God’s wrath so we don’t have to, in order that we could be saved from the consequences of sin. And we further believe that this isn’t just about us, but all of creation being redeemed (Rom 8:20-23) along with us. Through Jesus, God is fixing all the things that sin has wrecked, destroying everything that is evil, and remaking everything to be good again. As 1 John 3:8 says, “The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.”

And that includes the relationship between men and women, which was terribly broken when sin entered the world. If you call when we studied Genesis 1 we saw how God made men and women the same in worthy of glory, power, dominion, honour, and calling. Then last week we saw that God also gave us important differences. God made Adam first, making him live without Eve for some time without her, and then introduced her as his complementary helper. We noted that He made Adam out of the dust like all other animals, but the woman was made out of a piece of the man, saying something very special about her and their relationship with one another. And we also noted that Adam named Eve, just as he had done with all of the other living creatures, and we said that in the Bible, naming something shows authority.

The Eternal Sonship of Jesus

It is that authority structure, the issue of Male Headship, that we see in our 1st Corinthians 11 passage – and it’s represented in the head coverings controversy.

It is God’s plan that man and woman are uniquely made in His image, unlike any other creature. That means a lot of things – our ability to love, be creative, be rational, be just, and make choices – but it also means that we are social. Humanity was made to be in fellowship. We see this in the mystery of the Trinity as it’s presented in the Bible. God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit, equal in essence, but distinct in person. The Father as God (Philippians 1:2), Jesus as God (Titus 2:13), and the Holy Spirit as God (Acts 5:3–4), but speaks of them all as separate persons. They have been in relationship for all eternity, and therefore it is no surprise that when God created an image bearer, that it would be a relational creature.

But something else that is part of God’s plan, and part of us being in the image of God, is that there is a divinely established authority structure. There is a Father and a Son. This is called the “Doctrine of Eternal Sonship” and it simply says that the Bible presents Jesus as having always existed as the Son. There was never a time when Jesus was not the Son of God, and there has always been a Father/Son relationship in the Godhead. Jesus didn’t merely assume this role when He came to earth, but is, and has always been the second person of the Godhead.

We won’t get into the full doctrine here, but it comes from all manner of passages (Colossians 1:13-36, Hebrews 1:2, John 20:21, Galatians 4:4, John 3:16, 16:28, Hebrews 13:8) and Christians have agreed on this for a long time. It’s in the Nicene Creed from 325AD which says that Jesus Christ is “eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, of one Being with the Father.”[1]

The point is that there has always been a hierarchical structure within the Godhead of the Trinity, and so when God created man in His image, He created that in us too. And he did so by making the man the head, as God is the head, and the female the one under his authority.

Back to our 1 Corinthians passage: Verse 2, “the head of every wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” Verse 7-10, “…man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.  That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.” It’s about reflecting the image of God in our lives and relationships.

Sin Ruined It

But then, in Genesis 3 we how when Adam and Eve ate of the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil everything changed. (Open with me there). The story opens with the tempter, Satan, manipulating the words of God and telling Eve that God has lied to her. Where is Adam? Where is the partnership? They are meant to help each other, to follow God together, but where is Adam? It says in Genesis 3:6 that Adam is standing right beside her, but he’s silent. He’s not leading, guarding, protecting, helping, correcting, or anything. He’s just standing there. He’s not doing what he should be doing. It wasn’t the eating of the fruit that was the first sin, the whole situation was kicked off by Adam’s sin.

One commentary I have says, “Adam’s sin was both an act of conscious rebellion against God and also a failure to carry out his divinely ordained responsibility to guard or ‘keep’ both the garden and the woman that God had created as a ‘helper fit for him’. The disastrous consequences of Adam’s sin cannot be overemphasized, resulting in the fall of mankind…”[2]

In verse 8 we read, “And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, ‘Where are you?’”

God already knew what had happened, of course, but who did God call out to? To head of the family, Adam. He was the one primarily responsible for what happened.

Keep reading, “And he [that is Adam] said, ‘I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.’ He said, ‘Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?’”

Watch carefully what happens next: “The man said, ‘The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.’ Then the LORD God said to the woman, ‘What is this that you have done?’ The woman said, ‘The serpent deceived me, and I ate.’”

