This is the last sermon of our Stewardship mini-series and today we’re going to talk about the stewardship of testimony – or our life-story. This is one that a lot of people forget about because it doesn’t jump out as obvious. Financial management? Everyone knows that’s important. Time management? Sure, that’s something we all need to know. Using our skills and abilities properly? It makes sense to talk about that. But what does it mean to Steward our Testimony well?
It means, just as we’ve been saying, that we recognize that one of the gifts we are given by God – just like time, talents, and treasure – is our life-story, our testimony, the narrative that other people are reading in our lives.
At the beginning of the book of Acts in the Bible, right before Jesus ascends into heaven, He says to His followers, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” (Acts 1:8) He says, wait for me to come and give you the Holy Spirit, and when you have received that gift, I will send you to tell the story of what I’ve done for you to others. I will give you power and then you will tell your story.
At Pentecost, during the birth of the church, when thousands of people had come to saving faith in Jesus and were meeting together, it says in Acts 4:33, “And with great power the apostles were giving their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all.”
And at the end, of the Bible, in Revelation 12:9–11, when Satan is defeated and his powers destroyed it says,
“And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world—he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, ‘Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.’”
Who conquered? It says “they have conquered”. It’s plural? Who’s they? Who has the power to overthrow the accuser? The believers, the witnesses, the martyrs of the faith, those who kept the faith. What was their weapon? “The word of their testimonies” that showed that when faced with the choice between denying Jesus or death, they replied with the testimony that Jesus is their salvation and they will not deny Him. The story of their faith in Jesus, their testimony, was the weapon that God used to destroy the power of Satan.
Care in Living
This means two important things, first that we need to be careful in how we live because our story can also work against us. Have you ever seen a video of a professional martial artist using nunchucks? It’s pretty awesome to watch. Now, have you ever seen a video of a dude that has no idea how to use them? It’s painful to watch.
Your testimony is like that. It’s a powerful weapon, but if you don’t watch yourself, it can turn on you and cause you, your family, and everyone else pain. How you live, the choices you make, and the words you use are going to have a powerful effect. The only question is what results that power will have – good ones or bad ones.
But I don’t want to dwell on that part today, instead, I want to spend the majority of our time talking about what happens when we are brave enough to share our testimonies with others when we pluck up the courage to share our stories. I’m not talking about things you need to memorize, or beads or colours or books or tracts, I’m talking about your story, the one you can tell off the top of your head, right now. That has power.
Now, this is going to be a little bit different of a sermon because instead of telling you a lot about what I mean, I want to show you.
A Natural Story – Coffee Shop
Two quotes stand out from that: The first is “I got to share my story.” I love how she put that. “I got to…” At Christmas, we ask people, “What did you get?” to find out what their presents were. “I got a toy, I got a movie, I got a game”. When Russel walked in, God gave her a gift and she got to share her testimony. She didn’t “have to”, she didn’t “need to”, she didn’t “want to” – she “got to”. It was like God wrapped up Russell with a box and bow and gave it to her – and sharing that story got her excited. So excited that whenever she sees Russell chasing after Jesus, it gets her excited again!
We often perceive telling our testimonies as arduous, robotic, official. We see ourselves holding a microphone, or sitting in a circle in a group, or standing on a street corner, or memorizing a script to share with a group or online, but that’s not what sharing our testimony is about. It’s a gift from God that happens in a moment, in regular places. It happens during a trip to the grocery store, when a friend is over, when you meet someone on the street when you’re talking to your friends, your kids, and grandkids. Sometimes those moments just pop up and you have a chance to share a little bit about what God has done for you, what Jesus means to you, why you believe what you believe. And there’s no getting that wrong. You’re just telling them your story about you and Jesus. And whether you believe it or not that story is very powerful.
The second quote that stood out is “I love hanging out with believers because I get encouraged – but I love hanging out with unbelievers.” This is a young girl with a bit of a past. She hasn’t always followed Jesus as she should and was getting sucked into a bad lifestyle. What did she learn? Two things I see: First, that she needed to be around other believers for encouragement, accountability, and support – but also, that she didn’t need to lock herself away from the world. She didn’t evaporate from her friends but instead had the courage to share her testimony with them.
Have you ever tried a new tool or game or cleaning product or lotion that you thought was great? You had dry hands and now you don’t. You couldn’t do something before, now you could. You could never get that stain off, now you can. What do you do? Tell your friends, right?
Now, I’m not saying that Jesus is a product that will fix all your woes, all I’m saying is that it’s natural to share the things we’re excited about with our friends – and it’s natural for them to be happy with us.
But have you ever been in an MLM or worked as a salesperson for some company where they told you to “work your network”, so you call your friends for coffee and at some point have to shoehorn in an awkward transition to talking about some vitamin pill or milkshake or something that you want to sell them. That feels awful, doesn’t it? They hate it, you hate it… What’s the difference? Internal motivation. In the first one you are sharing something you are excited about, something that helped you, something they don’t know about, something you know they need – the other one is a forced presentation about something that will get you points with your boss or make you some money. One is natural, the other is artificial.
Your testimony, the story that God is writing in your life when shared naturally, is beautiful, attractive, interesting, and powerful. When shared artificially and forced, it doesn’t work.
Listen to 2 Corinthians 2:14-16,
“But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life.”
Smells are powerful. Aromas can trigger memories and draw us in like nothing else can. One whiff of a certain smell and your hungry, or back in kindergarten, or you want to sing Christmas songs. A coffee shop is a place where there are a lot of awesome smells. Coffee, baking, steamed milk – but as Shay sat at her table for 5 hours per day, she was giving off a different kind of aroma. Her little “I Am Second” sticker wasn’t the trick – God had made her like a scented candle and she emitted something people wanted to know more about.
A Courage Story – Reconciled Marriage
That story required courage. Sometimes sharing our story requires a lot of courage. There’s nothing like the courage required to give an honest testimony about your struggles. Robyn must have been terribly embarrassed to tell the story of how her husband committed adultery. For Donny to admit what he’d done to his wife was hard enough, to humble himself before her was monumental – but the task of sharing that story with the world? That requires massive amounts of courage, honesty, and humility. Why humility? Because they gain nothing by doing it. It’s a huge risk with no earthly rewards. They gave God all the credit. A Christian testimony that gives God all the credit requires courage.
It’s easy to tell a story about something awesome you did. That’s what Social Media is all about. It is so much harder to say, “I’m a sinner, I messed up bad, I’m not strong, and everything I did only messed it up more. It’s my fault and I’m hurt, I’m scared, I’m sad, and I am powerless. I thought I had answers, but I didn’t. So I threw myself, my problem, my need, at the foot of the cross and asked God to take over – not just for help, not just for a miracle, not for an answer – but to totally take over my life, my heart, my plans, my future, and I just promised to do whatever He said to do. And all the good that has come since is all His doing, not mine.”
You show yourself to be the sinner, Jesus gets the credit for being the Saviour. You look bad, He looks good. You’re the screw up, He’s the rescuer. You’re the idiot, He’s the answer. Remember the passage in Revelation: “they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony”. Jesus did the work of shedding His blood on the cross. Jesus does the work of saving – our work is simply to believe it and tell the story of what He did for us. Jesus did the work to fix their hearts and marriage, they were willing to tell the story – first to each other, then to others.
Us having the courage to tell our stories sets people free. So I’m telling you that mess you got yourself into, the pain you felt, the damage you did, isn’t an irredeemable wasted time. It’s now part of your story. It’s the introduction to you telling people how much you need Jesus.
No Story Is Off Limits – Multiple Miscarriages
God. I’m not saying we have to dump our emotional truck on everyone all the time, but just like we don’t get to hold back our time, money, or abilities from God – and that they are meant to be used for His glory and His kingdom – so we don’t get to hold back part of our testimonies. They aren’t ours, they are God’s – even the really, really hard parts – maybe, especially the really, really hard parts.
Talking about the pain of their miscarriages, the fear associated with pregnancy, and the hurt that both Shannon and her husband still carry within them are some of the most intimate topics imaginable. They are hot-button issues that most people avoid talking about except with private counsellors and doctors who are sworn to secrecy. But these stories need to be told.
One of the lies that Satan tells everyone is that they are alone. No one understands, no one has the problem you have, no one has ever faced that issue, no one can help. But it’s a lie. You are surrounded, right now, by people who have been through some very difficult, very painful things, and God has brought them through it. Some of you here have been through hell and back about some very personal, very intimate, very socially awkward things – things that almost no one talks about. And you carry that secret pain around with you every day hoping, praying that no one will ever find out.
But that’s a lie too. The strength doesn’t come from pushing your story into a box in your soul and trying to forget about it, the strength comes from letting it out and sharing it with others.
Listen to the words of James 5:13–16,
“Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”
This passage is all about taking the cork off the bottle of your soul, cracking open that treasure chest in your heart, and letting the Christians around you into your life by telling them your story. Are you sad? Go to prayer and talk to God about it. And this isn’t just private prayer, but also asking other trusted people to pray for you by telling them what’s going on. How can obey God’s command to bear one another’s burdens if we don’t know them (Gal 6:2)?
Are you having a good day? Sing praise… but not just by yourself, with others! Tell us what’s going on and we’ll sing with you. Are you sick? Tell people so they can come pray for you and help you. Have you messed up your life and committed sin? Tell people so they can speak truth to you, pray for you, and help you heal.
This is something a lot of people don’t understand. They pray for victory over sin, pray for healing, pray for peace, pray for joy – but it doesn’t come because they don’t obey this scripture. The healing comes as we share our stories with one another. That’s what this says.
An Infectious Story – Give God Control
For a young man to give a public testimony that says, sex, drugs, drinking, and power were things that kept me far from God is huge. I’m not even talking about his conversion, I’m simply talking about his willingness to tell the world that his life is now under God’s authority – that’s dangerous to do. That kind of truth telling loses friendships, confuses family members, goes against the grain of society and popular thinking.
But did you notice what really had an effect on him? He said at one point,
Thank God Tyler didn’t go to one of those churches that sees someone sin and then ostracizes them, makes them feel bad, kicks them out, and then shuns them. Think of this kid. He’s a teenager who went to church for as far back as he could remember. He is well known there. And then one day he loses his way, screws up his life, and gets caught by the police doing something bad with some girl. The whole community knows. His parents are embarrassed. And somehow, he goes back to church!
What does he see there? A group of people who know they are sinners saved by Jesus, and who are willing to shared their stories with another messed up sinner. The testimony of their lives, their joys, and the support they gave one another at church made Tyler thirsty for God, thirsty for righteousness, thirsty for purity, thirsty for joy.
There are people who desperately need to hear from you that you are a sinner. They need you to step off your tower, break out of that painted shell you have around you, and simply say, “You know what? I’m a sinner too. I’m a mess too. Here’s what I used to be. Here’s what I currently struggle with. Here’s what’s happening in my head when I’m alone. Isn’t it awesome that Jesus still loves both of us? Isn’t it awesome that Jesus accepts us? Isn’t it amazing that Jesus forgives us? I’m not alone. You’re not alone. We’re both sinners. Let’s enjoy God’s forgiveness together.”
So, that little video is a reminder of what we’ve been studying over the past while, especially last week where we looked at Jesus teaching in Matthew 6 about how we ought to be setting our priorities when it comes to stewarding our treasures (meaning our finances and possessions). The biggest thought there was that our relationship with our money and stuff is directly connected to our relationship with God.