God confronts the man and he totally blame shifts to both God and Eve. God confronts Eve and she blame shifts to Satan. The authority structure has completely fallen apart. Adam even tries to drag God into taking some blame. Now guilt and shame is spreading onto both of them as they squirm uncomfortably in front of God – and why? Because the head didn’t do his job. 1 Corinthians 15:22 says, “For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive.” Romans 5:12 says, “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all [men and women]…” Who takes the blame for the fall of man throughout all of scripture? Eve who ate first? No. Adam, the “head”. In 1 Corinthians 15 Jesus is called the “Second Adam”, the one who did it right. The first Adam caused sin to corrupt everyone and everything, and the Second Adam, Jesus, will cause everything to finally be made right again.

The Curse on Men and Women

All of this came because God’s created order, His established hierarchy, was disregarded and disobeyed. Can you see now the true sin that was happening in the Corinthian church? It wasn’t about head dresses, it was about the disrespecting, disregarding, and disobeying God’s established created order of authority between men and women, husbands and wives.

This sort of talk doesn’t fly outside of conservative, evangelical circles, does it? In fact, it goes against most of our natural inclinations, doesn’t it? Does that give you a certain gut reaction? It does for me.

Do you know why we have such a hard time with this? Look at Genesis 3:16 as God pronounces the curse that comes from their sin. The serpent receives the first curse, as the first one to act in disobedience to God. Then Eve, the next one to act, receives the second curse:

“To the woman he said, ‘I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.’”

Pain is a common theme in all three curses. The serpent’s crushed head, the woman in childbearing and childrearing, and Adam in his work. And though it affects all mankind, it is Adam who receives the curse of death. But there’s something else in the curse as well that I want you to notice: the woman’s curse impacts her two primary roles, in procreation and in her relationship with her husband.

In verse 15 we see that it is through the woman’s children that the serpent’s head will be bruised – pointing to Jesus, who would have a human mother, but whose Father was the Holy Spirit, not a man like Adam. But the other curse was in her relationship with her husband. From that point on the relationship between men and women would be strained and difficult.

The word desire is important there and it has 2 important meanings. It partly means that her “desire” will be for her husband, meaning women will have an inner drive to be with men for emotional support, protection, and for sexual fulfillment, and in order to make babies. It is also used in Genesis 4:7 to describe sin pulling Cain in the wrong direction. God says to Cain, “…sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.” Sounds a lot like Eve’s curse, doesn’t it?

So what’s happening in Eve’s curse here? Essentially it means that even though Eve desires to be with Adam just like they were in the Garden of Eden, now Adam and Eve, and all men and women after them, are going to have a lot of messed up, confusing, contrary, hurtful desires. Part of her will want to have Adam around, but then they are going to fight and argue and compete for domination. Instead of being perfect partners that complete and complement one another’s strengths, now her desires will conflict with to his. Now instead of men and women working together, they will be engaged in a battle to see who will rule. Adam will use his physical strength to subdue her and rule over her, she will resist and reject and seek to usurp him. Both, drawn together with mutual need and desire, but neither submitting to the other, each always thinking they are getting the short end of the stick, trying to oppress or control the other.

Conclusion

This is the curse of Genesis 3 and the main issue of 1 Corinthians 11:2-6. Paul was talking to Christians, to believers who had been set free from sin, imbued with the Holy Spirit, made new by their relationship with Jesus, set free from the curse, set free from all of this horrible battle of the sexes, and were meant to be restored back to the way that God had originally intended men and women to live together: equal in dignity, worth, respect, mission, dominion, gifting, and access to God. Not grasping for power or oppressing one another. Not asserting their dominance over the other. Not women trying to replace men and men trying to oppress women. Not trying to escape God’s plan for how the world is meant to work, but submitting themselves to it in a worshipful humility.

But, in the head coverings controversy, the women were showing that they were still living like people who were under the curse. Pridefully grasping for power and attention, having contrary desires that caused them to disobey and disrespect their husband and their God, promoting the confusion of the roles of men and women, disgracing themselves in the church, and disregarding their own place in God’s plan of salvation. They were acting like unbelievers.

My encouragement to you is the same as it has been for the past few weeks: To consider whether you are submitting to God in the area of the roles of men and women. To ask yourselves in what ways you are seeking to oppress, control, or subjugate the opposite sex, instead of thanking God and appreciating the differences He created. To consider your marriage and what ways you’ve allowed your own sinful nature to dictate your beliefs about how you are to relate to your husband or wife.

Men, have you, like Adam, relinquished your role as head of the family? Women, are you ignoring him and just doing whatever you desire?

Submit yourselves, your relationships, and your marriages to Christ. Ask for and receive forgiveness for your sins in the name of Jesus, and then ask Him to teach you how to live His way, not yours.

[1] https://www.gotquestions.org/eternal-Sonship.html

[2] ESV Study Bible

The Battle of the Sexes and God’s Original Plan (Part 2)

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45 - The Battle of the Sexes and God's Original Plan pt 2

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What you believe will dictate how you behave, that is a universal truism. If you change your beliefs you will transform your behaviour.

If a person doesn’t take care of their body says they know they should eat better and exercise, that they believe a healthy lifestyle is valuable but doesn’t actually eat veggies or get off their chair, can you truly say they believe what they say they know? Not really. But watch what happens when they have their first heart attack, or when they are diagnosed with type-2 diabetes – suddenly the excuses melt away and they are forced to confront their belief system and make some changes.

Or consider the student who tells themselves and everyone else that they are “studying”. They go to their room, check their phone, open their books, sharpen their pencil, go look for a highlighter, grab a snack, call a friend, look up the perfect study music on the internet, realize their desk is too cluttered so they tidy it up, but then they’re thirsty and need a drink, so they go to get some water, but really, they’re kinda tired so they should get some study fuel so they run out to get some Starbucks…. And all along the way people are saying, “hey, what are you doing today?” The student’s response, “I’m studying!”. “Then why are you at the store?” – “Oh, I’m just taking a quick break. Studying is hard work!” Part of them somewhat even believes it, right? But what happens when the test comes and they fail? They are forced to confront their actions. They are forced to confront whether they were really studying.

If you ask people what they believe about the roles of men and women in the church and in marriage you will get a lot of responses, based on a lot of beliefs, won’t you? People will quote verses, tell stories, share their personal understandings and beliefs, but how many of them actually believe what they are saying? How many of the things we actually say marriage line up to what we practice?

For example, take the simple phrase, “Men and women are equal.” A lot of people say they believe this, but do they? Are men and women equal? Well, if we define equal as being “the same”, then no, we’re not. Our bodies are obviously different, what with hormones and baby making system and all, but it’s not only that. According to neuroscientists, there are some considerable differences in how we see our world.[1] There’s no difference in intelligence between men and women, but they did learn that women are better at situational thinking and men are better at predicting patterns. Men are better at focusing on one task while women are better at multi-tasking. Women are better at picking up social cues and can empathize with what’s going on around them, while men are better at disregarding emotional distractions and rude behaviour and focusing on exact issues. Men are typically better at math than women. Women feel pain more intensely than men. Men are better with controlling their bodies movements and have faster reaction times, but women are better at discerning colours and learning languages and have better long-term memories than men. Men are better at short-term memory. Men get a rush of pleasure chemicals when they are faced with a risky situation. The bigger the challenge, the bigger the reward. Sexually, men are aroused mostly through their eyes, while women are more complex requiring multiple senses, ambiance, touch, scent, temperature, to get excited.

That’s pretty interesting, isn’t it? Now, I want you to be careful when you hear that because there was absolutely no judgment in any of those statements, yet we are conditioned by the society around us to be immediately offended by hearing that we are different – because the word “different” has become associated with “inferior”.

If a scientist says men are better at disregarding emotional distractions, focusing on one task then somehow it gets translated into, “Female emotions are bad.” If a scientist says, “Men are better at controlling their body and have faster reaction times.” it somehow gets turned into, “Women are bad at sports!” But that’s not what he said! He’s just reporting the facts. But when those facts get filtered through our belief system, we often end up with an emotional response. And when our sinful nature gets involved it turns into arguments, put-downs, contests, and hard feelings. We somehow, naturally turn the information turns into a battle of the sexes.

Review

But that’s not how God intended the relationship between men and women to be! The differences between us are not meant to be a source of contention, but a reason to worship God. They weren’t meant to drive us apart from each other, arguing about which set of strengths is better, but cause us to marvel at the differences and depend on one another. Men have strengths that women don’t have and women have strengths that men don’t have.

The laser focused, risk-taking man needs the balance of the woman’s ability to multitask and be emotionally and situationally aware – and the overwhelmed and harried woman who is seeing a million things the man doesn’t needs the man’s ability to predict patterns, establish priorities, and focus on one thing at a time. Of course, I’m speaking stereotypically, and not everyone is like this. I fully grant that there are lots of ways that this isn’t the hard and fast rule. Some men are more in touch with emotions, some women are amazing at math, some guys couldn’t hit a fastball to save their life, and some women are super driven and focused on achievement and their work – but hopefully, you see the point that we need each other’s differences. Or as a bunch of smart people at the TGC said it, “Men and women are not simply interchangeable, but rather they complement each other in mutually enriching ways.”[2]

And this is represented in scripture too, certainly in the 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 passage we’ve been studying for the past few weeks, but also in other passages in scripture. So what I want to take us to a few different places in scripture and then flesh the concept of the different roles of men and women, often called “complementarianism” out. But first, we’ll do a quick review of where we’ve already been.