Last week we studied Matthew 6:19-24 where Jesus teaches us about the folly and spiritual danger of storing our treasures on earth, about the darkness that creates in our souls, and how believers simply cannot ride the fence in this matter. He says in verse 24, “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.”
This week I want to continue that study by moving on to verse 25 and look the conclusion of what Jesus was teaching in that sermon. Let’s open there and read:
What’s the Therefore There For?
Ok, so pause there a second. Whenever we see a “therefore” in the Bible, we always have to ask ourselves what it’s there for. Usually, it’s a way to tie the previous teaching to the next, and often, that next teaching is an application. The author will make a theological truth claim and then what we’re supposed to do with that truth.
In 2 Genesis we read about the truth about the creation of man and women. That section concludes with the application, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Gen 2:24) The relationship between man and woman, under God, makes its application in marriage.
In Exodus 4, God calls Moses to the burning bush to tell him that he’s going to be His messenger to Pharaoh. Moses comes up with a bunch of excuses about how he can’t talk good, which God refutes with a bunch of theological truths, and then says, “Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.” (Exo 4:12)
And of course, the New Testament is full of them, especially Romans. It’s a deeply theological book, teaching a lot about how God works, but it almost always ends in an application.
Romans 1:22–23 concludes a long theological statement about how sin leads to idolatry and darkness of heart: “Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.” We then read what happens when that darkness of heart is applied: “Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves…” Idolatry of heart leads to the impurity of mind and body.
But in Romans 4:24-25 we read the theological truth claim that Jesus work on the cross did everything necessary to appease God’s wrath against sin, “It will be counted to us who believe in him who raised from the dead Jesus our Lord, who was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification.” Which leads to the practical application of the next verse, 5:1: “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” If what this says about what Jesus did is true, then the application of our faith to it means that we are no longer under God’s wrath, but are at peace.
That’s why we stop for a moment whenever we read a “Therefore” in the bible. It’s usually a key point that’s about to be made.
So here in our passage today we read the theological truth claim comes before: Worrying about your earthly treasures will fill you with darkness and cause you to hate God. Concern about your treasures in heaven will fill you with light and cause you to love God.
So what’s the practical application of that thought? Let’s read the whole thing together:
“Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
So, what’s the “therefore” there for? What’s the practical application? “Don’t be so worried about your treasures – or don’t be anxious about your needs.”
From the world’s perspective, and unfortunately, many Christians share this perspective, living without worrying about money is insanity. I think especially of the kids that are graduating high school soon, or within the next few years. Within the culture, there is this automatic reflex to ask these kids what they are going to be and to lay upon them all the anxieties of the world.
If we ask a child what they want to be when they grow up we used to give them latitude to give any answer they like: fireman, veterinarian, astronaut, doctor, scientist, race car driver, bus driver, an artist, a dinosaur…. but at some point, not too long in their future, many adults around them start to feel like it’s their responsibility to tell them the economic reality of that decision.
“Sorry, Johnny, I know the big yellow bus is cool, but being a bus driver doesn’t pay enough. And being a race car driver isn’t realistic, the lessons cost a lot of money, so do entry fees and travel and the car is worth millions, so you shouldn’t do that either. Being an artist doesn’t pay at all, so maybe do that as a hobby once you get a real job. And sure, you could be a doctor or an astronaut, but that means going to school for a really long time, and school costs money… and that’s why, Johnny, you can’t have a new bike.”
But the pressure gets worse in High School. As they reach graduation age all these 17-18-year-olds are not only supposed to know what they are going to do for the rest of their lives but also commit to training in a career for 3-4 years at the expense of tens of thousands of dollars – usually loaned to them. And heaven-forbid they say, “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure”… or worse, get two years in and realize that they don’t want to do that anymore, because then their 19 or 20 years old, have no job because they’ve been going to school, and are 20 thousand dollars in the hole.
So, starting when their 15 or 16, the guilt trip starts, right? How does every conversation go? “Mom and Dad, can I go to the movies tonight?” “No, you need to get your rest because you need to do better in school, because you need to get better grades, so you can get into a good university, so you can get a good career, so you can make lots of money, so you and I never have to worry about your financial future.”
“Mom and Dad, I’m really tired and stressed out. Can I spend time with my friends?” “Sorry, honey, that’s how life is. You don’t see me hanging out with friends, do you? You’re on 2 sports teams and in three clubs and doing after-school programs and volunteering because – you need a good transcript, so you need to get into a good university so you can get a good career so you can make lots of money….”
“Mom and Dad, I’m freaking out. I got so stressed out that I developed an eating disorder, got addicted to drugs, and started hanging out with some stoners that just let me exist rather than stressing me out and guilt tripping me all the time.” “Oh, no! Now your grades are bad, and your transcript is bad, and you’ll never get into a university, and you won’t get a good career, so you can’t make lots of money…. You have to clean up your life!
“Why, Mom and Dad? What does a cleaned up life look like?”
“Well, honey, it looks… anxious, stressed out, money and career driven. It looks like being a good consumer, making lots of cash so can buy lots of things and run away from your job for 2 weeks per year to go somewhere warm. It looks like a failing marriage, distant children, shallow friendships, and an empty spirit. It means not being able to sleep because you’re worried about the bills. It means ruining your reputation so you can get ahead.
It means yelling at your family and making them the enemy whenever things get tight. Who threw away the bread crust?! Why do you use so much toothpaste?! Why are all these lights on?! You’re not allowed to be sick today, I have to go to work! Don’t you know how expensive these things are?
It means putting off enjoying everything until some magic day in the future. Don’t enjoy your teen years because you need to worry about your future. Don’t enjoy your 20s because you need to be worried about your grades and career. Don’t enjoy your 30s because you need to worry about your job and accumulating enough stuff to impress your friends and hopefully a mate. Don’t enjoy your 40s because you need to worry about paying your bills and feed your family. Don’t enjoy your 50s because you need to worry about retirement. Don’t enjoy your 60s because now money is tight because you didn’t save enough or you added mortgages and a bunch of debt in your 40s and 50s so you need to find a job as a Walmart greeter or fast-food cashier. Then you can, maybe, spend your evenings watching tv. That’s the life I want for you, kid. Doesn’t that sound great?”
That’s insane, isn’t it? Why do we do that to our young people? Why do we do that to ourselves? But that’s what life looks like when our treasure is on earth and our greatest anxieties are about money. Instead of raising children of good character, and instead of pursuing good character ourselves, what do we pursue – career, money. Career wins over character in so many of our homes. I overhear it in so many conversations.
How many of you can say this: “I don’t care what my child or my grandchild does. I don’t care if they pump gas, pick garbage, dig ditches, or flip burgers – just so long as they are people of godly character who love God and love others.”
Now make it about you. Can you honestly say this about yourself: “I don’t care what I do for work. I don’t care if I stock shelves, sell used cars, or mix paint at home hardware – just so long as I’m developing godly character and have the opportunity to worship God and love others.”
Can you say that? Most can’t. Why? Because they are anxious about their life, what they will eat, what they will drink, about their bodies, and what they will wear (Mt 6:25).
Relieving The Anxiety
So how do we get out of that trap? How do escape the culture and relieve the anxiety of having to worry so much about money, career, future – and stop putting so much pressure on ourselves and others? Why shouldn’t we be anxious?
Because Jesus says not to be. Because we believe Jesus’ “therefore”. We believe what Jesus says. We trust that Jesus is telling us the truth here.
Let’s follow the argument that Jesus gives here, starting at verse 25. What is Jesus’ first premise? Your life is about more than food and clothing. What’s Jesus second premise? Look at verse 26. God knows your needs and will provide them.
Then, after giving evidence for this truth claim using nature as His example – God feeds the birds and you’re worth more to Him than a bird. God clothes the lilies, and you’re worth more to Him than a flower. – Jesus ties the two premises together by restating the theological truth claim as a conclusion in verses 31-32. If all this is true about God, then “Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.”
And then we read the practical application of what this looks like when the rubber hits the road in verse 33, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
The “But” there is mean to contrast what the gentiles (or unbelievers, people who don’t know God) do. Instead of being anxious like an unbeliever, act like a believer. What does acting like a believer look like? Seeking God’s kingdom and his righteousness.
So, let’s put that all together with some simpler terms. Premise 1: Life is about more than money. We demonstrate that by where we put our faith – God or money. Premise 2: God knows what you need. We demonstrate that by allowing God to provide rather than being anxious. Therefore, if we believe that, then we must say that God’s priorities are more important than ours. Therefore, if we follow God and pursue righteous living (seeking God’s kingdom), then God will provide for us. Therefore, the righteous don’t need to be anxious about their needs.
This is how, logically, what we believe about God is directly connected to our anxiety about money – which is directly connected to our attitudes and behaviours. If we have faith and trust God, then our anxiety decreases and our attitude and behaviour improve. If we lack faith and don’t trust God, then our anxiety increases and our attitude and behaviour get worse.
Why Should We Be Anxious?
Sometimes it helps if we look at the contradictory, opposite logic. So, let’s do that. We’ll work through the same premises, but in mirror. So, why should we be anxious?
Premise 1: Life is about the survival of the fittest, gathering food, clothing, shelter, and stuff to protect us – and competing with others for those resources.
Premise 2: God doesn’t know our needs and refuses to provide.
Usually, these people give evidence in nature too. Fire, floods, earthquakes, famine, drought, wars. The planet is out of control and tomorrow may bring ruin.
When we tie those together, all the stuff that God and the Bible say about righteousness, good living, being generous, trying to be holy, is ridiculous and makes zero sense.
Therefore, the only way to be safe is to lie, cheat, steal, enslave, use people, ruin our relationships, and selfishly hoard things, and do whatever is necessary to keep it safe. Therefore, since it’s survival of the fittest, the first thing to seek is whatever makes you more powerful and secure, and to sin in whatever way you can to get ahead, because we’re all on our own. Therefore, everyone should be way, way more anxious about not only today but tomorrow – because we have no idea what’s coming.
Which way do you live? Anxious and stressed out, cutting corners and cheating to get ahead, not sharing, avoiding spiritual development because it’s wasting your time, not caring about your purity, because it doesn’t matter since God doesn’t know or care.
Or, do you trust Jesus when he says, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Mt 6:33)
Jesus says it this way to all us anxious people later in Matthew 11:28–30 is, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Let’s close: In the desert, the Israelites were given manna from heaven every day. They couldn’t store it up because it would go bad at night. They had to trust God every day. They grumbled and complained and tried to make piles of it, but it rotted – and every day God still provided. In the Lord’s Prayer Jesus teaches us to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread” (Mt 6:11) because a believer acknowledges that this is all we need. Too much or too little poisons our souls. In Proverbs 30:7-9 the wise teacher prays, “Two things I ask of you; deny them not to me before I die: Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest I be full and deny you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God.”
His prayer is simply for God to give him what is necessary to live a holy and righteous life – because anything else is spiritually dangerous.
The final thing I want to show you this morning is a clip from May 20, 2000. It’s one of the most famous modern sermons, known as John Piper’s “Seashells” message. This message exploded off the platform and has ripple effects to this day. I want to end with this clip which I hope you will watch prayerfully.