On the first week, we talked about the authority behind the passage, citing everything from the authority of Jesus to how God biologically created men and women. The next week we studied the cultural context of the passage, discussing head coverings in ancient Corinth, what was happening in that particular church, and how that applies to us today. Last week we went back to Genesis 1 and talked about God’s original intention to make men and women equal in dignity, worth, glory, power, honour and dominion and the sin of disrespecting, subjugating, denying and ignoring one another. But I told you last week that wasn’t the whole picture. While Genesis 1 emphasizes our similarities, Genesis 2 retells the story of the creation of man and woman emphasizing our differences.

The Original Plan

So let’s open up to Genesis 2:5-25,

“When no bush of the field was yet in the land and no small plant of the field had yet sprung up—for the LORD God had not caused it to rain on the land, and there was no man to work the ground, and a mist was going up from the land and was watering the whole face of the ground—then the LORD God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. And the LORD God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed. And out of the ground the LORD God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil…. [skip to verse 15]… The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, ‘You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.’

Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’ Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”

God the Sculptor

I want to point out a few things here that tell us about how God intended men and women to understand and relate to one another, particularly husbands and wives, but also generally. Certainly, a lot of the language at the beginning of Genesis is poetic – it’s not a science textbook on genetics, but there are some incredibly important truths here. The whole narrative slows down and God is portrayed as a gardener, a sculptor, an artist, forming, designing, and bringing to life a very special portion of creation. Everything else He spoke into being, but now the picture is of him bending down, hand-crafting something special, like a potter working with clay.

This shows us something of the importance of living creatures, animals and mankind to God. He sees living creatures, especially mankind, different compared to everything else. Mountains and galaxies and flowers are beautiful, but they are not living creatures. And while animals are amazing, humans are His masterpiece, His image in the world. Here we see God forming out of the earth, out of the dirt, all living creatures – except one.

Something’s Not Right

Look at verse 18. Notice that Eve, woman, is not around yet. That’s not an accident. God had created every other animal in all creation with a mate, every flower had a way to reproduce, the cycle of life had been engaged for every part of the planet – but not for Adam. Was this an oversight on God’s part?

Obviously not, but wow, people have used thinking like that to torture this passage into a patriarchal, sexist, misogynist insult to women. They say this whole story was written by men, for men, so that they would have a religious reason to subjugate women. Is that what this is? Is this section an insult to women? No way!

Just as the story slows down and zooms into God’s artistic hands when He starts creating Adam, here we see the story start to build drama. A story is unfolding here and it’s meant to show us something very important. Adam pops onto the scene along with the animals, by God’s design, as a natural part of creation. He’s part of the creative order – but now something special happens. Instead of the story slowing down, the whole narrative of creation stops.

In verse 15 we see God take Adam and place him in the garden of Eden so he can work it and keep it. “Ok, Adam, here you go. Enjoy the garden, work it, eat whatever you want, except that tree over there… but have fun and get to work.”

And Adam’s out there doing whatever he’s supposed to be doing, right? He’s hoeing away, taste testing everything, petting the cats, figuring out how seeds work, or whatever, but something is “not good”. Those two words introduce drama into the story of creation. It brings the whole story to a stop. Everything up to this point has been “Good” and “very good”, but now, something is “not good”. What’s not good? What on earth is missing? What’s wrong? Adam is sinless, standing in the garden of Eden, in the most idyllic setting imaginable. The planet still has that new-car smell. But something is not good? What is it? Woman is missing.

Was this God’s oversight? We sometimes read it that way, don’t we? It’s like whenever I buy something from Ikea. I take it home, look at the plans, lay it all out, do my best, try to get it all right – but then when I step back to admire my work, it looks a little off. It’s too wobbly, it’s not good. So I go looking in the box and realize that I missed a piece!

That’s not what’s happening here. God doesn’t make mistakes, so what is happening here? God is grandly introducing the greatest part of creation, the best thing He will ever produce for Adam. He’s teaching Adam something important by making him go without for a little while. Look how it happens!

In verse 19 we are reminded, once again, that Adam and every other creature was made out of the dirt. They were all from the same stuff, living in the same land. And all of these creatures were paraded before Adam so he might see them and name them. Naming something designates authority.

We still do this today. What’s the first thing we do when we get a pet – or a new piece of equipment? What do we do after we create a piece of art or a new invention? Name it. Most of science involves finding and naming things. This shows our dominion over creation. Adam names a bunch of animals and it stirs something in him. There was no helper fit for him.

Wait a minute. Not a helper fit for him? Consider the options. Horse, elephant, badger, falcon, wolves… but nope. Wait, I’m forgetting someone important that was around. God! God was there. This was before the fall, before sin. God and Adam could speak face to face. He could ask God anything and it would be given to Him because there was no such thing as a wrong choice! But yet God had said it was not good for Adam to be alone, and after a time of working the garden and seeing all the animals, Adam knew it too. Adam felt alone, in Eden, standing next to God.

There was a longing in his heart that nothing on earth, even, for some reason, God, could not fill. I know that sounds strange to evangelical ears, but it’s right there. He looked to find a helper, He found none, and God Himself knew it was “not good”.

Longing For A Helper

What does that tell you about how much men need women? Why there is such a deep longing in our hearts for the love of our mothers, our sisters, our female friends, and our wives. This section doesn’t denigrate women, it lifts them up in the highest of esteem. There is nothing in the world equal to women! When God said “I will make a helper fit for [Adam].” our modern ears want to lower the value of that word. Who’s more important the man or his helper? We assume the man, right? But that word is the term EZER in Hebrew and does not signify a lesser relationship. It is the term used when neighbors and relatives help each other accomplish a task (Isa 41:6). It’s used when two nations make a political alliance or when military reinforcements join a fight (Ezra 10:15, Josh 10:4, 2 Sam 8:5). And it’s also used repeatedly of God who is our “helper” (Psalm 54:4; 118:7, 121). If it’s used of God, then it cannot be a negative term or one implying something that is lesser than the other.

God knew that Adam would need a helper. Soon Adam too would know he needed a helper, a partner, someone to alleviate his alone-ness and partner with him on the mission God had given him[3].

But he didn’t need another Adam. He needed someone suitable, or “fit” for him. That’s what God said, “I will make a helper fit for him.” That word means a corresponding part, the other piece of the puzzle, someone that had what God purposefully didn’t give him. There is no sense of subordination or subservience there. It is an equal partnership of people who are the same in worth. This doesn’t make men higher and women lower, it makes them partners. Their differences make them need each other, and working together makes them stronger than if they worked by themselves.

God The Surgeon

Now, look at verse 21. Notice that the picture of God changes. He is no longer a sculptor or a sculptor but a surgeon. The picture we have is of God anesthetizing the man, causing a deeper than normal sleep to come upon him so He could do something special.

The woman is not formed from dirt, like every other living creature. She is not spoken into being like the rest of creation. What is happening? The woman is taken out of man to show that they are not just made of the same substance, but united in a bond that goes beyond any other. Adam was formed from dirt, but so were alligators. Here we see something different. We see God showing us something special: The bond between men and women is different than anything else in all creation. God takes a piece out of man, and forms, or builds, the woman from it. The man was “formed” from dirt, the woman was “made or built” from man.

And from then on, God would work the miracle of creating His human images, not from dirt or ribs, but the children of mankind would be formed in the woman’s womb, built out of the same stuff, the same material as their parents. And what would bring this about? The physical, loving, intimate, sexual union of the man and the woman together in the covenant bonds of marriage. We see the first marriage ceremony take place in Eden and it was to form the system by which God would continue to spread His glory, His Image, throughout the world.

Conclusion                                                                                      

Next week we will get into verse 23, where man names the woman, and what that means about male headship, but I want to close for now saying that when I began today I said that “what you believe will dictate how you behave”.

I think everyone here agrees with that, but as I said, I wonder if your beliefs line up with what you are saying.

  • Do you believe that the Bible is the Word of God?
  • Do you believe God has the right to tell you how to view the relationship between men and women?
  • Do you believe you must submit yourselves to Him, despite what you think or have experienced?

If so, then what I’ve just taught you may require you to change your behaviour.

  • Do you believe that men and women are equally intelligent and equally worthy of respect – or do you value the opinion of one over the other?
  • Do you believe that God made men and women purposefully different and that those differences should be celebrated – or do you believe that to be different is to somehow be lesser?
  • Do you believe that the women you work, serve and worship with are a gift to mankind –that every part of society truly needs women – or do you believe that women are a hindrance to getting things done?

Of course, this works both ways, so I encourage you to think long and hard about your beliefs about the roles of men and women in this world and how you perceive them – to ask God to show you where you are biased for or against, where you have confused difference for inferiority, and to ask forgiveness for insulting God’s design and His image.