We’re wrapping up a couple series’ over the next few weeks here. We’re at the tail end of our 1 Corinthians study, studying the final chapter. The first couple verses of that chapter became a jumping off point for a mini-series about “stewardship”, the wise and godly use of all the good gifts that God has given us.
On the first week of our stewardship series, we covered some of the ways the Christian church has gotten a bad reputation for how we use and ask for money, explained the historical background of this passage, and talked about why churches gather weekly collections. This led to a discussion of the importance of developing a lifestyle habit of generosity –holding our lives, skills, and possessions loosely and allowing God to dictate how they are to be used. The big question was to ask ourselves if God’s love is reflected in not only our words but our deeds.
This led to a conversation about how to steward our whole lives in a Christian way, using our time, talents, treasure and testimony for God’s glory. We asked some important questions last week and were challenged to clarify in our own hearts how we see ourselves, our stuff, and the people around us.
If you recall, I said the first question of Stewardship is always, “Whose is it?”. When we look at the time we have been given in a day, the abilities and skills we possess, the wealth we have, and all the things that have happened to us that have created the story of our lives, before we do anything with it, Christians must first ask themselves, “Whose is this?”. Whose time is this? Whose talent is this? Whose treasure is this? If our answer is “It is God’s” then that changes everything about how we use it.
The second question Christians must ask themselves is, “What am I supposed to do with it?” If we acknowledge that what we have is God’s first, then the next, logical question is, “What does He want me to do with it?” That led to a study of Jesus’ “Parable of the Talents” where the was, in its most basic form: God wants us to do “something” with it. The big lesson was that the third steward was condemned because he did nothing with his talent.
This led to talking about how what we do with our lives and our stuff is directly connected to how we see God. If we believe God is generous, then we will be generous with others. If we believe God will provide for us, then we will be more kind with others. But, if we believe God is stingy, holding back on us, keeping us in want, then we will be stingy with others, hold back on them, and hold tightly to what we have.
Before we keep going though, please watch this:
Jennifer said that she thought that money was the answer to her problems. What problems were those? They were ones based on fear. She was afraid that her husband wouldn’t love her so she used the acquisition of wealth to keep her husband happy. She was afraid of people seeing her badly, so she used money to look wealthy. She was afraid her friends would leave her, so she used her money keep her friendships. That fear overtook her life as she constructed higher and higher walls, making a barricade out of money and things to protect her from the fears inside her.
By God’s grace, she lost that money and that caused her to have to rethink everything about her view of security and wealth and become a different person.
I summarized everything we’ve been learning so far about Christian Stewardship in one statement: “Everything is God’s and I am a steward of His resources. I will use what He has given me, as best I can, His way, despite the risks.” This is how Christians see not only their money, but their time, abilities, and lives. The only question is whether or not you agree. And if you do agree, that means you are going to live very differently from the world.
Let me break it down for you into smaller agreements: “Do you believe that ‘everything is God’s?” All your hours, all your money, all your possessions, all your abilities, your past your future, your family, your relationships, your mouth, your mind, your job, your hobbies, your vehicle, your computer, everything? Or, are there parts of your life that you believe are yours to do with as you please and God isn’t allowed to touch? I know one person who actually said to me, “If God asked me to be poor, I’d stop following him.” What have you told God that He can’t touch or else?
Next, do you see yourself as a steward of His resources? In other words, do you hold everything loosely because it’s not yours, but simply given to you to use for God’s purposes, and only for a short while? Or, do you believe that you are the owner of all you have and can do whatever you want with it?
And have you committed to using these resources even if it is risky? The third steward in the Parable of the Talents was afraid. Does your life reflect risky stewardship? This could mean setting your schedule to glorify God rather than advance your career or do the things you prefer. This could mean giving money or things to people that you don’t know simply because they need it. This could mean using your talents and abilities even if you might be embarrassed or misunderstood. Or this could mean sharing your story even if it means others might judge you. Does your life represent a risky use of your time, talents, treasure and testimony?
And finally, are you using what you have in the best way? That’s what we’ve been discussing over the past little while. We’ve talked about how to use our Time and our Talents best, and today we’re going to talk about the stewardship of our Treasure, or our finances and possessions
Jesus and Money
This is the money part, never anyone’s favourite subject – which is why I spent a few sermons building up to it – so we could all understand that this subject is about much, much more than meeting the church budget, how much you put in the plate on Sundays, or whether you sponsor a World Vision child. That’s part of it, for sure, but as I’ve been saying, how you use your money and wealth is directly connected to your perception of God.
Jesus actually talked a lot about money. One place I read said that one out of ten verses in the gospels deal directly with the subject of money. Almost half of Jesus parables are about the use and misuse of money and possessions and how money affects people. And in the whole Bible, there are more than two thousand verses about money and possessions.Why?
Consider what happens when you listen to a preacher talk about money. What happens inside you? What do you assume about that person and their church? Greed, manipulation, hypocrisy come to mind, right? Televangelists who want you to buy miracles and forgiveness, prosperity preachers in fancy clothes who want you to buy them a new airplane to prove your faith, false teachers who say that the more you give the more God will bless you. But Jesus talked a lot about money. Was He greedy? No, He lived a very simple life. Was Jesus a manipulator who sold lies to gullible people? No, His message was about finding forgiveness and escaping the judgement of God by accepting the free gift of salvation through Him.
Yet Jesus talked a lot about money. Why?
Because our perception of our money and possessions is directly connected to our relationship with God. God knows that money and possessions are a huge problem for us. Wealth and comfort are humanities greatest temptation, greatest distraction, greatest source of division. People have been captured and enslaved as cheaper labour for wealthy nations. Children have been worked to injury and death to keep material wealth flowing. Wars have been fought over possessing land and trade routes. Families explode because of the division of a dead relative’s inheritance. Marriages end because of financial struggles. As Jesus warned us, people forfeit their souls to gain the world (Matthew 16:26), people despise God and serve money (6:24).
Consider the recent story of Melina Roberge. She is a young woman who wanted to see the world and post pictures of herself on Instagram, but couldn’t afford it. Her solution was for her and her friend to agree to smuggle $16 million dollars’ worth of cocaine aboard a cruise ship. They’re now spending up to 8 years in prison. She wasn’t in debt. She didn’t have creditors and loan sharks knocking at her door. She just wanted to live like a wealthy person and was willing to trade her future for it.
We might judge her and say, “Wow, I’d never do anything that reckless or stupid.” But turn with me to Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6 and let’s read together how we are often no different.
What Drives Us To Want Money?
Listen to the words of Jesus in 6:1 first,
“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
Jesus isn’t talking about how important it is to be generous, but how we are to conduct our generosity. What’s happening in the here? Jesus is contrasting two types of givers – the hypocrite and the secret-giver. Both see a need, both are obedient to the command to give, both even give, perhaps, the same amount. What’s the difference? One announces their generosity, one does it in secret.
But what’s the fear driving the hypocrite? That they will receive no reward for their giving. They want their gift to be noticed, acknowledged, and “praised”. Their fear is that they will do something good and no one will ever know – and it will, therefore, be a waste of time.
So, I ask you, “What is this person’s relationship with God like?” Their generosity is not driven by love for God or their fellow man, is it? They don’t think God will reward them properly so they seek reward from others. In their heart, God is unfair, uncaring, maybe even unaware of their good deeds.
Now, if this person believes that life’s greatest rewards come from the attention of the people around him, what does that say about who they are living to impress? What is their view of heaven and the afterlife? Who are they most afraid of offending? God or man? Man, right? It is the world that they believe is most worthy of their attention and consideration. It is to the world that they will bend their knee. So if they are forced to choose between obeying God’s Word or denying it for the sake of appeasing their fans, friends or family, which do you think they will they choose? The people around them, right?
So, even though this person is seen by the whole community as religious, kind, generous, boisterous in their giving – how is their relationship with God? Not very good. They fear man more than God and eternity in Heaven isn’t as good as what the world can offer them.
Treasures in Heaven
Now, turn to verse 19 and let’s read it together:
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
What’s going on here? Again, we see a contrast of people. Both are “laying up” or “storing up” or “collecting” or “accumulating” treasures for themselves, right? The question isn’t whether or not people should seek treasure, but where they are supposed to keep it. God acknowledges that everyone has an innate desire to make piles of things we find to be important – it’s written into our DNA. When we like something, we want more of it. When we experience something we enjoy, we want to do it again. When we love something, we want to protect it.
So, what’s the difference here? Location. One person is storing their “treasures on earth”. What do they love most, what are they making piles of? We get an idea of what Jesus is talking about. He says that some people make piles of things that devouring insects like moths and termites can destroy, so that includes organic things made of wood, cotton, wool, silk, leather, feathers, fur, and food. That’s a lot of stuff we have, isn’t it? Jesus says that the piles are also made of things that can rust, meaning things that get old and eventually break down in the course of time. That basically includes every piece of technology we have from hammers and iPhones to houses and cars. Jesus also says that our worldy piles are made of imperishable things too. Bugs can’t eat them, they aren’t damaged by time, but they can be stolen – which is pretty much everything else: gold, silver, bitcoin, and really, anything that’s not nailed down.
There’s a McDonalds that I often go to in Ottawa that used to have fancy café style, cushioned seats in one part, but after a little while, they were replaced by those ones that are cemented into the ground. I liked the cushy ones and asked what happened. The guy behind the till said, “They kept getting stolen. People would come in, distract us, and then grab all the chairs and walk out the doors. It happened multiple times, so the managers just decided to get kind people can’t steal.” There’s nothing out there that people won’t steal.
But what’s going on behind the scenes here? Again, we see two contrasting people. One is concerned about amassing worldly wealth, the other heavenly. What does that mean? Jesus explains using a metaphor in verses 22-23:
“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!”
It’s all about the internal motivations of our external actions. Just like we say a person’s heart is behind one’s affections and commitments – like when we say, “He gave a whole-hearted attempt” or “His heart wasn’t in it.” – so do the eyes tell us what a person’s priorities are. If a person has “wandering eyes”, it means they are unfaithful to their spouse. When we tell someone to “keep your eye on the prize” we mean to block out distractions and focus on the goal. When someone is angry or happy or jealous, but trying to conceal it, we say, “You can see it in their eyes.”
We say that we can’t know what’s in someone’s heart, but a person’s eyes often betray their inward motives. That’s sort of what’s being gotten at here. It’s about how a person’s focus determines their intentions and their destination.
If one is focused on accumulating clothes, wealth, treasures, and security on earth, then they are focused on what Jesus calls “dark things”. If your eye consistently wanders towards wealth, financial security, envying others who are richer, gaining more and better things, adding to your collection, making greater piles that are locked up in more secure strongholds – that betrays a darkness that is within you – and that darkness makes you blind to the truth, blind to what which is truly valuable, blind to God. It is only when it is taken away that you can finally see.
But if you are focused on storing and accumulating your wealth in heaven, meaning your greatest concern is what God thinks, how God will reward you, what your eternity will look like and who will be there with you – your focus is on “light things”.
These are two completely different lives, right? One focused on self, the other focused on God and others. One focused on the here and now, the other on the future. One focused on comparing their piles with others, the other on what God wants them to do with what they have. One concerned that what they have will be ruined and stolen, constantly worried about their stuff, the other free from that concern because they trust God for their provision.
But which do we often associate with being blessed? The one with the piles of wealth and financial security or the one who gives away their piles and has to trust God for daily bread?
A Christian cannot waver between the two. We must choose. This isn’t about how much you have, whether you are rich or poor or in-between, but about how you see what you have – that inward darkness or light that drives your intentions and your destination. There are wealthy righteous people and poor selfish people. There are wealthy selfish people and poor generous people.
Jesus says in verse 24 that we can’t ride the fence on this one. We can’t store up piles on earth and in heaven. We can’t fear man and fear God. We can’t make piles because we are worried about our security and our retirement and say we trust God. We can’t compare ourselves to others and want what they have and say that we trust Jesus and are living His way. He says, “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.”
We’ll talk more about this next week, but let me close with this: Martin Luther once said,
“There are three conversions: the conversion of the heart, the mind, and the purse.”
What he meant was that in a Christian’s life we usually start by asking Jesus for forgiveness and call Him our Saviour. We give Him our heart. Then, as we progress in the faith, are challenged to defend our faith, spend time in study, and give up bad habits, we turn our minds, our thought lives, our attention to Jesus.
But for many believers, the place that their conversion stops is their purse, or their money and possessions. Most don’t tithe regularly, many don’t live generously. Many Christians, when faced with tragedy or trouble, run to money way before they even consider God. They turn to their overdraft, their credit cards, get a loan or another mortgage. Many are up to their eyeballs in debt and couldn’t help someone if they wanted to. Many more are caught in webs of jealousy and envy, comparing themselves to others, buying things they don’t need on credit, and resenting God for not giving them more. Many Christians live in a state of constant anxiety about their financial future, giving up their parenting responsibilities, their marriage, and even their health because they’re always worried there won’t be enough. How many Christians have a storage box or a full room at one of those Dymon buildings full of things they are paying rent simply to hoard for months on end – never considering that they don’t need it and others do?
Why? Because they have not yet had the conversion of the purse. Their eyes are fixed on dark things, their treasure is on earth, and they are more afraid of men than God.
We are all caught up in this in some way. Let me encourage you to take some time this week to think through this, to pray through this, to ask God to open your eyes to “light things” and show you parts of your life you haven’t turned over to Him yet – so that you can grow in faith, wisdom, and fear of the Lord.
We’ve been working through a series on Stewardship over the past few weeks. Stewardship is the word that Christians usually use to talk about how we see and use all the good things that God has given us in this world. Our jumping off point was 1 Corinthians 16:1-2 where Paul is asking the church to set aside some money he can bring with him to help out the needy church in Jerusalem, but hopefully, by now we’ve all realized that godly stewardship encompasses so much more than just our finances.
We’ve talked about a lot of subjects in this series. We’ve talked about the reputation the church has with the world around us when it comes to money, why we pass the plate on Sundays and the importance of building a habit of a lifestyle of generosity.
We’ve covered a few big Stewardship questions, the first of which is “Whose is it?”. Regardless of whether it’s our time, talents, treasure, or testimony, the first question Christians need to ask is, “Whose is it?”. The answer to that question radically our outlook. If it’s mine then I can do whatever I want – but if it’s God’s, then that means I’d better ask Him what He wants me to do with it.
That led to the study of the Parable of the Talents where we asked the second big question, “What am I supposed to do with it?” and the most general answer to that question was simply, “God wants us to do something with it that will serve others and honour Him.”
Next came a discussion of the “risk” of using what we have and how our perception of God changes how we see everything we have. If we believe God is generous, then we will be generous with others – but if we feel God is holding out on us, then the risk sharing is too great and we end up holding onto things more tightly and share a lot less.
Which brings us to last week’s message where we moved from not only talking about taking the risk to do “something” with what God gives us but how to use these gifts “best” We started with God’s gift of time and how to perceive and use it in a biblical way.
Along the way, I came up with a brief statement to challenge us and clarify what Christians believe about the use of their time, talents, treasure, and testimony. It simply says, “Everything is God’s and I am a steward of His resources. I will use what He has given me, as best I can, His way, despite the risks involved.”
Are you with me so far? If you want to get caught up on the series, head to my Art of the Christian Ninja blog and you’ll be able to read and listen to them all there.
Talents and Abilities
Today I want to talk about the stewardship of our Talents and Abilities, but first I want to show you this:
David Green said at the end there, “We do not own this company but we’re the stewards.” His son, Steve Green said, “This business has been blessed by God. He has given the family the skills and ability, the opportunity, the time, the ideas – all of these have come… from God, and so for us to lay claim to any of that would be wrong.”
And then Debbie Kinsey, “Management Ministries Coordinator” – which I don’t know what that is, but it sure sounds like an interesting position – she said she heard an employee say, “I clean restrooms and I clean floors to help David Green get the gospel spread worldwide.”
That is a group of people that have a good, Christian understanding of Christian stewardship.
Whose Am I? – Radical Individualism
It all goes back to our first question, right? Whose is it? – but in this case, it’s a little different. It’s not, “Whose is it?? It’s, “Whose am I?” All throughout the scriptures, we are reminded that everything is God’s – the sky, the seas, the animals – but we sometimes forget that we ourselves are God’s.
We live in a radically individualistic society. For a long time societies, cities and nations were built on the premise that the family, the church, our countrymen, the state, the king, or God was the highest thing of value, worth the higher honour, and the most worth protecting, that has shifted in our culture to the highest value being individual rights.
It used to be that if someone’s life was going off the rails, they were making bad decisions, they were being selfish, you could say, “Don’t you know that you’re hurting your family, you are having a bad influence on your friends, you need to change your ways because your life is having a negative effect on those around you.” That concept is more and more foreign today.
Now, we are told from a very early age that we are special, distinct from the group, that the highest consideration in our life should be our own needs, wants, desires, hopes and dreams. This is seen as breaking the bondage of the oppressive forces that have held people down for so long – parents, religion, government, teachers, and everyone that says “no”. The heroes of modern stories are less and less the ones who put themselves second and fight for others or the “cause”. Now more and more of our society’s “heroes” are the ones who break away from everyone else, do what they want, and become whatever they want to be. Instead of running toward others, they run away, and then attract likeminded others to them.
I like superhero movies and I’ve noticed that even the superhero genre is affected. Superman used to put himself at risk and fight for “truth, justice and the American way”, but now he’s brooding, distant, and seems only to fight begrudgingly. If you’ve seen the new Superman movies you’ll remember Superman’s Mom’s advice:
“I never wanted this for you. Be their hero, be their monument, be their angel, be everything they need you to be – or be none of it. You don’t owe this world a thing. You never did.”
That’s radical individualism. Even though you’re Superman, sent to earth to help people and be a good example, his mom is like, “Meh. Who cares about the world? Do whatever makes you happy, kid.”
As we’ve moved farther from God we’ve become more enamoured with ourselves. As we’ve allowed sin to dictate more and more of our actions, we’ve pushed God and others more and more to the side. As we grow more radically individual, our moral compass gets more out of whack. Think about it? What do the rise in abortions, the legalization of drugs, the crazy divorce rate, social media addiction, the destruction of our environment, the military’s consistent recruitment struggles, and the legalization of assisted suicide have in common? Radical individualism.
If the universe revolves around you, then why keep the baby if it will just be a burden to you? If my desires matter most, why not get stoned whenever I want, even when at work or driving? If my happiness and comfort is paramount why stay in a difficult marriage? Why not litter everywhere and mow down a rainforest? Why should I put myself at risk of getting shot somewhere overseas or be stationed somewhere I don’t want to live? And then, if it’s all about me, why not kill myself when I feel like I’m not accomplishing what I want to do anymore?
We Are Not Our Own
That is the absolute opposite of what Christianity teaches. The Bible teaches us that we are not our own. Listen to some of these verses: “…you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.” (Psalm 137:13) “You clothed me with skin and flesh, and knit me together with bones and sinews.” (Job 10:11) The way you look, how your body is built, your height, eye colour, beauty and deformities are all designed by God. Same with your neighbour, your child, and your friend.
Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” That means that not only did God design us, but also made each of us able to do good works, and then prepared some things for us to do!
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says to Christians, “You are not your own, you were bought at a price.” The Bible doesn’t present anyone in this world as free. We are either slaves to sin or slaves to Christ. Jesus says, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin.” (John 8:34) An unrepentant sinner doesn’t actually do whatever they want, they do what sin wants them to do – which is why it ends up destroying them. In the same way, a Christian doesn’t do whatever they want, but instead have given themselves to God. They were ransomed from hell by the death and resurrection of Jesus. He paid the price and now owns them.
Romans 6:16-18 says it this way,
“Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.”
The Bible doesn’t present anyone as being free in the ultimate sense (full-autonomy). No one. Everyone is in servitude to someone – either sin or Jesus. Christians recognize this and say, “I’m so sick of being tossed around and beaten by the my slave master, Sin. I am regretful of all that it has made me do and wish I could get away from him. But I’m trapped and he owns me.” Jesus says, “I will pay your ransom. I will buy you back from sin and death. I will trade my life for yours and then be your new master, your new Lord. And my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Come and be with me.” Part of being a Christian is making Jesus not only our Saviour, but our Lord. And recognizing Him as Lord means recognizing that we are not our own.
You Are a Gift
But there’s another way that we are not our own. Throughout the Bible people are presented as gifts to one another. I can’t think of anyone in the Bible that was placed on earth to be by themselves.
It was not good for Adam to be alone, so God presented Eve to him, and they were to live life together. Abraham was brought out of obscurity not to be made special, but to be the father of nations by which the Saviour would come. Joseph wasn’t made the most powerful man in Egypt because he was so talented, but so the Israelites could be saved from famine. David wasn’t made king because he was so strong and popular, but because He was a servant of God who could defend and lead his people. His successes and failures affected everyone. The times when things to really wrong in the Bible is when people get selfish. Their sin ends up spreading all over the place and ruining all kinds of things.
Consider Jesus. Listen to Colossians 1:15-18, “
He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent.”
That’s quite a description, isn’t it? Everything was “created through him and for him”. The word, “firstborn” there doesn’t mean Jesus was created, it’s a title. He’s the prince of all creation, the one who will inherit it all. Everything is His. He is preeminent.
Now listen to Him teaching His disciples in Matthew 20:25-28,
“Jesus called them together and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’”
Jesus, the preeminent One, says, “No one on earth, not even me, is an island unto themselves. Everyone is a gift to everyone else.” Jesus didn’t come as king of the universe, but as the ultimate servant, the ultimate gift to mankind.
That’s how Christians see themselves – not as mere individuals, but as gifts to each other. First, when we are born, we are given as gifts to our family. We cherish babies of all kinds because they are gifts to us from God. Then, as we grow, we live and serve our family, placing their needs above ours – and they do the same for us. We learn how to serve and be served as we are part of a loving family. Then, we leave our family and we are given as a gift, and receive the gift of a spouse. We get married to someone who helps in ways our family can’t – and we help them in ways their family can’t. In the ups and downs of marriage we learn how to be more holy, more selfless, more humble, more giving, more sacrificial – in short, more like Jesus. And then, in marriage we are given as the gift to our own babies, and the cycle continues.
But more than that. Throughout our lives God gifts us to more people. We are given as a gift to our country to be a good citizen. We are a gift to our church. We are given as a gift to our friends and neighbours. We are given as a gift to our workplaces, our employers and employees, to help each other flourish and find meaningful work in this world.
But as I said, this all gets messed up when selfishness and radical individualism take hold of our hearts, when we start to erect borders and walls between us and others.