 

[1] https://stanmed.stanford.edu/2017spring/how-mens-and-womens-brains-are-different.html & http://www.fitbrains.com/blog/women-men-brains/ & http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2017/04/study-finds-some-significant-differences-brains-men-and-women

[2] https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/four-dangers-for-complementarians

[3] http://margmowczko.com/a-suitable-helper/

The Battle of the Sexes and God’s Original Plan (Part 1)

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Review

If you’ve been with us for the past 2 weeks hopefully you’ll remember how we’ve been building the foundation of understanding here. I’ve taken this one slowly because if we don’t build study this passage from the bottom up, it could be easily misinterpreted and therefore potentially damaging.

It’s easy to dismiss something if you think that it’s just cultural or from the “olden days”, right? Certainly, we’re all biased by preferring newer methods and means, but more-so when it comes to ancient cultures and practices. We eat modern diets, read modern books, use modern technology, and believe modern concepts – and the idea of importing and applying millennia old ideas doesn’t come naturally, so we require some pretty good reasons as to why it’s better or more authoritative.

So we started with the authority behind the passage. If this is cultural, then it’s changeable, but if it’s established in something that transcends culture, then we’d better pay attention. And if you recall, there were 5 of them. Whatever this passage is teaching is, as we see in verse 2, built on Apostolic Authority, which is to say, the same authority as Jesus. The second foundation, as we saw in verse 3, was the Trinity, or God’s established hierarchy. The third, as we saw in verse 8, was the foundation of Creation or God as Creator, going all the way back to before the fall of man in Genesis 3. The fourth foundation, as we saw in verse 12, was biology. The teaching here is rooted in God’s choice to make humans as male and female. And fifth, as we saw in verse 16, was common church practice – that this wasn’t a special teaching for the Corinthians, but a universal teaching for all churches everywhere.

So that was the first week. Last week we moved onto the cultural considerations or historical context for whatever is being said here. Even though the foundation of this passages teaching is beyond culture, we still have to understand the context of the writing, and so last week we studied head coverings and fashion in ancient Greek and Roman culture. This led us to understand the issue being addressed in this passage, that being the freedom that women were finding with their new relationship with Christ, the unique nature of the church being a place that considered men and women to be equal in dignity, worth, and access to God, had gotten out of control and the women were breaking with societal norms and doing away with the head coverings that their culture wore.

This helped us to understand that what Jesus is telling us, through Paul. The foundation of the passage was universal, but the issue was contemporary to the Corinthian church. So, their cultural issue, that of doing away with head coverings, was showing a something deeper – a problem of the heart. I said last week that the women in the church were experiencing an “intoxicating level of freedom in Christ” and that because they were human they had taken it too far. They had used their freedom to sin (Gal 5:13; 1 Peter 2:16) by disrespecting their husbands, disobeying Jesus, confusing new believers, and offending anyone who saw them.

Male Headship Controversy

But we’re not done with this passage yet. Foundationally, this was about breaking God’s divine standards. This showed up in a cultural way in the head coverings issue, but our interpretation of the passage is still missing a crucial part, and it’s something that I’ve been hinting at, but skipping past: and that is the issue of Male Headship.

How do you feel when I say that term? It likely depends on your age, your environment, your history, your education, and your knowledge of the Bible. We live in the modern and liberal nation of Canada, outside the very modern and very liberal city of Ottawa, and these two words are incredibly divisive right now. In fact, in a lot of places, with the rise of things like transgenderism and radical feminism, just using the term “Male Headship” would be considered hate speech.

That sounds radical doesn’t it? Like fear mongering. Well, here’s an example of what I mean: This is Kevin Arriola, a student at Ryerson University in Toronto. He’s seen some difficult things in his life and wanted to start the Men’s Issues Awareness Society. The invitation was to get some of the men and women at the school together to talk about some of the issues they’ve seen. Things like: male homelessness, the higher rate of suicide and incarceration, the declining performance of boys in academic settings, etc. Immediately, the feminist groups at the university flipped out, calling the group misogynist, anti-feminist, and ideologically dangerous. Within days, the student union shut them down. Ironically, half of the members of Kevin’s little group are women! In fact, the main team consists of Kevin and his social media director Alexandra! They’re fighting it right now, but it doesn’t look good.

My point behind sharing this story is to say that if a young man can’t start a discussion group un a university campus – the supposed bastion of learning and debate – about serious issues facing men today – then how do you think society is going to react to the words: “Male Headship”? Not well, right? It stirs up a lot of preconceptions and emotions, doesn’t it?