- We try to erect the wall of racism, saying that our people group is better than another, refusing to help or listen to others because of a difference in skin colour or nationality.
- We erect economic walls believing that rich people are better than poor, or poor are better than rich, or the middle is better than anyone else.
- We erect walls between the sexes, chauvinism that says men are better than women, and messed up feminism that says women are better than men.
- In the church we see all kinds of these walls, like ageism where young people and old people can’t get along, even long enough to sing the same song.
The devil plays us against each other and they we do his work for him. All of these divisions are ungodly, sinful, and dangerous. Galatians 3:26-29 says to believers,
“…for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.”
It says, “Guys, the divisions are gone. It’s not about you. You’re all family now. So live for each other.”
The Bible says repeatedly that God has given each of us different sets of gifts to steward. Some have more time, others less. Some have more talents, others less. Some have more money, others less. Some have more experience, others less. Our job is just to figure out what God has created us to do and then go do it. And whatever that is, it’s always going to be about honouring God and serving others.
Three More Things
I just want to say three more things and then I’ll close.
God Don’t Make No Junk
First, I hope that this study helps to changes our perspective of ourselves and others. Sometimes we look at ourselves or someone else and think, “Wow, I’m useless. I’m not strong enough, not brilliant enough, not creative enough, not old enough, not young enough, not experienced enough, not put together enough. God made me wrong and I don’t really have a place in this world. If I was more like this person or that person then I’d really do good, but I’m not.”
I hope this study helps you see that no one is useless. No one is an accident. And, because of the grace of God, no one is beyond his ability to use for His Kingdom. You have strengths, even if you haven’t discovered them. You have abilities, even if you’ve buried them under a pile of sin, fear and shame. But even if you were utterly incapable of doing anything – like a newborn baby – you would still have inherent worth because you are a child of God and one of His image bearers. As they say in the South US, “God don’t make no junk.”
I thought it was really interesting when David from Hobby Lobby in the video said that he used to feel guilty because his whole family went into ministry but he had a heart for selling things in retail stores. He felt bad because he thought that God like ministers, missionaries, and Sunday school teachers better. Why? Because he had a poor understanding of what God expected of him.
If you are constantly comparing yourself to others and trying to be something God didn’t create you to be, you are going to feel like junk. And, on the other side of the coin, if you judge people by your own standards and not God’s, then you are going to see them as junk. You are going to look at your own weaknesses, and the weaknesses of others as problems, excuses as to why you and them aren’t good enough for God to use. And you will want to do what we all do with junk that has no value, that is worthless – you’ll want to throw yourself or them away.
But that’s totally wrong. As long as David thought that God only wants people to be pastors and missionaries he felt like junk. But once he figured out that God didn’t make him to be in full time ministry in a church, he finally figured out he can be in full time ministry by serving God in and through passion he has for managing retail stores and selling craft supplies. That’s amazing! And it’s true for you too. God calls very few people to be missionaries and pastors and teachers. He calls most people to serve outside the church, in their families, neighbourhoods and workplaces. And He uses people of all sorts to do it.
Moses stuttered. Abraham was old. Hosea had a super messed up marriage. David was a hothead who wanted to kill people who he didn’t like and then had an affair. Jonah ran away from his mission. John Mark ran away too. Elijah suffered from ministry burnout. Paul was blind, sick, and used to chase and murdered Christians. Timothy was so stressed out he had stomach problems. Lazarus was dead. And yet God used them mightily.
Whether you think yourself too weak, or you are that prideful person who keeps judging others as disqualified. Listen again to 1 Corinthians 1:26-31, “For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.’”
We Will Be Judged
Second, I want you to realize that at the end of time, the Bible says that Jesus will evaluate every person, every Christian’s contribution to the life of the church and the deeds they have done. Just like the master came home and took account of what his stewards did with their talents, so will Jesus inspect what we have done with what he has given us. Listen to the words of Romans 2:6-8, “God ‘will repay each person according to what they have done.’ To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.” 2 Corinthians 5:10, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.”
How we use the abilities, talents and spiritual gifts that God has given us will be judged. Listen closely. Christian, your salvation is assured, because that is dependent on the work of Jesus Christ. Listen to 1 Corinthians 3:11-13, “For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw—each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done.”
The foundation of our salvation is built by Jesus, but the life we build on that foundation, the way we use the gifts we’ve been given according to our ability, that will be judged.
We do well when we cultivate a healthy fear of God in this area.
How to Use Them Best
The third question of stewardship, if you remember, is “How do I use it best?”, right? So how can we use our talents and abilities best? That’s a tough one to answer because they are so varied, but let me try.
If you are serving in your wheelhouse right now, you know you’re where you’re supposed to be, then great. Give me a call and talk to some Christian friends about how you can grow in that area. But if you are like a majority of people and haven’t got that figured out yet, then what I want you to do three things:
First, ask God if you are doing the right thing or if you should change? Ask Him to guide you to where you are supposed to serve Him and be open to His call. I’m only a preacher today because I decided one day to be open to a radical change. So open your heart and ask God.
The second is to explore your gifts. In other words, try different things. Take a few personality tests, a spiritual gifts inventory, and a job placement test. Volunteer for different things to try them out. If you stink at it, that’s ok. You’re allowed to make mistakes here. We still love you. What better place is there to experiment with your interests than surrounded by a loving church family, right? There are a lot of people who are serving in the wrong place either because of fear or obligation or confusion. I don’t want that for you.
And third, I want you to get brave and talk to people who care for you about what they see in you, what your strengths and weaknesses are, and then listen. Be willing to try doing what they see in you instead of dismissing it out of fear or because it’s too much work.
First, A Quick Request:
Here’s the poll (link fixed): https://www.facebook.com/ArtOfTheChristianNinja/posts/1618969174822815
Over the past few weeks we’ve been talking about the wise and godly use of all the good gifts that God has given us in our lives, which usually, in the Christian church, is called “stewardship”.
The jumping off point of our study was 1 Corinthians 16:1-2 where the Apostle Paul gave final instructions to gather up a collection to help out the needy Christians in Jerusalem. They had asked how they could help and Paul said,
“Now concerning the collection for the saints: as I directed the churches of Galatia, so you also are to do. On the first day of every week, each of you is to put something aside and store it up, as he may prosper, so that there will be no collecting when I come.”
On the first week of our study we talked about some of the ways that the Christian church has gotten a bad reputation for how we see, use and ask for money, explained the historical background of this passage and why churches gather weekly collections. A big part of that was understanding that our collection helps believers practice a lifestyle habit of generosity – of holding our wealth and possessions loosely and allowing God to dictate how they are to be used. The big question was to ask ourselves if we really understand God’s love for us and if that understanding is reflected in our generosity toward others.
This led to last week’s conversation about Stewardship where we expanded the definition to encompass not only our wealth and possessions but our entire lives – our time, talents, treasure and testimony. We asked some important questions last week and were challenge to clarify in our own hearts how we perceive ourselves, our stuff, and the world. I said the first question of Stewardship is, “Whose is it?”. When we look at the time we have been given in a day, the abilities and skills we possess, the wealth we have, and all the things that have happened to us that have created the story of our lives, we must ask ourselves, “Whose is it?” or “Whose am I?”. If the real answer is “It is God’s, I am God’s”, then that changes everything about how we use it.
The second question from last week was, “What am I supposed to do with it?” If we acknowledge that whatever we have is God’s, then the next, logical question is, “What does He want me to do with it?” That led to a study of the Parable of the Talents where we answered this question in the most basic way: God wants us to do “something” with it. The big lesson of the Parable of the Talents was that, for various reasons, the third steward did nothing and was therefore condemned.
We talked about how our perception of ourselves and our stuff is directly connected to how we see God. If we believe He is generous, then we will be generous. If we believe He is stingy, then we will be stingy. If we believe He will provide for us, then we will provide for others. If we believe God holds out on us, then we will hold out on others.
How Can I Use it Best
So, if you’re with me so far, and can agree with this statement, then we can move forward to the next question:
“Everything is God’s and I am a steward of His resources. I will use what He has given me, as best I can, His way, despite the risks involved.” Can you agree to that?
If so, we move on to the third question: “How can I use it best?” Whatever “it” is… the time we have in a day, the money in our pocket, the car we drive, the stuff on our shelves, the skills and abilities we have, or the story of our lives, the question isn’t just, “Will I use it for God’s glory and humanity’s good?”, but “How can I use it best for God’s glory and humanity’s good?”
So over the next bit, I want to go through these four gifts and get practical about how to use them best.
Stewardship of Time
First, let’s talk about how to steward our Time best.
I’ve been using The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis over the past little bit and it has been absolutely chopping me in half. It was written sometime in the 1400s but it reads like it could have been written today. Other than the Bible this may be the most published book of all time with thousands of editions over the past 500+ years.
The first section talks a lot about how we are to steward our thought life, which actually has a lot to do with how we steward our time, and is certainly something I’ve been struggling with lately. Most of you know that our family has been going through some difficulties over the past while and for me, when I get overwhelmed with it all, it’s very tempting to shut down my thoughts and shut out the world by distracting myself with Netflix or YouTube or the internet. I know it’s not healthy, but until recently I don’t think I realized how dangerous it is.
Thomas a Kempis says this,
“What good is much discussion of involved and obscure matters when our ignorance of them will not be held against us on Judgment day? Neglect of things which are profitable and necessary and undue concern with those which are irrelevant and harmful, are great folly.”
That hit me like a wall and I’ve been chewing on it for a while, but then, just this past week, I read this…
“How can a man who meddles in affairs not his own, who seeks strange distractions, and who is little or seldom inwardly recollected, live long in peace?…. We are too occupied with our own whims and fancies, too taken up with passing things. Rarely do we completely conquer even one vice. And we are not inflamed with the desire to improve ourselves day by day; hence, we remain cold and indifferent. If we mortified our bodies perfectly and allowed no distractions to enter our minds, we could appreciate divine things and experience something of heavenly contemplation.
The greatest obstacle, indeed, the only obstacle, is that we are not free from passions and lusts, that we do not try to follow the perfect way of the saints. Thus, when we encounter some slight difficulty, we are too easily dejected and turn to human consolations. If we tried, however, to stand as brave men in battle, the help of the Lord from heaven would surely sustain us…. Let us, then, lay the axe to the root that we may be freed from our passions and thus have peace of mind…. If you do not overcome small, trifling things, how will you overcome the more difficult? Resist temptations in the beginning, and unlearn the evil habit lest perhaps, little by little, it lead to a more evil one.
If you buy consider what peace a good life will bring to yourself and what joy it will give to others, I think you will be more concerned about your spiritual progress.”
My spirit drank that in like a withered plant takes in water after a drought. How much time have I spent on things which were neither profitable nor necessary, seeking “strange distractions” in things that are irrelevant and even harmful? It’s no wonder I don’t have peace and joy in my heart and it’s wrong to blame others and circumstances for making me feel so miserable. This says, “Where did you turn when difficulties arise? Human consolations? Then is it any wonder you have no divine peace?” The challenge is to lay the axe to the root of the problem and finally be freed from all the garbage distractions I keep going to so I may finally have that heavenly sustenance.
And a lot of that is about wise time management. That requires making different choices with ow I use my time, right? So, how can we build the habit of using our time well?
Wasted and Anxious
Maybe you resonate with what I’ve been saying about wasting time, or perhaps you are one of those people that is worried that you haven’t done enough with your life, that you need to do more, that there is so much to accomplish, are always rushed, always busy, and forever feel like you are falling behind. The invisible list you keep in your mind of where you should be and what you should have done by now bring you nothing but guilt and shame and fear. You compare yourselves with others, with people your age, or with the aspirations you had when you were younger, and you feel guilty. Or perhaps you are younger and you’re looking at the future and it’s coming up fast – and you need to make decisions about school, career, marriage, where you’ll live, what you’ll do. Time seems like an enemy to you.
You think you should be making more money and have a better career by now Or you should have your life planned out by now. You should have your house paid off by now. You should have written that book by now – or at least read that book by now. You promised yourself that you would have achieved a certain dream a long time ago, but there’s never enough time. Or merely on a daily basis – you simply always feel behind, always feel lost, like you’re never in the right place, and whatever energy you expend is never enough to catch up.
And maybe you even impose this anxiety on others. You’re always rushing people, even when there’s no reason to rush. Every time you leave the house there’s a competition to see who can get out first and fastest so they don’t have to face your wrath. You buy groceries and stand there for a few moments worrying you’ll pick the wrong line and lose precious seconds of your day. You yell at anyone who is late, constantly tap your foot or pace when you are stuck somewhere, and there always seems to be too much traffic no matter where you go. Anyone resonate with this?
Whether you struggle with wasting time or with the fear of time, let me tell you that what’s at the root of the problem isn’t first a calendar issue but a gospel issue. What is the solution? We must first turn to God and His Word.
All Time is God’s Time
The first thing is to realize is that all time is God’s time. This goes back to our first question, “Whose is it?” Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 3:11, “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Humanity has a concept of time and eternity, and most people seem to inherently live with a constant sense of urgency. Even atheists inherently know that their life is not lived in a temporal vacuum but live as though this present experience is not all there is. They may deny an afterlife, but the way they live shows that they want their lives to not only matter, but have lasting effect. They have “eternity in their hearts”. Unless you are utterly depressed or suicidal, almost everyone lives as though what they do has some sort of significance. Whether they are a stoner who sits around eating chips or an ultra-driven Fortune 500 CEO, if you ask them, they will give you some reason for what they are doing.
But, a Christian who believes that all time is God’s time, our reason for what we do is very different. We are not drive by fear or sloth. We know that God knows everything that has and will happen, that He has a plan from the beginning and the end, and that He has invited us to work within His plan and do things of eternal value. Therefore, we don’t see time as a trap, or that there’s not enough, or that it’s something to waste, but as a gracious gift from a loving God. One more good thing God has given us in order to accomplish His will for our lives.
And, not only is our time is a God-given gift and therefore good, but God Himself is good, gracious and forgiving. So when He sees we have wasted a day, or when we feel like we’ve fallen behind, or we’re anxious and harried, we can know that our Heavenly Father isn’t like your stressed out mom or dad – tapping His foot, checking His watch, rolling His eyes, grumbling and sighing, and saying, “When will you get going? Why haven’t you done more?! I’m running out of time! You’re ruining my plans!” He’s really not.
Why? Because neither you nor I are powerful enough to effect God’s plans. He will accomplish what He wills with or without us. What’s amazing is that He invites us to accomplish it with Him and then shares the reward with us. But He never feels like we’ve fallen behind, because He’s never behind!
Think of you asking a toddler to help you do a project. You need dinner buns baked by supper or need to change the oil in the car. Whether the toddler helps or not, the buns will be made and the oil changed, right? Our joy is inviting our child to do it with us – even though they do very little or nothing at all. Are we mad when they don’t roll their little bit of dough fast enough? Are we mad when they are standing next to us holding a tool? No. Why? Because we know it’ll get done because we’re in charge of the project. We’re in charge of the time. We know what we’re doing. We’re just glad they’re there. God’s relationship with us is a perfected version of that.
Yes, God holds us accountable for how we use our time, we see that throughout scripture, but sinning in our use of time is no worse than any other sin. God still forgives, still wipes the slate clean, still restores us, and still, as Ephesians 3:20 says, “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us…”
As I said, neither you nor I is powerful enough to hurt God’s plans, and He loves us so much that at any moment He’s willing to get us back on track. Our sins in our use of time – whether wasting it through doing nothing or doing too much — is also covered under by blood of Christ. He will forgive and restore us if we ask for it.
All time is God’s time and He can grow it and stretch it, or shrink it and stop it whenever and however He wants. Once you’ve settled that in our heart it will go a long way to decreasing your guilt, anxiety and fear.
Track Your Time
Which leads us to the most practical thing you can do in order to use your time best. There are thousands of different methods, but the most important thing you can do is simply to keep track of your time, and I want to talk about that for a minute.
Once you have realized that God is not a harsh, clock-watching, foot-tapping taskmaster, and you have committed to simply living every day His way, the most important, practical thing you can do is to track how you use your time.
- The Bible often speaks of things happening at the “right time”, or the “appointed time” (Exodus 13:10; Psalm 75:2; John 7:6-8; Romans 5:6; 8:22; 1 Corinthians 4:5) and the tracking of time is all over the Bible.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.”
- Ephesians 5:15-17 says, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.”
- Psalm 90:12 says, “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.”
- Jesus says in John 9:4, “We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work.”
- The Parable of the Ten Virgins comes right before the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25 and it’s all about how important it is to use our time on earth carefully.
The best way to do that is to keep track of what you are doing. Whether you use an online calendar or a paper daytimer, in order to be wise with your time you need to be writing down what you are doing. I use Google Calendar online and it syncs to my phone and my computer. My wife and I are even able to connect our calendars so we can see what the other one is doing. Tracking time allows you to block out how much time you’ll need – not just for the meeting or the event, but the car ride over and the hangout time after.
I’m not just talking about meetings and work though. Have you been wishing you can get in date night with your spouse and kids, wishing you could finally read that book, wishing you had more time to cook or clean or organize? Want to get a better job, find a school, finish your project, even watch a show you’ve been wanting to see? Block it in and then it’s there.
If you’re one of those people who are constantly letting others down because you are always late, this will help you. If you’re always tired, always frustrated, always on edge – tracking your time will help you get control of that. Block out time for sleep, time to eat, time to pray, time to go to church, time to play with your kids, time to visit your friends, time to nap and rest and exercise.
I’ve done this many times in my past, clocked everything down to 15 minute blocks, and it is amazing how the picture of your life shows up in your calendar. You are tired because you don’t sleep or eat. You are stressed because you don’t leave enough time to get places. You realize you haven’t connected to your family in forever and likely never will if you keep going this way. Tracking your time not only helps you fix your priorities but also lets you see how many hours you’ve wasted in your day. You don’t realize how many hours per week you spend online or whatever until you actually total it up. Tracking time is an awesome tool.
If you don’t track your time, it will get away from you, and you will be one of those people who cannot be trusted, let people down, are always feeling stressed out and guilty, and are forever wondering why you can’t get things done. Having no picture of your time makes you feel like you are always in in the wrong place. But you know what? The stress go way down when you block in what you want to do.
You can say, “It’s ok that I nap now, because I have my time under control. It’s ok to watch this show, because I’ve been planning this for a while. I don’t have to rush through this romantic date or board game or work project because I know that I’ve given myself enough time to do it.” Or even, “Sure I’d love to try that new thing. I’ve left some time for things like that.” The spiritual benefits of being consistently connected to God, because you have set aside time to be with Him are awesome too. Tracking time is amazingly freeing.
Two Final tips
Let me close with two final tips on this in order to get the most out of time management.
First, practice the phrase, “Nope, I can’t make it. I’ve already got something else planned then.” Here’s the trick: It doesn’t matter what that “something else” is and it’s none of their business. Maybe it’s work, but maybe it’s a nap. Maybe it’s your bible reading. Maybe it’s date night. Maybe it’s watching a TV show. Once you’ve mapped things out in your life, blocked out your priorities in advance, you’re going to find that a world of opportunities to ruin your schedule will open up to you – and some of you will feel very guilty in keeping your schedule. Suddenly a bunch of seemingly super-urgent, vitally important things will try to wreck your calendar. Someone will plan a meeting during a time you’ve set aside to be with your family, or someone will start something early in the morning that you kind of want to go to.
Normally, you’d tell your family to take the back seat, or give up your sleep or devotional time, or try to accelerate everything in order to please everyone – don’t. It’s not worth it. You’ll just let people down, stress yourself out, and feel guilty about being in the wrong place. If you’ve prayed about this schedule, agreed on it with your family, and have set your priorities straight, there’s no reason to feel guilty when you say “Nope, I can’t make it. I’ve already got something else planned then.”
And my second tip is this: If you find yourself overwhelmed in your planning, surrounded by chaos, stressed by the needs of the day, and utterly confused about what is going on: Do what an old mentor of mine once told me: “Just do the next, right thing.” First, remember that all time is God’s time and if you’ve gotten yourself in a pickle, He will forgive you. So ask forgiveness of God for stressing out and whatever you’ve done to contribute to this situation – and then forgive yourself – and then just “do the next, right thing”.
Jesus says in Matthew 6:34, “…do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Implicit is that statement is that the past is done and can’t be changed, only God knows the future, and you and I are only responsible for the present. That brings a lot of peace. So, when life comes rushing at you, smashes into you like a wave, and then sucks you into the undertow, stop for a moment and say, “What is the next, right thing?”
Maybe it’s to eat some food because you haven’t done all day. Maybe it’s to sit down and pray. Maybe it’s to clean the kitchen. Maybe it’s doing your homework. Maybe it’s calling your mom or accountability partner. Maybe it’s buying the milk you’ve needed since this morning. Maybe it’s simply fixing your schedule so this doesn’t happen again.
If the past is done and can’t be changed, God is in control of the future, and you are only responsible for the present, what is one, right thing you can do in this moment? Not the “most perfect thing”! Don’t get sucked into that trap. Just one, right thing. Start there and every time Satan says, “That’s not right. That’s not the best thing! That’s not good enough. Do something else! You’re letting everyone down!” Realize it’s your enemy who is trying to crush your spirit and stress you out, and that God loves you no matter what you have done or are currently doing – and so does your family and so do your friends and so does your church. We don’t love you because of what you do and how perfectly you accomplish your lists – we love you for you. When you get overwhelmed, stop, give God that moment and say, “Lord, I’m just going to do this next, right thing and God, that’s all I can do right now.” And I promise it’s more than enough.
And then, when you’re done that next, right thing – do the next, right thing.
Don’t miss the current blessings that God has for you because you’re dwelling on the past or fanaticizing about the future.
This week we’re going to continue our study on Tithing and Stewardship which we introduced last week by turning to Matthew 25:14 and using it to build a framework for how we are to think about how we use the things that God gives us in this world.
“Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.
After a long time, the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.’
His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
The man with the two talents also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.’
His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
Then the man who had received the one talent came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’
His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
‘Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’”
Hang In There
As I said last week, talking about money, tithing, and stewardship of our lives is one of those big deal concepts that tend to have a pretty serious effect on people and you may have one of two reactions to this topic. The first reaction is to groan and set your brain on auto-pilot because you think you already know everything I’m going to say and have settled mind on it. You don’t need to listen because no one is going to change your mind about how you live your life. This sermon is for all those people less holy than you are.