Therefore, we must be very careful when talking about this subject. We need to make sure that when we talk about it that we speak biblically, not passing along our own ideas, our history, our family upbringing, our culture, or assumptions about what we think the Bible says.

For Christians, we believe that God’s way is the best way, and therefore we pray and search the scriptures to see what He has to say and then submit ourselves to that – knowing that even if it goes against our feelings, history, preconceptions, culture, or desires, that it will be the best for human flourishing and bring God the most glory.

The Gospel

This is a gospel issue. The story of Jesus Christ, the good news (the gospel), is that Jesus Christ is using His power to restore everything to the way it should be. As Jesus says in Revelation 21:5, “Behold, I am making all things new!” This is why we talk about being born again, washed clean, or regenerated. God the Father made everything perfect, but then humans sinned and messed it up. But through Jesus death on the cross, He has broken the power of sin and is not only saving individuals, but redeeming them, delivering them from sin and darkness, and sanctifying them, taking out their sinful heart of stone and replacing it with a holy heart of flesh. And the story of the gospel is that He’s doing the same thing to the whole world.

That’s why Romans 8:20-23 says,

“For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.” (ESV)

Sin messed up all of creation, and just as Christians have an inward groan and longing to be “set free from our bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of… glory…” waiting eagerly for our final redemption, so does everything else. We hate how messed up the relationships between men and women are, and we want it to be better. And it isn’t merely education that is going to fix it. It can only come from God through the work of Jesus Christ.

The Battle in Our Current Context

We’ve seen a lot of problems and confusion with male female relations over the past little while haven’t we. On one hand we have Harvey Weinstein who has been accused of entrapping, raping, molesting, and all kinds of other horrible behaviour to women in Hollywood. And then on the other hand we have the death of Hugh Hefner, the creator of a publishing empire built on the sexual objectification of women. Both of these men are predators, using their money and influence to take something very precious. But for some reason, though Hefner was an abusive rapist predator just like Weinstein, he was heralded by the media. It shows just how confused the culture is about male female relations.[1]

But it’s not just non-believers and ultra-left Hollywood that is confused, is it? The Christian church doesn’t get off scott free. Recently a #ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear hashtag went around social media, and while some of it was ridiculous, some of it was really sad to read. The history of Christianity is full of all kinds of rebellion, oppression and domination. I still remember 2008 when I preaching a series based off some curriculum called “They Like Jesus, but Not the Church”. Dan Kimball had interviewed a whole bunch of twenty and thirty year olds and asked them what they had against Christianity. And one of those common objections was that the Christian church has a reputation for restricting and oppressing women.

And sadly, that’s been true in some cases as men take biblical passages like this one today, and others, misinterpret them, misapply them, and use them to harm women. Sure, as we’ve seen in our Corinthian context, this can happen in reverse as women use scripture to wrongly too, but a lot of the guilt falls on the shoulders of men.

This is likely why the term “Male Headship” creates such a visceral, instinctive, gut fear reaction. It’s because the church has often done a very poor job in seeking to understand and apply these passages properly. Men take it as permission to oppress women, and some women see it as a command from God to allow themselves to be disrespected and subjugated. This is where we get ideas like women are supposed to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, where men can demand sex whenever they want and the women aren’t supposed to enjoy it, where men are better managers and women better parents – all of which is unbiblical garbage. It’s a mess of wrong interpretations, which is why we need to be so very careful.

The Original Plan

This frustration between men and women, husbands and wives, is sometimes called “the battle of the sexes”. Where does that come from? Unsurprisingly, it comes from sin. This isn’t God’s doing, it’s ours. Let’s look at how God created it in the beginning. Open with me to Genesis 1:26-31 because I want to show you something very special and very important.

In Genesis 1, when God was creating everything, He did it in a very purposeful, very meaningful, way. First He did big things, like separate light and darkness, divide the earth and sky and space, and then He filled those big things with stars and planets, plants, birds, and land and water creatures. And then, pausing there, God began a special creation unlike any other.

Take a look at this: “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.’” It’s no accident here that God presents himself as a plurality. “Let us… after our…” God is speaking to Himself, to the Trinity. God the Father, addressing Jesus Christ the Son, through whom John 1:1-3 says all creation was made, and by whom Colossians 1:17 says all things are held together. They are a plurality of oneship; all equally worthy of glory, power, dominion, and honour – and yet distinct in their roles.

And so it should surprise us that when the creation that reflects His image would also be a plurality – male and female, both equal in glory, power, dominion and honour – and yet distinct in their roles.