The second reaction is to get angry that I’m talking about it at all. We covered it last week, didn’t we? Why do we have to talk about money? Leave it alone. Maybe you get upset because you assume this is going to be a 45-minute guilt trip where I beg you for cash in the name of Jesus.
If you did have one of those two reactions, let me ask you to stick with me just for a little bit, because this sermon isn’t going exactly where you think it’s going.
First, I want you to notice that this sermon isn’t called “Tithing”, it’s called Stewardship. And that’s important because I’m not just going to talk about money today. What I’m going to talk about is “Stewardship”. And stewardship is about a lot more than how we use our finances. We’re going to look at 4 things that God gives us to be stewards of our time, talents, treasure and testimony. Stewardship touches every part of our lives: The time God gives us, the abilities we have, both natural and supernatural, the wealth we are born with and acquire, the story God is writing in our lives. So hang in there and let’s talk about this.
Q1: Whose Is It?
That brings us to our first Stewardship question: “Whose is it?” We touched on this last week. A “steward” is someone who takes care of someone else’s things. If you go away on vacation and ask someone to look after your cat and water your plants, you have asked them to be your steward. If you work for a company that gives you a desk and a computer, or a set of tools, or a rental car, then you are a steward of your company’s resources. If someone passes away and you are in charge of managing their estate, then you are a steward of their wealth.
Humans are stewards. We often talk about “owning” things. We “own” our home and possessions. We have our “own” money. We can make it on our “own”. The word “own” literally means to have full claim, authority, power, or dominion over something. I control it, and can do with it as I please. I can use it how I want, keep it on a shelf, or destroy it. It’s mine. In this sense, biblically speaking, humans “own nothing” because we are limited in our control, and cannot possess something forever. God is the one with eternal power, authority, dominion and control. We inherit things from others and then lose them when we die. Christians acknowledge that we do not and cannot own anything in this world.
The first realization we must make in the realm of Stewardship is that “everything is God’s.” This is a critical realization because whoever “owns” it has control of it. If I own it, then no one can tell me what to do with it. But if someone else owns it, then I must treat it very differently. No matter what it is.
We teach our kids this, don’t we? We go to a restaurant or park or a friend’s house and as soon as the roughhousing starts we say, “Be careful with that. It’s not yours.”
David in Psalm 24:1 says, and this theme is repeated throughout scripture, “The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it…”
1 Samuel 2:6-7 says, “The LORD brings death and makes alive; he brings down to the grave and raises up. The LORD sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and he exalts.”
God’s ownership extends to everything in the universe, from what we eat and drink and wear to the trees, mountains and stars, from the oil deep underground and the birds in the sky. And everything we have made, homes, cars, weapons, rocket-ships, and medicines are just reassembled versions of things that he already owns. It’s not ours, it’s His, and He gives it to us to have, use, eat, take care of, distribute, and enjoy.
This week I had to buy a new coffee pot because my old one broke. I felt no pang of guilt when I unplugged the old pot and threw it in the garbage and replaced it with another. And in the same way, the Bible says that one day, just like I tossed out the broken, dirty coffee pot, the true “Owner” of all things will finally get rid of this world and create a new one. 1 Peter 3:10, “But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare.”
You and I are merely stewards, temporary possessors, of something that we don’t own. We can use it for a few years, and make great big piles of it, and rearrange it in many different ways, and gain enjoyment from it, but as Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 5:15, “Naked a man comes from his mother’s womb, and as he comes, so he departs. He takes nothing from his labour that he can carry in his hand.”
We are merely stewards. This is what Jesus says in the story of the Talents. Look at verse 14 it says the owner “entrusted his property to them.” That’s you and me.
And in verse 15 we read that everyone gets a different amount. Now, remember, we’re not just talking money here. Whenever you read the word “Talent” in this story, think of words like “opportunity” or “blessing” or “time” or “skill”. This isn’t just about money or abilities. God entrusts each of us with different things. We all have a different amount of time to live on this earth. We all have different abilities and spiritual gifts. We all have a different amount of wealth and possessions. And we all have a different testimony or life story.
We are not equal in what God gives us. Some get more, some get less. And though what we get is not equal to others, we are all equal in our responsibility to manage it according to what the “owner” wants us to do with it. Verse 15 says that the owner gave each one a certain amount of talents “according to his ability”. In other words, He didn’t give them more than they could handle or less than they needed. He didn’t set them up for failure. He set them up to succeed.
In the same way, God gives us each a different life to steward, and He doesn’t set us up for failure. He sets us up to be able to do exactly what He wants us to do. Using His gifts, His way makes it possible to actually produce something greater than if we were not to use them – or use them selfishly. It’s a win-win-win, when we properly manage what God gives us we gain joy from using them, others benefit from their use, and God is given glory.
Q2: What am I Supposed to Do With It?
And now comes the second question: “What am I supposed to do with what God has given me?” If our time, talents, treasure and testimony are not ours, but we are merely stewards of them, then what are we supposed to do with them? The options are seemingly endless.
In the parable, we have two different responses to the talents. The first two stewards went and put their money to work, and doubled what they had. And when the owner came back he was pleased. He didn’t look at the guy was given two and say, “How come you didn’t make five like the other guy?” Instead, because the steward used what he had, and did what he could, the Owner was pleased.
Not Using Your Talent
But the third guy did nothing. He just buried it. Now here’s a big questions: Why did he bury his talent? I think that there are a lot of reasons why people don’t use what they have been given by God, but I think this story gives us two big ones.
Take a look at the third steward’s response in verse 24: “Then the man who had received the one talent came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’
Reason 1: A Bad Relationship / Misunderstanding the Owner
The first reason that people don’t use what God has given them is that they have a bad relationship with, or a total misunderstanding of the Owner. This servant didn’t really like his master. He was afraid of him. He couldn’t care less about pleasing him. He was just trying not to get punished. But was the owner really that selfish and cruel? It doesn’t sound like it to me. The owner delegates according to the ability of the servant… that shows he knows them, cares about them, and has wisdom. He leaves the servants in charge and lets them to do their job… that shows confidence and trust. He gives them lots of time and opportunity to get it done… that shows generosity and patience. When he comes back he doesn’t just grab the money out of the other steward’s hands, but swells with joy and pride in them and invites them to come and party and celebrate with him.
The third steward had a totally backwards view of the true nature of his master. And I think that we sometimes do that to God too. We don’t give our time to God because we think He’s selfish and doesn’t give us enough to work with. How many people do you know have complained there aren’t enough hours in the day? What does that imply about God? That He doesn’t give us enough time to do the things we need to do. It’s His fault.
Or maybe we it’s that we don’t use our talents and abilities for God’s kingdom because we think He doesn’t reward people properly. We know we can get more praise, money and thanks out in the secular market, so we give our best to them and leave the leftovers for God.
Or maybe it’s when we don’t give our treasure or wealth to God because we see Him as greedy, always wanting our money, and that this whole religion thing was just set up as a way to get weak-willed suckers to give up some of their cash. We don’t see God as generous and kind but as stingy, tight-fisted, selfish, beggar who is never happy but always wanting more.
One reason we bury our talent is that we don’t know the owner that well.
Reason 2: Fear
The second reason some of us bury our talents and don’t use what God gives us as good stewards, is because of our fear of risk. The first two stewards took a risk and were rewarded. The third guy was afraid to take the risk. He thought that if he just buried it and gave it back, that somehow he would at least avoid punishment. But that wasn’t the case. The talent was given to him so He would use it and gain more. That was the mission – to use what he was given to gain more for the master.
And the owner says as much in verse 26 when he says, “’You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? ” In other words, “You know that I’m all about getting the most out of what I have? You know that I’m all about squeezing every drop of opportunity to gain a profit?” “Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.”
In other words, “You could have done something! But you did nothing! I gave you this to use, and you didn’t, and that is why I am so angry. I gave you this and nothing increased. I didn’t expect much of you, but I certainly didn’t expect nothing from you.”
Some of us are afraid of risk too. Some won’t make a commitment to serve others because they don’t want to risk the possibility of running out of time for other things they want to do. So they never take the risk of getting involved, joining up, or volunteering. That way they ensure they have time for the things they want to do.
Some are afraid that they will be criticized, embarrassed, or rejected, so they never use or develop the talents and abilities that God gave them. They have a heart to teach, but they are afraid of what might happen if someone asks a question they don’t know the answer to… so they never teach. They have an aptitude for music, or public speaking, or dance, or art, but they are afraid to risk showing people because they might get critiqued. They have a talent for organizing, making money, or leadership, but they are afraid someone will misunderstand them, so they only use those gifts professionally. They don’t want to risk their feelings.
Some don’t want to risk their current or future comfort level, so they never invest their wealth in the kingdom of God. They’re more concerned about their future retirement plans than what God wants. They feel they will get better returns with their RRSP, or their Mutual Fund, or their Real Estate, than if they were to give that money to a missionary or hurting family or church ministry. If it’s in their bank or with their investors then they can control it and use it for a rainy day – but if they give it to a missionary or relief agency or church ministry, then they not only lose control of it but have no guarantee that it will do something positive for them and they may actually end up losing their comforts and seeing nothing in return. So they never take the risk. They convince themselves that making more and bigger piles at home, for their own family, is why God gave them what they have. Sharing their wealth with other Christians is too risky.
And some people are afraid to take the risk of using their gift or even sharing their testimony because being honest with people will shock them. Doing what God made them for or sharing their story will cause people or will see them in a different light. For example, their talent is unconventional – they’re great at art but everyone says that it’s a waste of time, so they bury it. They have a knack for making movies or telling dark stories, but the people around them say Hollywood is evil and telling dark stories is bad, so they bury it. They are a natural gymnast or dancer, but their church looks down on them because they’ve oversexualized it, so they quit. Or God called them to be single and everyone around is pressuring them to get married. Or God gifts them with a bazillion kids and everyone around tells them to stop. Or maybe it’s just that their testimony has some really rough parts, some bad stuff that no one knows about, and they’re afraid to tell anyone because it may risk their social status, so they never, ever share it with anyone. God gives them hopes, dreams, and a story – but they bury it because they are afraid.
Next week I want to get practical and answer question 2 in a more positive way by asking: “How can I use it best?”, but we’ve run out of time and are going to have to stop for now. But let me ask you to consider these two questions.
First, do you see yourself as a steward of all you have been given, or an owner?
And second, are you not using something God has given you, whether it’s time, talent, treasure or testimony, because you are afraid of the risk involved?
Answering those will go a long way toward figuring out how much faith and trust you have in God. Let me encourage you to work on that. If God has equipped you with something, then ask Him how to use it. Just don’t sit on it, or keep it to yourself. Even if it’s just a little… show your faith in God by starting to use it and develop it for His glory.
“As in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.” (1 Corinthians 14:33b-35)
Oh boy, have I ever been looking forward to preaching on this passage…
No one likes to be told to shut up – least of all, in my experience, women. If I tell my guy friends or my sons to “shut up” it goes a lot better than if I were to tell my wife, daughters, or female friends.
But, unfortunately, that’s a reputation that some pastors, churches and Christians have. One accusation consistently brought against the Christian church is that we are anti-female, oppressing and restricting women. And of course, horrible stories like the homeschooling parents who kept their children starving and chained to their beds, or the various reports of religious communes and cults that force women and children into servitude don’t help because they are invariably called “devout Christians” at some point by the media.   And, in our post-Christian, post-church culture, it’s natural to lump everyone who calls themselves Christian together with them. The pastors are cult leaders, the men are mysogonist pigs, the women are fools or terrorized, and the children treated no better than slaves.
I’ve heard from a few of you that some people around this area have even wondered if Beckwith Baptist Church is a cult. Long gone are the days when the small, local, Baptist church was seen as a beacon of morality. Now, the most basic Christian terms like “Christian”, “pastor”, “elder”, “deacon”, “biblical “authority”, “submission”, evoke among the culture pictures of abuse, brainwashing, and financial exploitation. People don’t know the difference between David Koresh and Jamestown, Westboro Baptist Church, or the evangelical church around the corner. Conversations with people about “going to church” or “being a Christian” these days have a lot of baggage, so it’s little wonder that some are ashamed to admit it.
And when it comes to a passage like we are looking at today, it’s even worse. Christians aren’t automatically given the benefit of the doubt to explain what it means, but instead beaten over the head with it as it’s used as confirmation bias for outsiders to spread false beliefs about what goes on here.
And within the church this is the kind of verse that people tend to avoid. They like the Gospels and Proverbs and Psalms and whatnot, even Revelation and Romans, but when it comes to this kind of verse, it’s just easier to pretend it doesn’t exist. But it doesn’t work, does it? There’s always that nagging voice inside of you that says, “What have you gotten yourself into? These people look all nice and happy now, but there’s a secret underbelly where some really bad stuff happens. These women aren’t happy, their afraid – you just don’t see it yet. These kids aren’t loved, they’re terrified to show their true feelings. These church men are all the same – they preach love and grace but secretly they are using religion to control women, harm their kids, and take people’s money. Be careful. Don’t get sucked in.”
These Christians tend to stay on the outside, never really giving themselves fully to Jesus, God, or their church, because they’re afraid they are going to be let down. They feel drawn to God, drawn to worship, drawn to Jesus. They love the message of Salvation, the idea of having a community of believers, and the practical ways that the Bible is changing their lives, but they are secretly afraid of learning too much, seeing too much, engaging too much, of finding out what Christianity is really all about.
Then a terrifying thought hits their brain: “You’re being lied to. You’re being manipulated. This church says that they’re not a cult, but that’s what all cults say isn’t it? It’s when you get into the inner circle that things start to get scary and oppressive.”
So they come to church on edge, waiting for confirmation of this little voice in their head. They start to watch the news with new eyes, seeing how much damage religion is doing around the world, and the horrible things people have done in the name of Christ. They start to remember personal stories of difficult times when they went to church as a kid, or stories their family has told, and remember that there was a lot of hurt there. Now when they attend it feels different. Now the people seem a little stranger, less trustworthy, and all the messages seem to be about judging and hating others, giving more money, and unquestioning submission to some human authority.
They usually come for a while, hoping all this isn’t true, but then, without fail, someone says or does something to confirm everything they’re thinking. A pastor commits adultery, a youth worker abuses a child, a trustee is caught stealing, a small group leader starts a fight. And their fears are confirmed so they leave angry, sad, frustrated, feeling stupid and used, vowing never to get fooled again.
They still have a hunger for God in their heart, but they keep that all to themselves now. They stay home, read the bible themselves, or start to experiment with other religions.
This story has been played out over and over in the church. Perhaps you know someone who has gone through it, or perhaps you secretly thinking some of this yourself.
So what do we do at times like this? It is my belief that everything I just described is a direct Satanic attack on the souls of people seeking God and who believe in Him. He’s a liar, a master deceiver, a manipulator who has been playing this game for a long time. So what is the solution to these sorts of lies? What are we to do when we come across a difficult passage like this that stirs up so much inside us? The only way to defeat a lie is with the truth, and so instead of avoiding these passages, we have to dig into them. We need to confront our biases and our fears and be willing to allow God’s Word to tell us what He is really saying.
So I want to do that today. I want to give us four questions to ask when it comes to these types of difficult passages so we can have a deeper faith, more trust in God, and a stronger witness to the unbelieving world.
Does this Sound like the Biblical God?
The first question I want you to ask yourself is “Does my interpretation of this passage sounds like what Jesus preached and what the rest of the Bible teaches?”
Let’s read it again,
“As in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.”
What does that sound like to your modern ears? Based on your personal history and worldview, what does that sound like? It sounds like the Apostle Paul is telling all women everywhere to keep their mouth shut when they come to church, right? He cites God Law as his authority and in verses 37, which we didn’t read, he says, “If anyone thinks that he is a prophet, or spiritual, he should acknowledge that the things I am writing to you are a command of the Lord.” It sounds like he’s saying, “God says women in all churches for all time need to shut up. Jesus says a woman asking questions is terrible.”
Sounds close, right? But is it? Does that interpretation line up with what the rest of the Bible says? Not even close. What does the Bible say? It says God created woman as the other half of His image, a compliment and gift to man, different in many ways, but equal in dignity, worth, purpose (Gen 2). It was sin that turned men against women making them use their physical strength to oppress, subjugate and enslave them.
When God gave Israel His Law, they had come from a world full of violence, superstition, oppression, and evil. His people were to be different so He broke them away from the norm and gave them a higher set of standards that elevated the status of women and children, giving them rights and protections under the Law they never had before.
And it gets better. In the New Testament. Jesus treated women and children with so much more respect and care than the culture ever did. He didn’t see women as sexual objects, or judge them by their beauty, age, marital status or anything else. He simply saw them as genuine persons worthy of love and respect. He met with them, protected them, listened to them, taught them, and cared for them as no one else would, and then taught his followers to do the same.
I want to play a clip from a man named Todd Friel who is the host of Wretched TV and Radio. He talks a little funny, but he’s a good, Christian guy and I think this clip helps us understand something important about the Christian view of women.
I could do a whole sermon on the biblical view of women, but that’s not the point today. Does the Bible teach that men should oppress women? No. Now, does it teach that women should shut up in church?
Well, in the same letter in chapter 11 it says that women are allowed to pray and prophecy in the church. It says, “…but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head…” I won’t get back into the issue of head-coverings, but notice that there were women praying and prophesying in church. In the Old Testament we have women like Meriam and Deborah leading worship and speaking publically to the people. Psalm 68:11 (NET) says, “The Lord speaks; many, many women spread the good news…” In the New Testament we see the Prophetess Anna speaking at the temple (Luke 2:36-38), Philip the Evangelist’s four daughters who prophesied (Acts 21:9), and the Apostle Peter saying at Pentecost, “And in the last days it shall be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dream…” (Acts 2:17).
Clearly, from scripture, we can say that women have the same spiritual availability to not only teach, prophecy, and share God’s Word but were doing it in the Christian church right from its inception.
So if Jesus elevated the status of women, and the church has been a champion of women’s rights, and so many other places in scripture say women can speak in church, what’s going on here?
What’s the Historical Context?
That’s the second question: “What’s the historical context?”
Notice that he’s not just telling women to change their behavior, but everyone! He tells those coming to church and eating all the food to stop it (let’s be honest, that’s probably the men). He tells those who are getting drunk at church to stop it. He tells those who are flipping out like they did at the pagan temples to stop it. He tells everyone who is being noisy and disorderly to stop it. He tells those who are yelling and singing over each other to stop it. He tells the tongues speakers to limit themselves. He tells the prophets and preachers to take turns. That’s men and women.
He’s like the referees at a hockey game where a brawl has broken out. He’s blowing his whistle, separating fighters, sending some folks to the bench and others to the locker room. He’s restoring order.
And another issue he’s dealing with is that there were a specific group of women who were disrupting the church services with questions. Whether it was because they didn’t understand what was going on and wanted to learn, or they were arguing with the points the teachers were making, or something else, these women were causing trouble in the church.
We’ve talked a lot about context over the past while so I won’t bore you with a repeat, but there are two things I want you to remember: the situation with the headdresses and the problem of disorderly worship.
Remember how messed up and chaotic the church services in Corinth were. Everyone in the church was doing whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, as loudly as they wanted, right? Remember the context of 1 Corinthians 14 where Paul is talking about what it means to be orderly in church. That’s a really important part of what’s going here. Paul’s not singling out women, but listing a whole bunch of things that are going wrong in their church services. One of those things, among many, was this group of women.
It’s likely the same group of women who were being addressed in the head coverings controversy. Remember when we talked about them we saw that there were some women that were coming to church and were not only causing disturbances but were embarrassing their husbands by they causing scenes, flaunting their sexuality and independence, and were being a bad witness to the church and the rest of society. In that lesson, we talked about how one of the big issues was that these women were disobeying God by refusing to submit to the biblical teachings of complementarianism and male headship (again, something I’m not going to repeat here). That’s very, very similar to what’s going on here.
It’s not that these women weren’t allowed to pray, prophecy, speak in tongues, worship, or serve – it was that they were part of the disorderly service problem and needed specific correction. They were asking so many questions that it was causing a ruckus (just like those speaking in tongues were). Sure, they were allowed to learn, but the worship service wasn’t the time to be interrupting with a bunch of questions.
Notice as well that this is addressed to wives. That’s what gives us a clue that this is connected to the headdress and male headship issue. It’s likely that these women weren’t just politely asking too many questions, but were actually making a scene, being out of control with their words, and reflecting badly on their husbands and families. So Paul gives them the same message as before – respect your husbands enough to show some self-control and bring your spiritual concerns to them privately first.
I wonder if this also speaks to the women who refuse to talk to their husbands about anything spiritual at all, but instead keep all those conversations for their Christian girlfriends, small groups, pastors, and Christian professionals. They have so little respect for their husband’s spirituality that they leave them completely out of the conversation. They have an issue in their heart and need counsel, a question about the Bible, need some wisdom or direction, or help with some other part of life, and don’t even talk to their husbands about it, but immediately go to their pastor, small group leader, or Christian friends. What does that say about how much they value and respect their husbands opinions? That it has zero value. That’s hurtful to the marriage disrespectful to the husband. Wives, talk to your husbands first about what’s going on in your heart. Don’t leave him out of the mix.
The first question is, “Does my interpretation of this passage line up with what the rest of the Bible teaches?” and the second question is “What is the greater historical context of this difficult passage?” . So, the third and fourth questions are simply, “What does this passage mean?” and “Will I submit myself to it?”
So, what does this passage mean? It means that the Bible elevates women, not degrades them. They have equal access to God’s Holy Spirit and are invited to learn and participate in church worship services just like men, and are under the same rules to keep it orderly. But, it also means that there is a lesson there about self-control and humbly submitting to how God wants to do things. It means that you don’t get to say whatever you want to say whenever you want to say it. It means practicing patience and submission to authority. It means respecting your husband enough to include him your spiritual walk, asking his thoughts, listening to his answers, even if it makes you uncomfortable or you don’t feel like he’s up to it.
In the end, once we study this passage, and strip away our own bias, what we see here are some verses about the godly attitudes of humility and respect? Humility and respect toward God and His rules for how we live our life. Humility and respect for your church family, placing their desires above your own. And humility and toward your husband, and that’s something that, I think, everyone can understand and agree on.
I encourage you to be introspective this week about this. Have you let Jesus take control of your tongue, your pride, and the openness between you and your spouse in your marriage? Are you practicing humility and respect in these areas?