Now look at verse 26 again,

“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’”

Who gets dominion over the earth? The word “man” as in “make man in our image” is the inclusive term for mankind – both men and women. And then it says, “let them have dominion…” Who gets dominion? “Them”.

There’s a great scene in the original, and better, Jurassic Park where three of the main are sitting in the jeep staring out at some of the dinosaurs and one of the men says quietly, “God creates dinosaurs, God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man, man destroys God, man creates dinosaurs.” The woman continues the thought and says, “Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.”

And while this is a great quote in in the movie it also betrays a common misunderstanding of what we’re seeing here in Genesis. A lot of people think it says that God gave the whole world to Adam and everything else, including women, are subject to Him, but that’s not what it says. God gave dominion of the world to both.

Let’s keep reading in verse 27:

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

God, in His second commandment, says that there shall be no idols made of Him. Why? Because Genesis 1 is clear that both men and women are created in the image of God, and like a two piece jigsaw puzzle, it is only when they come together that they complete image. We don’t need a gold or stone image of God because humanity is God’s image!

Genesis 1 is almost all plural! Both men and women, all mankind are given equal dominion, equal rights, equal blessings, and given the same commandments. Look at verse 28:

“And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” And God said, ‘Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.’” (ESV)

“It was very good.” Men and women, equal in dignity, worth, glory, power, honour and dominion. Both given the charge to enjoy the world God had created, to work it together, to be together in love and harmony, cultivating the earth, spreading God’s Garden Temple across the entire planet, and populating it with the fruit of their love, generations and generations of children who would all worship and enjoy the perfect presence of God. All the “you’s” in that passage are plural, God’s blessings and commandments are given to both Adam and Eve, man and woman, together. Not just Adam.

To Be Continued

But then, if you’ve read your Bibles at all, you’ll realize that you get this story again in Genesis 2. Why is that? Why do we read about Adam and Eve being created in Genesis 1 and then again in Genesis 2? Is it just a repeated story for effect? No, it’s because we are learning through those stories, in their similarities and differences, about God’s design for men and women, especially husbands and wives. Genesis 1 emphasizes our similarities, Genesis 2, our differences.

I wish I had time to complete this study, but we’re going to have to continue it next week. I’m told that my sermons are getting too long and the pews are too uncomfortable, so I need to cut things short, but let me end with this: We lose a lot of blessings when we engage in the battle of the sexes and refuse to submit to God’s teaching about male and female relations. Everyone loses out when humanity disrespects, subjugates, denies, or ignores each other – men or women.

I just sat in a two day Leadership conference and was surrounded and taught by some amazing women. There were some seniors, but I was amazed by how many younger women there were. Some were in business suits, others in fashionable dresses, others in jeans, and a few even had nuns habits, but all were there to learn how to be a better leader in their job and community.

One woman speaker, Sheryl Sandberg, is the COO of Facebook and spoke not only on leadership and hiring issues, but also on how to move forward after we face difficult challenges in life. Another very successful woman, Juliet Funt, spoke in the importance of not only being focused and doing hard work, but also balancing work with meditation and family life. Angela Duckworth has an incredible amount of education and spoke about passion and perseverance. Immaculee Ilibagiza shared an amazing testimony about her experience during the Rwandan genocide and the power of forgiveness.

It would be sheer insanity for anyone to deny that these were all very gifted, strong, intelligent, creative women that everyone – both men and women – ought to listen to. And yet, in the church today there are people who will simply refuse to listen to women, in so many areas, even silencing them, believing them to be somehow inferior to men. Men and husbands, mocking their wives and daughters, dismissing their opinions, gifts, talents, and desires, simply because they are female. That’s not how we God intended us to be together, and it is sin.

My encouragement to you today, whether you are male or female, is to look inward and ask yourself if you are engaged in the battle of the sexes. Are you biased against women? Have you been taught, or somehow come to the conclusion, that women are somehow lesser than men, or that men are somehow lesser than women?

Do you, deep down think men are stupid and women smart (or vice versa) That a woman is less trustworthy than a man (or vice versa)? Do you think women are more loving and better parents then men, men are better at leadership and management? Women are too emotional, men too angry, women too talkative, men too stubborn, women too anxious, men too childish, men too worried about sex, women too worried about looks?

I challenge you to submit these assumptions to God, to pray about them, and to ask if they are biblical – or if you’ve simply allowed sin to dictate your beliefs about others and are actually biased and engaged in battle with the other gender. Then we’ll talk more next week.

[1] https://www.theguardian.com/media/2017/sep/28/hugh-hefner-playboy-founder-91-dark-side